Struggling with painful breastfeeding

[Suzisushka]

Hi everyone,

I’m struggling with painful breastfeeding and could really use some advice. This is my second baby, she is 12 days old, and while I have a good milk supply this time (compared to my first), the pain is quite strong.

With my first child, I breastfed for two years but always found it painful—he would bite, and my nipples were constantly sore. Now, I’m experiencing similar pain again. A nursery nurse visited today and gave some advice, including massaging the breasts before feeding to bring the milk forward so that the baby doesn’t bite at the start. However, she didn’t explain how to do the massage properly, so I just tried on my own, and it didn’t seem to help. If anyone knows how to do this correctly, I’d love some guidance (maybe a good video link?).

I’ve tried:

• Silver nipple shields – but they don’t seem to help, maybe even making things worse.
• Nipple guards – they reduce pain but the nursery nurse warned they might decrease my milk supply.
• Hydrogel pads – they bring some relief but don’t fully solve the problem.
• Expressing milk – this is much less painful for me, so I don’t mind doing it, but I’ve noticed that I can express less now than I could a couple of days ago. It takes about 12 minutes to get 50ml, which feels quite difficult. The nursery nurse also said expressing could reduce my overall milk supply, so I’m unsure if I should rely on it too much.

Another possible issue is that my baby wants to feed very often—sometimes every hour. Could it help if I tried to space out feeds a bit more? Has anyone had success with this approach?

Finally, are there any breastfeeding specialists in London that you’d recommend for one-on-one help?

I’d really appreciate any advice or suggestions!

Could it be a tongue tie, I wonder?

That would be my guess.

Sounds like the latch isn’t quite right. That said I’ve never bought the whole thing that breastfeeding should be pain free if it’s done right, with both of mine I found it painful to start with and then it got easier.

I used nipple shields for a bit and didn’t find they impacted my supply, feeds just took longer.

I would recommend calling the breastfeeding support network, I honestly can’t remember the specific advice they gave me but I do remember them being so helpful when I was struggling with pain second time around.

Congratulations on your new baby and I hope the pain eases soon.

Nipple pain with newborns is very often latch related, you need a deeper latch. Tips here including videos.
https://breastfeeding.support/latching-tips/

And a good one on this page
https://www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/baby-friendly-resources/breastfeeding-resources/positioning-and-attachment-video/

No need for massage before a feed. You can ask for referral to local specialist team or if you want someone private you can look here.

https://lcgb.org/find-an-ibclc/

In fact, the nursery nurse said there is no tongue tie...

It's unlikely a nursery nurse is qualified to properly assess a tongue tie.

I was also told incorrectly by a midwife that my eldest did not have a tongue tie and it sabotaged my breastfeeding experience with him.

You can search for someone who is qualified to assess a tongue tie here with both private and nhs options listed.

www.tongue-tie.org.uk/find-a-practitioner

Thanks a lot, that's interesting! Do you think a GP would be able to assess a tongue tie? Or maybe they can give me a referral to one of such practitioners?

Lansinoh may help.

I was shocked by how much breast goes in their mouths for a proper latch, had a great nhs cd showing how to latch correctly- it’ll be on line now. You could dunk breasts in sink of warm water before feed and massage gently from ribs and chest forward to nipples

Most "professionals" on breastfeeding, including NHS midwives are not fully trained in tongue tie. Both my daughters had it and it got missed with both. Arrange for a board certified lactation consultant to come out, it'll be a game changer I promise you - they're worth their weight in gold x

Very unlikely a GP will have a clue. Most are even more clueless than the majority of midwives and health visitors unfortunately. Some even believe it’s not a real thing. It would just be luck of the draw if you found one knowledgeable in it who would refer you and it depends what services are available in your area. Does the hospital you gave birth in have an infant feeding team? In our local hospital they are trained to assess and divide tongue ties.

The link I shared has a search function where you can look what services are available near you.

Some IBCLCs (certified lactation consultants) are also able to divide tongue ties but not all. They would certainly be able to advise if they thought you should seek a specialist opinion on it though and would be able to help with optimising baby’s latch.

Breastfeeding my eldest was excruciating no matter what I did to his latch and I had his tongue tie divided too late thanks to rubbish nhs midwife telling me he didn’t have one (she was untrained in this and had no business telling me that he didn’t have one). I’ve had two more babies since and breastfed them both easily. One had their tongue tie divided and one has one but it is less severe so I didn’t have it divided in the end. We monitored his feeding and his weight gain and all was fine so left it alone. But with my next babies I knew where to get their tongue ties assessed early on.

Many healthcare professionals will confidently offer an opinion on whether your baby does or does not have a tongue tie despite having zero training in the field (such as the nursery nurse you have already come across). You cannot assess a tongue tie just by looking at it, it needs someone who knows what they are doing to assess your babies oral function. A tie can appear ‘mild’ and yet babies can actually barely move their tongue and vice versa. It’s outrageous really as they would never look at a mole you were worried about and confidently tell you it’s fine. You would be referred to an appropriate specialist to assess it. It should be the same for tongue ties.

Also it’s important to be aware that not all babies present with typical symptoms. For example, in some areas NHS won’t divide a tongue tie if the baby is gaining weight. But in my case my baby was piling on weight at an alarming rate and I was battling a serious oversupply causing me all sorts of issues. This is more unusual than a baby struggling to gain weight but it’s certainly still a known issue with tongue ties. Hence why you need to see someone who actually understands tongue ties so you aren’t wrongly fobbed off.

Thanks a lot for both answers! I found the following practitioner not very far from me, using your link: https://www.doctify.com/uk/specialist/sharon-silberstein . They seem to have totally stellar reviews, I wonder, should I try to see them? In the end it's possible that my DD doesn't have a tongue tie (since midwifes and the nursery nurse say so), but possibly this consultant can give some other useful advice...

They're a board certified lactation consultant so I'd definitely go for it! They can really help even with no tongue tie :)

Wishing you all the best with your breastfeeding journey x

Best of luck with your breastfeeding journey OP, I hope you are able to find someone knowledgeable to help you! Getting in touch with that IBCLC sounds like a great plan.

Having a look for some local in person support groups might be a good idea too? They are obviously not as specialised as an IBCLC (which is the highest qualification someone can have in infant feeding) but they still offer invaluable emotional support and it can be lovely to meet other women who understand as extra support?

There's also the national breastfeeding helpline which offers free advice from fully trained breastfeeding counsellors.

I have always found breast feeding in the beginning to be a bit painful until baby gets older and their mouth is bigger. I had the latch checked by midwives and health visitors and was told it was fine but it still hurt until they were a bit older.
I didnt find spacing out the feeds helped, both my babies wanted to feed every hour as well but all the feeding really helped my milk supply so I just kept feeding as much as possible in the beginning. It did get much easier after the first month or 2.