12-Month-Old Refusing Solids! Feeling So Overwhelmed

[Potsy17]

Hi everyone,

I really need some advice and reassurance because I’m feeling completely drained and defeated over my little boy’s eating. He just turned one, and I honestly find myself in tears some days because he refuses to eat most solids. He throws everything—food, spoons, even his water—on the floor, and I feel so frustrated. Not only is he barely eating, but I’m also left with a huge mess to clean up after every meal.

What makes it even harder is that he actually started off really well when we first began weaning. For the first few months, he was trying different foods and seemed to enjoy them. But in the last three months, it’s like he’s completely lost interest. At first, I thought it was due to teething, but even when his teething symptoms eased, his eating didn’t improve.

We’ve mainly done baby-led weaning, but I’ve also tried offering purees and mashed foods to see if that would help, and it doesn’t make a difference. He chews food but then spits it out, especially anything with a tougher texture like chicken, meat, or fish. I don’t know if he physically struggles to swallow some foods or if he’s just refusing.

He will eat a few things, like spaghetti bolognese and certain fruits, and he loves bananas. He’s dairy-free, so his options are already a bit limited, but he will sometimes eat plant-based yogurt.

On top of all this, he’s extremely clingy, making it so hard to cook for him or even do basic household chores. I feel like I never get a break, and then when I finally sit down to feed him, he barely eats and just throws everything on the floor. I always make sure to space out his milk feeds (he’s breastfed) so he’s hungry for solids, and I even tried a whole day without offering milk to see if he’d eat more, but it didn’t make any difference.

I just don’t know what else to do. It’s so exhausting, and I feel like I’m failing. Has anyone else been through this? Does it get better? Any advice or even just reassurance would mean so much right now.

Thank you ❤️

Have you tried sitting him on your lap every time when eating yourself and see if he reaches for it? Cook things you'd be happy for him to eat if he wants it. Take some of the pressure off that way.

I would also reach out to the GP and I don't know if they can put you in touch with a dietician or paedetrician?

It sounds incredibly stressful but likelihood is that it will probably click soon.

@223Sunshine
I have yes. Have also offered him food whilst holding him on my arms as he tends to point and reach for food when he sees it on the kitchen counter but it is no different from him being in his high chair .
GP and health visitor don’t seem too concerned because “ his weight is fine and he looks healthy “ .
Have another appointment later on today,fingers crossed we can get some help !

I see, I hope you get some more help. I did know someone at a baby group who said her older son hadn't taken to solids until around 14 months and was then suddenly ok (but continued to be a bit fussy going forward).

Bumping in case a more knowledgeable poster comes along.

Thank you @223Sunshine

We saw the GP today and were referred to paediatrics so hopefully we can find out if there is something more to it than it just being a phase .

Fingers crossed for you! I feel you on the dairy allergy, mine is also allergic to dairy and, unhelpfully, also eggs and it's incredibly restrictive. If I see another Instagram post with baby food ideas which all involve cheese in one way or another, I will scream.

Check out this website. Might help with strategies and tips.

Factsheets 2.1 2.2 and 2.3

https://infantandtoddlerforum.org/health-and-childcare-professionals/factsheets/

I had one that could only tolerate smooth purees until they were 12 months old. They had undiagnosed Tongue Tie. Does your DS have any of these symptoms?

Keep trying my daughter was like this. Also an allergy baby which does add complexity.
One day at about 13 months she was sat on my knee whilst I was eating and she ate the lot! She started eating a bit better after that but it was still 20 months before she ate enough that we could reduce her formula. Her weight gain slowed massively from 7 months and it was only when she was eating and having formula that she started to gain weight properly again.
It was around 13-15 months that we identified the last of her allergens and that made a big difference. She's 4 now and goes off her food quite easily especially when she's reacting to foods. It might be worth checking for other allergens

@223Sunshine I know right ! Everything has cheese on it . The dairy free substitutes are not that great either. Hopeful that our little ones outgrow their allergies soon .
Thank you @24Dogcuddler Such helpful resources !

@BunnyRuddington I read through the symptoms ,I am sure none apply to him . He breastfeeds quite well and prior to this food refusal he was doing great eating pretty much everything he was offered .
I have offered him puréed food regardless just to check if he would find it easier eating it but no luck 😫

@Superscientist
It’s such a relief to hear that it does get better, even if it takes time. Every mealtime, my optimistic self thinks, this is it, today he will just eat,but we haven’t gotten there yet.
He has been referred to an allergy clinic, so we’ll definitely be checking for other possible allergens. As far as I can tell, he doesn’t seem to have any other allergies, but he does get the occasional rash here and there. That’s exactly how his dairy allergy first presented itself, so who knows,maybe there is something else going on that we haven’t identified yet.

It’s reassuring to hear your little one started eating better in her own time. I really hope we have that moment soon! Thank you for sharing your experience,it makes me feel a little less alone in this.

It’s good that you don’t think he has the symptoms of TT.

Has anyone mentioned the Birmingham Food Refusal Service?

