Need encouragement to soldier on

[turtle23]

LO is 7 weeks today and is only BF. He loves it and doesn't even like a bottle of EBM but I am so weary of not getting anything done. I know it's best for him and I always said I'd do at least 4 months, but I spend my whole life BF and the house is a tip. Bully me into sticking with it?

can you bf whilst moving about - hold you little one in one arm in the cradle poistion & then you'll have an arm free.

cups-He's a real wriggler. I have tried carting him around, buthe doesn't stay on unless we're sitting or lying down. DH is constantly having a go at me and I'm cracking.

sorry, am trying to be positive. Is there any such thing as a sling that straps them motionless to the boob while you run about?

you are doing really well
7wks is tiny, it WILL get better and you'll be able to put him down for longer to shower etc
ignore the house if you can, it's not important atm, but if seeing it bothers you force dh to shove all mess somewhere invisible from your favoured feeding spot (or indeed tidy up himself, or pay for a cleaner)

buy food you can prepare and eat with one hand while holding lo to the boob with the other (breakfast was the clincher for me - try bananas, or muffins, croissants etc that don't need buttering)
or cold things you can eat from the fridge like sausages or roast chicken.

You are doing fine, this is the worst bit so hang in there!

DH is having a go at you?!

why?

because the house isn't perfect? make him do it, or make him pay for a cleaner.

First, your DH should be supporting you! Support from partners is REALLY important in the early weeks.

Have you tried a sling? It can kind of keep them in place when latched on so you have your hands free.

And WELL DONE for getting to 7 weeks bf - most women give up in the first 6 weeks so you are doing REALLY well. Has he been feeding more often recently? There's often a big growth spurt at around 6 weeks, but things should then settle down again.

Can you get a cleaner, or family help round the house? Bfing does take up a lot of time but it is worth it

I found it helpful to not think too far ahead: that I would bf this week, and then see how it goes...

Lift him up to the breast - your arms will get stronger and heopefully he'll stop the wriggling around. bf whilst moving really helps me.

sounds like your dh isn't being too supportive - could he do some jobs in the house?

It will get better!!I found mine started feeding slightly less around 10-12 weeks (still loads but at least I had breaks in between when they slept and I could get a few things done).

How long and how often does he feed? Are you sure he's actually feeding all the time or is he just comfort sucking? Have you tried a dummy? My DD3 was incredibly sucky and even though I'm not keen on dummies I needed some time with her off the boob.

you are doing really well 7 weeks is fantastic. i was told by many female relatives that i wouldn't manage bf in the long term because i am very house proud (just call me monica) and i would find it too tying.

proved them wrong now at 6 months exc. bf.

it will settle down i found it sorted itself by 12 weeks into something more manageable.

i also wore a sling (kari-me) and breastfed in that while i got on with stuff. Don't know where i'd be without my sling, probably a gibbering wreck in the corner

anyhoo - ff takes just as long only difference is someone else can do it for you but is there anybody around during the day to take over? There isn;t here just me and dd

i did work dh pretty hard in the first few weeks though - he was very sick of hearing could you just?, and would you mind? after a day at work. also, got my mum round on her afternoon off and supervised a few household duties while i fed lo. learn to take advantage!

turtle, is your other thread also impacting on your thoughts of giving up? Maybe if you link it here people who know more than me can help.

Oh Sidge, I have given up keeping the dummy a secret. I always swore I wouldn't, but DS is so sucky he was giving me love bites!!
DS is very sucky, but also very hungry. He feeds every 3hours for about 30-40 minutes. He is very windy, so takes ages to settle after, that does mean I have 2 hours inbetween feeds, I know. The thing is that I am trying to keep up on paperwork for DH's company, clean the house, eat and sleep. He has started waking a bit between 4 and 6am just to have a quick moan. Doesn't bother him, but I dont sleep after 4am and am comatose after feeds during day. I just need to get organised and motivated to clean when sleepy, I guess.

VS, yes, it doesn't help.
My LO is very windy, I have hideously painful letdown (ok it's only momentary, but I sit with toes curled waiting for it). Have been winging here as well.

