Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Went to a breastfeeding picnic yesterday organised by Surestart

13 replies

BouncingTurtle · 14/05/2008 11:25

It was at one of our local parks and had a good turnout!
Pity the weather was a bit rubbish but it stayed dry.
Was attended by a reporter from the local radio station who interviewed several mums. Not me though, missed the opportunity to plug Mumsnet
Did listen to the interviews, and was annoyed with the emphasis of the interviewing was on public breastfeeding and being discreet.
So am writing to them with this comment.

I was at the breastfeeding picnic at R* Park yesterday when one of your reporters was interviewing some of the mums.
I was rather annoyed the line of questioning seem to be about being discreet while breastfeeding. This emphasis on discretion sends entirely the wrong message out - it implies that breastfeeding is still something which is considered shameful, or should be hidden away. It's a bit like saying that it's okay for people to be gay but gay couples can't show affection for each other in public!
I am breastfeeding my 4.5month old, and as much as I would like to ensure I have the minimum amount of flesh on display, that is not my most pressing concern. My most pressing concern is that he is positioned correctly, that we are both comfortable and that he is feeding happily. Unfortunately he does have to habit of pulling at my clothes and pulling off me mid feed to have a look around or up at me. Should I be consigned to a dark room away from everyone in case I inadvertently flash someone?
And I find those most offended by my feeding my hungry baby are those who don't bat an eyelid at skimpily clad young girls out on the town, or topless models in "news"papers.
breastfeeding will never be normalised in this country until this whole "as long as it's discreet" attitude is consigned to the dark ages where it belongs.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Highlander · 14/05/2008 11:32

that's an excellent letter - well done you on taking the time to do it!

(I'm soooooooo lazy)

tiktok · 14/05/2008 11:35

Excellent letter!

You must send it

I suggest that you try to sound a little more conciliatory at the end though.

How about

"It's was good to know [name of station] is interested in supporting mothers and babies like this, though, and maybe next time you will bear my comments in mind."

You could also add,
"if you would like me to contribute to a radio programme sharing these views, I'd be very happy'.

LookingForwardToSummer · 14/05/2008 11:37

spot on imho

BouncingTurtle · 14/05/2008 11:48

Thanks everyone
Yes I have sent the letter now, thanks for your suggestions!
Never used to be so passionate about anything but this is something worth getting passionate about
I'll let you know if I get any response back.

OP posts:
Caz10 · 14/05/2008 11:49

Well done BT great letter!!

susiecutiebananas · 14/05/2008 11:56

Well done for sending it. I have to say, I'm still feeding my 16 month DD. We don't i public, partly becasue she doesn't need to, but mainly as the odd occasion she is really unhappy, and I know it would help, and that she'd want to, I just don't because of the way people view it.

It was so hard, when she absolutely had to feed when we were out. I didn't have a problem with doing it, I didn't have a problem with having a it of flesh o display, I hated my rolls of tummy flopping out though...

I guess now, there are so many things I can give her to 'cheer' her up, or stop the gap between meals when she's obviously peckish.

We feed happily at home, when she asks, and I do refuse her at times. She feeds every mornig when she wakes up, always at bed time, and sometimes at nap time in the day. She will also ask ( general top pulling, saying num nums etc ) at other times. where did she get num nums from? I've never called it that! sorry I digressed hugely.

I just wish it was seen as utterly the norm. Its so sad that it is not. Really p's me off tbh. Well done you for the letter.

BouncingTurtle · 14/05/2008 12:01

Susie - can sympathise with the tummy thing, I actually make more effort to hide my saggy stretch mark covered tummy...

OP posts:
susiecutiebananas · 14/05/2008 12:17

I left a sentence unfinished there... the one that said it was so hard when she was little. The hard bit was finding somewhere comfy, like a cafe, with a seat in the corner so you didn't have to sit i the middle and have the little battle 'to be discreet'. It was other attitudes, people staring etc that got to me. Didn't stop me at all mind you, but I was always so aware.

