How does not feeding on demand actually work?

[toastofthetown]

I have a four week old breastfed baby who doesn't go more than three hours between feeds and is currently on the 15th feed since 6:00am. Every midwife/doctor/health visitor appointment I've had, they've checked that the baby is fed on demand, but I have no idea how feeding on a schedule would work. When my baby starts showing hunger cues, nothing will distract them until they have milk again. They have a one track mind! Are there people who put up with hours and hours of crying to stick to a routine because I can't even fathom what not feeding on demand would look like in reality.

Yes, my friend would stick to a schedule. She would message me to say DC had been crying for 45 minutes and wouldn’t calm down with anything, but it was too early for their next bottle so she didn’t know what to do. I always said I would just give the bottle early but she would say she had to stick to the schedule.
I just fed my two when they were hungry so it’s not something I could’ve done either

It’s usually bottle fed babies that are fed on more of a schedule. I don’t think it works for breastfed babies.

So sad. Couldn’t be friends with her tbh.

Yes, that’s how it works. They literally ignore their child’s cries.

And in the past people even used to do this with BF babies. The babies would be starving hungry and they’d be looking at the clock waiting for 4 hours to pass. Baby manuals in the 60s recommended it. Awful. But then this is an era where operations on babies were done without anaesthetic.

I was born in the mid 1960s and was breastfed on a 3 hourly schedule and apparently I cried a lot. That what was recommended. I was also a small baby 5lb 11oz at birth and probably should have been fed more frequently and definitely on demand.

I think sometimes people get confused during growth spurts and they are crying but they have just been fed. It’s an unhelpful question. Nobody explains growth spurts very well or early feeding signals.

My youngest 2 were fed to a schedule, they were never left to cry. I had older siblings at school and nursery so feeds had to be fitted round school runs. I worked out a plan before they were born, I had to be getting siblings ready by … so bf had to start by .. to have a chance of finishing in time. Sometimes I had to wake babe to fit it in but they soon got the idea.
Then I’d schedule another for 3 hours later etc. Mind you, most of mine are autistic so perhaps they thrived on the routine.

They’ll just fall into a schedule. Mine all ended up doing the 3, 6, 9, 12, 3, 6, 9, 12 feeds weirdly! 4 weeks is still newborn, give it another couple of weeks before trying to steer things a certain way.
Then things will change just once you’ve settled into a schedule and you’ll have to adapt :) and then you’ll start solids and things will change again :) and on and on.

it happens naturally, every 3 hours is about where you'd expect to be at 4 weeks. Before you know it they will be doing 'sleep is growth' stage and you will be wanting to wake them to feed them

I tried to keep to a schedule as much as possible because I had breast fed twins and I wanted to get to a point where I could leave the house for a few hours and not be constantly stopping to feed on demand. I would say that initially they wanted feeding about every 3 hours which I did, but after a few weeks I did use a dummy to gradually stretch times between feeds. So if they cried when it was e.g. 15 mins til their next feed then as long as I couldn’t see any other reason for them crying then I would give them the dummy and this usually settled them. This was the only time they had a dummy but it generally worked. I would never have left them screaming though, when the dummy didn’t work after 5 mins or so I did feed. They gradually went longer - though my son adjusted quicker than my daughter. But the schedule was always something I’d say I aimed towards, it wasn’t something I enforced at the expense of my babies’ welfare.