Laryngomalacia, breastfeeding, feel like giving up.

[JustMePlus3]

My daughter been diagnosed with laryngomalacia, and I'm close to breaking point.

Shes 5 weeks old and the cycle we're in at the moment is

Try's to feed chokes/swallows to much air
Screams and cries & pulls on and off the breast and gets herself so worked up to the point she exhausts herself and falls asleep. Then wakes up and the whole process starts again.

I'm mentally exhausted, I feel like there's nothing I can do to help her discomfort, I feel evil when I'm feeding her like I'm inflicting this discomfort to n her and at the point I'm debating swapping her to formula, it will break my heart but I just can't see any other way at the minute all she does is scream and cry and squirm in discomfort.
I just don't know what to do, at this point I'm just crying with her 😢💔

I’m sorry but I don’t know about your daughters condition. I’ll have to google it later.

If what you’re doing isn’t working for either of you, why keep doing it?
You're both unhappy and uncomfortable, and there’s a perfectly good alternative. Don’t beat yourself up when you’ve done your best.

Please talk to your health visitor if things don’t improve.
I had a quick google and I see there are quite simple things to try, such as thickening the formula and giving antacids.
If you’re not getting enough sleep, you can’t function properly.
If giving formula will help your baby to get enough milk, and you to get enough sleep, honestly, just do it.

Ah I feel for you. My son struggled as he had this and made weird noises that stressed me out. She should get better as she gets bigger. I tried the bottle but he hated that too. And breastfeeding always hurt me - even on my second child who didnt have this. I'm afraid it just took time with him until he got older. Breastfeeding can be bloody hard and this issue complicates it.

Talk to your midwide/healthcare professional about breastfeeding help, you may find there is a technique that helps - like both of you lying down to feed.

If she does take the bottle you can always try pumping instead of formula to see if that's works first before going straight to formula in case the issue is resolved by using the teat of the bottle.

You have my sympathy.

Hello. That sounds really challenging, well done for persisting this far. No wonder you're exhausted!

Have you tried starting feeds off with some expressed milk/formula in a bottle to take the edge off her hunger and then switch to breastfeeding? She might be more calm and less likely to choke? I combi fed my first for a couple of months (small amounts of formula while also expressing), but then was able to switch fully to bf by 4m. So doing some bottle feeding now doesn't mean you have to give up BF entirely if you don't want to, as long as you keep your supply.

Having said that, it's ok to switch to formula. It really is xx

I breastfed my son until he was around 8 months old and I felt it really created a beautiful bond between us and regretted not continuing until 12 months so was really looking forward to the sort of journey and going the full Monty this time around so formula and bottles really isn't something I want to do and it's a shame because it started of so well,
The only thing that seems to work at the moment is side laying position while dream feeding, once she's awake she gets herself in such a state it's heart breaking, I'm really hoping things improve soon as I feel it's effecting us both so much it's awful, just waiting on the paediatrician getting back to us with an appointment to discuss things further, I really hope I don't have to give up breastfeeding completely, I'm gonna try the suggestion of giving a little bit in a bottle first if she'll take to it and see how we get on, thank you 🤞

Yep it's awful and frustrating when they won't settle and just drink steadily... my 4m old DD still gets pissed off if I don't let down as fast as she'd like. I'm like stop crying and suck, you silly sausage!

In the end I breastfed my DS until he was almost 2. It didn't matter a bit that we'd used a bottle, shields and a little formula too during the first months. His first week was tube feeding in hospital! So it really doesn't have to be all or nothing to begin with 🙂

If you really don't want to use bottles, how about giving a bit of expressed milk in a syringe first? You could try a colostrum syringe or even just a well cleaned Calpol syringe? With DD I gave her some expressed colostrum in a syringe if she was being really fussy. It seemed to settle her.

Hang in there!

Do you possibly have an overactive let down?
I would express some before feed or unlatch as let down of milk happens then once slows relatch. No harm in giving it a try.
My let down took best part of 6 months to regulate which is unusual! I had to have a muslin cloth ready to catch let down for most feeds then baby fed happily x

My son has laryngomalacia, although it's sound like not as bad as your daughter, he also had tongue tie and couldn't breastfeed. The laryngomalacia also affected bottle feeding so it's not necessarily a solution. He's now 3 months and fully breastfeeding and doing well with it so perseverance can work and the laryngomalacia improves with time.

It's definitely really tough and you are doing amazingly. If you want to keep breastfeeding I think you'll get there. You said side laying works so maybe try that when you can, set up a pillow for yourself on the floor or playmate and lay and feed there. As pps have said talk to your HV. Also look into breastfeeding support groups, they can help trying different positions that might help and it also helpful to have in person support.

@AspieMumma are you still breastfeeding? My little ones 13 weeks now we're still trying so hard but it seems she may have an aversion to it now, she's point blank refusing a lot of feeds, saw the health visitor today and got her weighed and she's following fine for weight gain but every feeds a fight to get her to have a decent feed, if I left her to it she'll go hours without, im so disappointed and at a loss to what to do, everyone seems to suggest different things but nothings working ☹️

When you say decent feed is it time your worried about?
My baby has never fed more then 5-7 minutes one breast per feed. We’re at z9 months old now and that’s always been our normal x

Your doing amazing if baby isn’t sat crying for food and baby’s weight is fine your baby’s getting plenty xx

@Dfjacksonyeah that’s the same for us, every 2-3 hours, she wants to feed more she’ll keep trying but the second she latches she starts passing wind which makes her scream, she still hasn’t gasped how to release her wind and stools yet so it’s still causing her a lot of discomfort, really hoping she figures it out soon as I don’t want her to associate feeding with discomfort, well done for 9 months I really hope we make it that far

@JustMePlus3 that sounds tough! We are still breastfeeding! He doesn't feed as much as my first which sometimes worries me but I'm learning him. If she's meeting the weights and the HV doesn't seem concerned then you are doing so well! Sometimes my lo will scream and arch his back when I try and feed him. I will walk around and try and burp him to get it out, I'll give it a while, and when he's calm Ill feed him again. If I'm too worked up I'll give him to his dad so I can calm down. He also doesn't feed for long unless he's feeding to sleep when he stays latch for a little while. Honestly they can sometimes get milk out really quick. Is she actively feeding when she is on? Like seeing or hearing swallows ? Is she having any bottles or just breast ?

Sometimes at around 3/4 months when they realise that they are separate from you they can have issues feeding and then settle down. Does your HVs have an infant feeding team that could come and see you and address any concerns you have?

@AspieMummayeah I hear her gulping away, we went to see the gp today & she’s given her some laxido & some omprezole to try, hopefully that helps, if not we’ve also had a referral to the paediatrician, hoping to get in contact with the infant feeding team tomorrow for some extra support, just reminding myself to take some deep breaths and keep pushing through 😮‍💨