There are places set aside for nursing mums, but often i the changing room, so invariably smelt of shit! I mean, would the people who designed such places, like to eat in whats basically a toilet?

Whats needed is, firstly a better understanding from every one! ( ha ha ! ) secondly, places which are comfy, clean and access-able. or even in certain large chain coffee shops - ideal places to sit and feed, and places I did indeed do it. They ought to have a policy of some sort, that enable mums to feel able to freely feed at certain points in the shop, not shunned, into corner points, but decent seats, easy to get into to, where you can park the pram etc... and sit and feed. Even maybe a little sign on them saying reserved for r feeding mummys, or, please give this seat priority to br feeding mums... you know, I think that would be a fantastic idea.

freakypenguin · 14/05/2008 12:20
BouncingTurtle · 14/05/2008 12:45

There are some great ideas!
One of the things that was discussed was that the Surestart staff had gone around various different establishments to drum up support and arrange events for National Breastfeeding Week. They got a very warm reception at our local Costa Coffee, and are having a meet there tomorrow. Shame I can't go but I already have plans to visit a friend in another town.
Lots of bfing mums have gone there and never had a problem, lots of very nice comfy seating and a welcoming atmosphere. Mums with babies represent a very significant spending demographic and we are also the most vocal I thinkk about sharing bad experiences. Tesco were very disappointing, the Surestart staff got a very lukewarm reception and related a story about a mum who was asked to leave!!
I myself noted the combined feeding/changing room they seem to have. Yes it was clean and tidy and exactly what I would expect of a changing room, but I certainly wouldn't want to feed my baby there! I'd rather go and sit in my car (which I have done - nice and comfy and I can have the radio on ).
Actually I fed ds on my way back from Essex in the back of DH's car (more room in the back) in a Tesco carpark and in a service station, it was ridiculously hot and I made Dh leave the aircon on (sorry, not very environmentally friendly ) while he went off to the loo. I think some people did notice I was feeding ds, as it wasn't that private but it didn't bother me as I knew there was nowt to see!

OP posts:
susiecutiebananas · 14/05/2008 13:12

oh, I remember that well! feeding in the car, in a service station on the way back home from Manchester, every other weekend, or, down to cornwall a couple of times. My DH used to worry about people seeing, for some reason, which used to really annoy me! He'd park us in a secluded spot, in the shade etc.. or he'd stand by the window whilst I got her on, then sit down. I think he really thought he was helping me...

Never forget the time we were going to suday lunch in a pub, a really lovely family friendly pub. DD woke up and was desperate. He insisted we stay in the car and wait to go in. I could see the tables getting fuller and fuller, and was starving. So I said, i'd just feed her when we got in. We sat in comfy chairs near a fire, he went to the bar, I got her on, she fed like a dream. He eventually said, well I'm glad you didn't need to feed her, I was really worried about you flashing at some poor chap eating his lunch... She was still on, at this time, suckling away, he didn't have a clue! SHould have seen his face when I told him. Funny how you get the art of discretion to a T... just wish you didn't have to.

travelling by train to Manchester was tricky, as I'd put her on the side by the window, then we'd go through a tunnel and everyone cold see it all!!

I miss those days too. I could just pop her on, and she'd be happy for a very long time. now, she gets a little bored after a while, or I do... depending! Its fantastic though, for havig a nap in the afternoon, just lie on the bed together, doze off, with her sucking.

I just wish, as I said, there were better places to go when you are out an about. I'd be so happy if costa coffee or whoever, would be more inviting...

Caz10 · 14/05/2008 13:25

aaah feeding/afternoon naps - what I will miss most about mat leave!

BT please do share the response you get!

Lizzer · 14/05/2008 13:26

BT you've just reminded me that there's a bfing group in a local cafe at 2pm today-better get my skates on!!

(good letter btw )

New posts on this thread. Refresh page