How to Stop BFing

[Keggles36]

I've posted a lot recently and I'm sorry, but I've come to the realisation breastfeeding is just making me miserable. I hate that she doesn't get enough from me, I hate that I have to express and top up, I hate that I keep getting engorged and vasoconstricted, I hate waking up covered in milk with rock hard agonising breasts. I'm just miserable. I seem to have lots of milk but she doesn't manage to feed well or gain properly even after tongue tie division, lactation consultants etc

She was such a longed for IVF baby and feeding is making me hate being a mum.

I want to switch to formula but I don't know how?? I have cut out pumping first, and removed one feed but I just get engorged and it hurts. If one feed is this painful how will I cut them all out??

Sounds like you're very early on, how old is she? How many/ when are her feeds?

Boobs are supply and demand so just slowly drop the pumping and then less and less feeds, maybe start by dropping the night ones and just switching to formula if she already takes it?

Nice and slow though as mastitis and clogged ducts are awful!

@RabbitsEatPancakes she's 7 weeks. I feel like such a failure but I'm just miserable and have been since day 12 when she stopped gaining adequate weight. I want to be present for her, not just dreading the next feed.

First of all you're not a failure.
Practically, as others have said BF is supply and demand. If your baby is happy to switch between breast and formula, reduce gradually. So start each feed with taking a little from each breast (to stop the hard/full feeling) and then take the rest of the feed from formula.
Don't stress about how much baby is eating - just get regular-ish weigh ins.
If baby won't move easily between the two, switch fully to bottle feeding but express when you feel full - you can just pop the expressed milk into the bottle as a bonus.

When you're feeling engorged and sore, try a hot shower and hand expressing. Try not to pump any more unless baby is not taking any milk at all. A cabbage leaf in the bra also really helps - I thought this was an old wives tale but it definitely provided some relief for me.

As others have said - slowly slowly. You don't have to cut out full feeds straight away. Offer breast first to take the edge off then switch to bottle - shorten the amount of time on the breast gradually.

Most of all - I vividly remember that awful feeling of having failed. So much of it is tied up with hormones. Don't let this ruin your early days with your gorgeous baby - it really is so inconsequential in the grand scheme of things. You've done amazingly to make it to 7 weeks and tried all the things you've tried - many don't get that far.

You are definitely not failing OP. You've come on here asking for the best way to go about transitioning her to formula which shows that you are invested in her welfare.

I'd suggest calling one of the Breastfeeding Helplines.

The BFC can talk you through how to move over to FFing, how to reduce engorgement in the meantime and most importantly, your feelings about stopping BFing