Do you REALLY need to clean? Can someone else do the paperwork for a bit?

These are early early days, you should still be resting and recovering not rushing round like a mad woman!

Do you have family or friends nearby? Make use of them - just be cheeky and say 'could you come over and help with X' - I'm sure they wouldn't mind.

at you still doing dh's paperwork
even in the most matleave-stingy countries you'd only just be going back to work, and that'd be with fulltime childcare

if you really can't sleep at 4am is it worth getting up and taking the time, NOT to work or clean, but have a cup of tea and a proper breakfast while you have the chance?

Cleaning should be vital things only - once a day spray and wipe kitchen and once a week spray and wipe bathroom and shove hoover round high-traffic areas. And tbh DH should be pulling his weight on thsi front

Ah OK, his feeding sounds totally normal. LOL at keeping a dummy secret, don't worry you have to do what's right for you! My DD3 was giving me love bites too, my poor nips were purple

Sounds like you have a lot on - I think it is unreasonable of your DH to expect an immaculate house and for you to do the paperwork - something's gotta give. Can you get a cleaner for a couple of months, or get someone else to do the paperwork? Even for a month or two until things settle down a bit.

Wont get started on how I feel about DH's attitude. MIL has offered to do what she can, but is 78 and recovering from hip op. She could feed him but that's about it. My house is fine as far as I'm concerned. But I'm sure it will get easier. Thanks everyone. Really needed a moan and support.

My ds is 6 weeks and much the same (feeding loads, waking at 4, I can't get bac to sleep etc)! I understand what you're going through and feel the same way!

Stay positive, you're doing a great job, and as I keep saying to myself too, it is early days. I tend to have one day out of 3 or 4 when I do a little housework, then that's about it, 3 or 4 days of taking it easy again.

If you think your house is fine (I do mine, too, even though it's a little more chaotic than usual), then stuff what anyone else
says, especially a DH who should be helping you, not criticising you at this point!

You sound worn out and fed-up. I was shocked at how much time you have to give over to breast-feeding at first, my DS still feeds every 2 hours (and that is from the start of one feed to the next ) like clockwork but for shorter periods so it does settle down.

Are you the kind of person who prefers to be busy or do you just feel pressured to be doing things at the mo? I think bfeeding is the best excuse in the world to put your feet up with a cuppa and a good book. What can be more important than growing a boy?! But if you find sitting down frustrating then that is different.

From what my friends say, formula feeding can be just as demanding what with sterilising, making up bottles, babies still want to feed frequently etc so you might be swapping one set of probs for another iyswim.

Hope you feeling better for having a moan, mnet is a lifeline for me.

It really does get easier at 10 - 12 weeks, then you'll be so glad you bf, making up bottles is such a faff, bfing much easier

Greedy...if I had it my way, DS and I would lie in bed all morning feeding and cuddling, have lunch and a walk, then more feeding and cuddling. That way I wouldn't make any mess to clean. The more I try to do the bigger the mess, as I only get halfway thru things. Am feeling much better as I got things of my chest. (pardon the pun)
LO has finished his feed and is sleeping so WILL go tidy now!! lol

turtle DO stay in bed all morning cuddling and feeding - all too soon your ds will be more active and won't want to stay put and you'll wish you'd done it when you had the chance! who cares if you don't get dressed till lunchtime?
and sod the housework (bar the basics) tbh...

Turtle 'your way' sounds very sensible to me. Why shouldn't you have your way? Your baby will be this small only once, now, and no matter how much cleaning you do today it will still need doing the next day, and the day after etc. If you want to BF your baby then do it - looking back in 20 years will you be glad that you BF him, or that your house was clean?

And I bottle fed my son - didn't get any housework done either, except washing and sterilising bottles all flipping day long!

If you can afford it, a cleaner for a few weeks or someone to do the ironing is a big help if you are a clean freak. I had someone for the first 3 months and it was a help. Though TBH I still had to make a big adjustment regarding the state of the house - children come first and always will.

Good luck