Is there any point in trying pumping/breastfeeding again?

[Topumpornotthatisthequestion]

FTM, had a planned c section as baby was breech, he's 3 weeks old today.

Wanted to breastfeed, but it's not worked out. I thought I was open to formula feeding if this happened, but I'm actually really, really gutted about not breastfeeding.
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Had baby assessed for tongue tie by private tongue tie practioner when he was a week old: she said he could have a posterior tongue tie, but it could also be tension, and advised we see cranial osteopath and do some exercises. She said he didn't need a division in her opinion. The cranial osteopath said today at his second appointment that she thinks he has a "faux tie", and if I want to try breastfeeding again it could be possible, but I would need to pump again and it would be hard work.

I did rent a hospital pump for a couple of weeks, but it was too much pumping every three hours while also looking after a newborn, and I stopped early last week. I don't have any family support and my partner has had to work throughout. My baby was very sleepy at first and lost weight, and feeds took over an hour. He's feeding way more often now from the bottle and putting weight on.

Now I'm regretting stopping pumping and wondering if I should buy my own and try again.

Has anyone managed to get their baby to latch on after 3 weeks or more?

I feel like I'm going round in circles a bit. I have reached out to a lactation consultant and to the breastfeeding counsellor from my NCT class, but haven't had a response. The local breastfeeding groups here don't meet for another couple of weeks.

I guess what I am asking is is there any hope? Would pumping every three hours be possible or soul destroying? I couldn't pick my baby up while I was plugged into the hospital grade pump, and apparently wearable ones are no good unless you've already got a supply going?

One of my friends said to go for it as breastfeeding is amazing, another one said to let it go and save my sanity as pumping is draining. Not sure what I should do.

Perhaps give it a try and see how you get on. Even if you gave some expressed milk and some formula every bit of breast milk is beneficial. Congratulations on your lovely baby.

Yes it is possible but it won’t be easy to build up your supply again. You need proper advice on how to do this and to be very motivated.

Here’s an overview from a site that has good advice. I’m not in the UK but if there is any phone or in person support / do reach out, you will need guidance on this but I have seen people do it successfully.

kellymom.com/bf/got-milk/relactation/

@Odras in your experience how long does it take to build supply? I guess everyone is different.

I'm really not looking after myself very well atm, only eating two meals a day and not drinking much, so know I would need to change that.

I need more hours in the day or some help. So jealous of people who have family support.

can you have someone come & stay for you to look after everything so you can fully focus on it? I stopped breastfeeding at day 4, went to mix of pumping & formula and then started breastfeeding again at day 10 and by 6 weeks was EBF. I had no issues with latching after this point except I found it extremely painful. This did decrease in time.

focus on eating a lot yourself and drinking loads! Then looooads of skin to skin with baby on your chest. I personally offered a breastfeed every time & when LO was done, I pumped & gave her the milk from last pumping session to top up. After a few days, she didn’t need the extra. The pumping signalled to my body to make more I think.

Good luck!! I totally understand how devastating & painful it feels to not be breastfeeding even when you thought you were ok with formula!! You are doing an amazing thing & I’m sure you’ll be grand. But I also want to say that formula is completely fine. Any breastmilk baby has is a good thing + any time baby spends on your chest is a good thing. But please don’t be disheartened.

Soak up these newborn days- brutal as they are- I’m 6 months postpartum (also c section) and although they were horrendously difficult in some ways, I find myself pining for a newborn snuggle where LO falls asleep on me. But I know how hard those early days are, so take heart that they pass quickly! Xxx

I had a nightmare with bf and having different advice from everyone single person I saw (13 different people, 13 sets of advice). Pumping was terrible for me, it took over half an hour of constant pumping to cover the bottom of the bottle. Ended up in hospital with ds at 4 weeks failing to thrive. Did mixed feeding for a few weeks which at least was calm. Finally saw a very experienced midwife at 11 weeks who showed me a photo of how to latch and I realised I'd never done it right from the beginning. I started my first ever thread on here with plans to try relactating from then. I kept mixed feeding with lots and lots of focus on bf, but as soon as I actually tried reducing formula, ds started losing weight again. At that point I gave up. But at least I felt a little bit more in control of the decision.

At this distance (ds is 21 and as fit as a butcher's dog) I'd say be kind to yourself above all - you and your wellbeing are extremely important however you feed your baby. But I do know what it's like to feel like I'd failed. I don't regret doing the mixed feeding. What about just doing that for a while? See how you get on?

Slightly different situation but I had to re-build my supply again when baby was 5 months old and I saw a breastfeeding consultant at the hospital. I had to mimick the cluster feeds that usually happen in first week or so with a pump in between normal feeds with baby. If I remember correctly I was pumping for around 45 mins 3 x a day to build supply up! It worked and I bf for 14 months in total.

My supply completely dwindled when I went back on the contraceptive pill.

