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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

AIBU to think that watching my ds doing gymnastics at the breast is not the best way to introduce a nervous new mum to breastfeeding?

14 replies

theAfkaUrbanDryad · 16/05/2008 18:24

Someone I know is pg with their first child and really wants to breastfeed, and has asked if they can watch me nurse ds. The trouble is that ds is not the most co-operative nurser and tends to try and stand on his head, or on one leg while while he's nursing.

I don't really think this is the best thing for her to see - nursing a toddler is so very different to nursing a newborn, after all - but how can i tell her this sensitively and suggest alternative things for her to do?

There aren't any breastfeeding support groups near us btw - the nearest one is 20 mins drive away and she doesn't have a car!

OP posts:
Spidermama · 16/05/2008 18:25

As long as you weren't smarting or going 'OUCH!' etc I would think it's quite a nice thing to see.

I never got my specs email btw.

Original poster
theAfkaUrbanDryad · 16/05/2008 18:46

didn't you? I CAT'd you - i think the CAT system is going a bit barmy at the moment. Have you checked your spam?

I think I'm also worried about him pulling my nipple half a mile and even though it doesn't hurt - I can see her looking at it and going "Oh my god - I'll never be able to do that!!"

OP posts:
Swaliswan · 16/05/2008 19:45

I don't think that you are being unreasonable, but, how many other people are going to let this friend watch them nurse? If she doesn't have a chance to watch a younger baby nurse then I think that it would do more harm to refuse than to let her watch. You say that she really wants to breastfeed so I don't think that you will put her off if you explain what your DS is like beforehand. You could also use the opportunity to explain what he is doing differently now to when he was little. I wish that I had the chance to watch someone BFing in RL before having DD. Because it is something that has to be kept discrete in this country it would have been helpful to have privately watched someone and talked to them to know what to expect. I had my whole NCT class watching me BF DD when she was a few weeks old as I was the first to pop and everyone wanted to see 'how it was done'. Shame I feed with a shield.

Spidermama · 16/05/2008 20:50

Luddite alert!

I didn't know I had a spam file 'til just now.

So I clicked on it. Sure enough your message was at the top so I clicked 'This is not spam' then it disappeared and I don't know where it went.

blueshoes · 16/05/2008 21:55

i would be uncomfortable with anyone other than dh and dd watch my ds 1.8 doing acrobatic feeds, much less a newbie bf-ing mother. It is not quite the NCT poster.

Madlentileater · 16/05/2008 22:01

if there's no one else, I'd say go for it, just emphasise how different it is to when your LO was little- compare how different they are in other ways, so naturally theyll feed differently too. If she sees you being comfortable, and knows you have succeeded I think that will be helpful to her. Hope it goes well.

Madlentileater · 16/05/2008 22:01

if there's no one else, I'd say go for it, just emphasise how different it is to when your LO was little- compare how different they are in other ways, so naturally theyll feed differently too. If she sees you being comfortable, and knows you have succeeded I think that will be helpful to her. Hope it goes well.

chipmonkey · 16/05/2008 23:08

Spidermama, it should have gone into your inbox.
UD, I think it is better to let her see you nurse your ds rather than have her see no-one at all nurse before she gives birth. But maybe point her in the direction of some Dr Newman videos as well.

JodieG1 · 16/05/2008 23:15

Ds2 feeds the same, on one leg, stands up in my lap etc, it might be nice for her to see in a way.

Original poster
theAfkaUrbanDryad · 17/05/2008 07:56

i don't have a problem with her watching because i'm modest btw - i'll happily flash a bit of boob in the name of the greater good! I was worried that it would put her off - but you're all right, i'll just explain that ds was very different when he was little.

Would it be weird if i offered to take her to the Baby Cafe? I don't know her that well, really - she's ds' nursery teacher - but she's ever so nice and has been wonderful for ds!

OP posts:
2point4kids · 17/05/2008 08:00

I think it would be lovely if you offered to take her. Especially if you offered to in the context of 'ds feeds very diferently from a newborn, i think you'd get a lot out of going to the baby cafe as well'
Everyone needs a friend like you!

InTheDollshouse · 17/05/2008 10:07

I completely see where you're coming from - DD is having a v acrobatic phase at the moment and it is alarming! - but TBH I think that if you tried to explain, she would imagine something far worse than the reality.

Baby cafe is an excellent idea as well.

meglet · 17/05/2008 19:33

I think it's a good idea. I would have found seeing the realities of bf more useful and resurring than the rose tinted stuff in books and leaflets.

amner · 17/05/2008 19:41

Its quite a good idea. I'm just saying that as I probably would have been mortified myself watching nipple stretching and nosy baby actions

I think just smile serenely throughout the whole acrobatic thing and reinforce how easy it is in the early days.

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