Is exclusively breastfeeding possible for me?

[Orlahoping]

I really want to EBF but have had a tricky start with my 5 week old baby who I am currently combi feeding.

He struggled to latch from the very start and for the first couple of days I was mostly syringe feeding harvested colostrum. He would latch, poorly, occasionally.

He lost 13% of his birth weight by day 5, which led to a crazy feeding plan with formula top ups and me pumping as much as I can.

A tongue tie was found and cut at day 17. It hasn't really changed much.

We are using nipple shields now, which enable him to feed but we are still topping up with formula because I am too scared to stop in case his weight drops again. He's above birth weight, but only just and it was slow progress getting there even with formula top ups.

My pumping output is dreadful which makes me fear for my supply. He is often frustrated at my breast and screams.

I have seen 3 lactation consultants and go to a weekly breastfeeding support group. In all cases he feeds like an angel, sometimes even without nipple shields. But when it is just him and me it's often a struggle.

I am not sure how to figure out if I have a supply issue, how to wean off formula and how to make sure he is getting enough milk with the shields, which I don't want to use forever.

I had a very difficult pregnancy and was really hoping that breastfeeding would be a nice healing experience...but I just feel despondent and sad that I don't seem able to make it work.

Kindly, I suspect how you are feeling e.g. putting yourself under pressure is affecting the feeding. Have you got a bath? If so bathe together skin to skin. Spend the weekend as much as you can in continued skin to skin, letting him feed as much as he wants, particularly at night. This will increase your supply which will have been affected by giving formula. It’s not too late though. Plenty of oat based snacks (for you) will help your supply too. Most importantly, relax. That’ll get the oxytocin flowing. Good luck.

I think you're right. Luckily I have only me and him to focus on so we have already been spending lots of skin to skin time. I might be trying too hard... though possibly i'm not quite eating enough. It's just hard to feel brave enough to cut out the formula as he seems so hungry in the evenings...my boobs just stop producing anything (even when squeezing in a hot shower).

Firstly sending all the love, I have been almost exactly where you are. Baby also lost 13% birth weight, tongue tie was cut at 9 days old and I had to breastfeed as well as express and top up, although never added in the formula. I completely get the worry of losing again - we bought baby scales and used to weigh her every two days before her bath to make sure she was still gaining even after we were discharged from the 48 hourly weighings from the midwives and health visitor - I was also too scared to stop waking her in the night to feed until she was almost three months old! What is your pumping output? Mine was about 2oz (although haven’t done it since she was 2-3 weeks old), she’s now 17 weeks gaining weight perfect although I also was worried I wasn’t pumping enough. I was reassured constantly that baby can get more out than a pump can. What really boosted my supply was oats, and using a milk catcher on the opposite side while she was feeding. I only did this on the second feed of the day and I’d get about 2oz just in that & definitely noticed feeling fuller more often. Defo recommend the tommee tippee one - tried the haakaa ladybug and honestly personally found tommee tippee so much better as could get stronger suction. Also look up power pumping, I never tried it but heard really good things. Hugs xx

@megthemum thank you for your message. It's hard isn't it? I have tried 4 different pumps and get 2oz on a really good day, usually 1oz. Just hoping it's true he gets more than the pump can.

So hard! But you’ve got this. 2oz per session is what I got, definitely try power pumping and the milk catcher if you’re not sure still that he’s getting enough. But I promise it does get easier, I know that’s easier said than believing right now but I remember being exactly where you were and I promise it gets easier! You got this mama. Keep us updated xx

Sounds like you're doing a wonderful job op. Could the screaming at the breast be purple crying or cluster feeding? I remember in the early weeks ds2 would do a couple of sucks, scream, switch breast and repeat for hours. He was exclusively breast fed but the evenings and nights were torture. He lost a lot of weight in the first week but then slowly and consistently gained afterwards.

Ds1 could not feed from the breast and I drove myself demented trying to pump and get milk out of myself. I gave up at 6 months and honestly I wish I had done sooner, it was all consuming and mentally exhausting.

Basically I guess, try what you're willing but don't drown your precious first months in anxiety and obsession of the breast. In the future it really won't be all it is now.

As a PP said, I had exactly the same with my son and went on to exclusively BF for two years after triple feeding for three months. I maintained the pumping, lots of cuddles and skin to skin and I found that watching a YouTube video every time I latched him at home really useful. Like you he was great at groups either help to latch but at home I needed to see it in the video and replicate it each time until it became second nature. Every time they latch wrong just a little finger in the corner of their mouth to unlatch them and go again until they are on correctly