@Potsy17 @BunnyRuddington

Thats where the factsheets originate from. Dr Gillian Harris
Our daughter was seen by Psychologists at the service

See the thing with allergies is he’s probably already figured out that some foods can physically hurt him and become wary of all foods.

Hi, my little one was the same and then at 14 months something just clicked. She now has 3 meals a day she isn’t a big eater but tries some of each meal but a lot does go on the floor. She is also dairy free and I have found she is a lot better on coconut based alternatives I think this is because that was the base of her formula. M&S plant based cheese is made with coconut milk and this is one thing that doesn’t get thrown on the floor. I was so worried about her eating but kept trying and it did just happen organically x

Anxiously waiting on the referrals now ! It does make sense because sometimes he refuses the food as soon as put down ,throws it angrily on the floor. Probably he is wary of all foods . I should have pressed the GP more about his allergy 😓

Hope you get some answers soon. My 3 nephews all had dairy allergy. Oldest two are now really good eaters.
When we eventually saw relevant professionals for our daughter’s extreme food refusal, they gave a possible trigger of a bad vomiting bug when she was just 5 months. She never did transition to different foods and textures when a child but it was linked to her other needs.

@ChateauProvence
Thank you for the M&S cheese suggestion!
We do buy the coconut yogurts,but the cheese has always been some sort of soya product and he doesn’t like it ,i don’t blame him .
Will definitely try the M&S one !
I am glad it got better for your little one ,it is so hard when they don’t eat .

@24Dogcuddler
That is so interesting about your daughter’s food refusal being linked to an early experience like a vomiting bug. I guess there are so many factors that can play into how they take to food.
My firstborn never had any issues with eating, so it honestly never occurred to me that things could go so wrong this time around. It has been such a shock, and I am really struggling with it emotionally.
I wonder how did it go with your nephews dairy allergy eventually? Did they outgrow it?

My first son has several allergies (milk, egg, nuts, fish) and was a woeful eater. Each meal, he'd maybe take 2 bites. The only exception to this was pasta, which he'd sometimes eat a half portion. He also gagged and vomited a lot.

I didn't worry much as he BF constantly and was always on the higher centiles (99th).

I just kept offering a variety and tried not to put any pressure on, or get frustrated at meal times.

His eating naturally got better by about 2, but even now at 5, he prefers to eat smaller portions and has some days where he doesn't eat much. He's a healthy weight and height.

I remember watching a video of a 9 month old eating a bowl of porridge and assuming it was staged because he'd NEVER in a million years have done that.

@Potsy17
My nephews outgrew the allergy it by age 2 and are great eaters.

It is really tough as a Mum especially if your child is refusing food. Often people say their child doesn’t eat, when actually they do eat a variety of things, so that can be frustrating.
Family or friends can blame you or say hurtful things. My DH’s cousin said “ give her to me for a week she will soon eat “

Like yours, our first born didn’t have any issues with weaning. That should indicate that it is nothing that we did or didn’t do.
Try to relax if you can and just remember none of this is your fault at all.
Hope you get some help soon. We saw various professionals over the years.

@simpsonmaggie
Glad to hear your sons eating got better !
My little one is also breastfed and gaining well, so I try to remind myself that he’s still getting what he needs. But it’s so hard not to stress when he barely eats anything at mealtimes. I do my best to stay calm and not pressure him, but some days are really tough—especially with the mess and frustration of it all.

I totally relate to what you said about the video of the baby eating porridge.
My niece whom is only 6 days older than my son stayed over for the week and she spoon feeds her self very calmly a whole bowl of food . I am happy for her but my heart breaks for my little man !

Thank you so much @24Dogcuddler for your kind words!
I hope we have the same outcome in our allergy journey .
That is so true ,It can feel so isolating, especially when others don’t fully understand. I have definitely had comments from family that make me feel like I am doing something wrong, which just adds to the stress. MIL just said the other day something similar,(Give him to me ,I will sort him right out ,I three children none of them had issues with food ) so frustrating!

May our children always be well, happy, and healthy, that’s all that really matters in the end.

@Potsy17
My son was exactly like this. I honestly used to worry myself silly over his eating (or lack of it). I also kept being told his weight and development was fine so not to worry. But at 12 months he wouldn’t touch solid foods. Not even fruit pouches. Only milk. I used to google all the time and got myself so worried.

But! Looking back now, I wasted so much time and energy on worrying about it.
Gradually between 13 and 15 months he started gradually trying more and more food. By 18 months he was eating really well.
He’s now 7 and eats like a horse! He has a good varied diet and likes trying new foods.

So my best advice is to try not to worry and give him more time.
Keep offering the food. And if he refuses just take it away and try again another time. It’s hard and frustrating but he’ll get there!

@Potsy17 just wondering if this has improved? My 12mo started out as a great eater and has gradually eaten less and less, to now where she is refusing anything other than breastmilk (although I think she has been teething the last 2 days). She will generally eat some bites then start spitting out or refusing entirely