Using a shield can be a good way of getting a baby to latch after a break as it's similar to the bottle. Try bringing the baby to the breast as they wake up and they may just latch on without really realising. I would focus on getting them to latch in the first instance, not so much to feed (so no pressure) but to get comfort and build your confidence. If your supply needs building up by pumping your baby at the start won't be able to get much so if you put them to the breast hungry they can get frustrated.

Do call the NCT breastfeeding line, it's open 8am till midnight every day of the year. You can talk it through with a trained breastfeeding counsellor who is paid to take your call. I am a bfc myself.
0300 330 0700 (option 1)

I am not a professional. I was a volunteer support for new breastfeeding mums. Honestly it is difficult and different for everyone but where there is a will there is a way and it’s a lot about believing in what you are doing.

I would clear two weeks (in your mind) to really concentrate on getting it off the ground. Your biggest challenge is the baby wasn’t on the breast. In my limited and unprofessional experience sometimes using nipple shields can help here. They are a last resorts but they can get bottle fed babies to the breast in my opinion. But this is where you have you get some professional advice. It will be more difficult and more miserable to build supply solely by a pump.

You can absolutely get your milk supply back if you stopped only last week. Your baby is still very small so everything is on your side. If you can afford to hire a Lacation consultant then please do. It will make a huge difference.

Just to add, you don't need to sterilise pumps at each express. The advice is variable (as with everything to do with babies!) I suggest you put the pump parts in a clean plastic bag after use and put the bag in the fridge, bm is very stable. Then wash with soapy water every 24hrs and sterilise. This method encourages you to express a little bit here and there when you can which will stimulate your supply more.
We do zoom calls for mums as well as face to face, I don't know if that happens in your area.

Honestly nobody will be able to give a
definitive answer here. The work in breast feeding is front-loaded, so that work at the start can be worth it. Saying “breastfeeding is amazing” is very easy but it rarely an amazing experience at the start. It is work and can be very difficult especially when you are stuck pumping. And obviously you should not go mad.

I’ve seen women latch babies on after months. I’ve seen them pump for a year. I’d one contact who breastfed with nipple shields for 18 months. So it’s all possible but nobody can tell you what to do because nobody is in your shoes.

if you want to do it clear two weeks to dedicate to it entirely and take it from there

Thanks for your replies.

I know that pumping won't work. I have no time as it is with looking after my baby. He barely slept last night. The suggestions to have someone stay to help, I really wish this was an option. No idea how people have more than one baby.

Feel guilty and like I've messed up being his mum already. Also feel like I've lost any confidence. Hate having to prepare and give him a bottle when he is crying, it feels unnatural. I'm also stressing about how much formula he is drinking and his weight, so even if I could relactate, I don't think I would trust to actually feed him.

I'm looking at breastfeeding as being amazing and easy, but logically I know that that isn't the case for most people.

Hope the guilt eases up one day.

Have you looked at the Kellymom website? They have some good advice about relactating on there. Also look up power pumping in the early evening to mimic cluster feeding. You can also rent a hospital grade Medela Symphony pump from their website do you dont need to buy your own one.

I did 3 hourly pumping when DD1 was in NICU and to try and sort my supply after she was discharged. I did find it extremely difficult but I felt I had to try everything. I'd say if you are going to do it, set yourself a time limit (say 2 weeks) and if you arent making progress, then think about stopping. My error was letting it go on for so long that it really affected my MH.

It’ll be hard and you have to stick to it. Pumping every 2 (not 3) hours is essential- I’ve been where you are and found it so hard. I’m now 8 months EBF. I used pumping to get supply up, always latched to practise, as baby got bigger, latching was easier

@inquisitivemind

How old was your baby when they latched on? He has never really latched on, only with a nipple shield in hospital and then I got told not to use it.

@CrispAppleStrudels would you pump again? Or was it too much on your mental health?

I already rented a hospital grade pump, I just really struggled to use it consistently while looking after my baby, especially as he lost weight so needed (and still needs) to be fed regularly.

I have looked at the Kellymom website. Makes me feel more guilty for stopping.

So I was asked to pump again for DD2 and I declined. I said I would do one session of power pumping each evening, plus a 3am pump to maximise the prolactin. I put her to the breast for every feed and then just gave formula top ups afterwards. We did that for 9months. Obviously im unsure what the bf / formula ratio ended up being, but i felt that was the best i could offer, especially with a toddler to look after as well. There were a couple of differences though - DD1 was 0.4th centile so I really felt the pressure to get her weight up, DD2 is pretty consistently around 25th, and DD2 had an undiagnosed tongue tie so when that was sorted around 8weeks, it obviously helped as well.

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. Your baby is loved and fed and cared for. Guilt and motherhood always seem to go hand in hand. You always feel like you can be doing better or doing more but it’s not a helpful emotion.

Yes midwives can be very against nipple shields but ultimately if it is the only way to latch them on then it’s the only solution.

I’m trying to do this now at 3 months. I stopped when I was put on antibiotics. Did you get much milk during your pumping sessions? Also how long did you have to pump (days,weeks) before it came back? Did you put baby on the boob during this time?