Don't know what to do - EBF for 8 days, not working

[Mulberryxx]

Hi! So new mum here, my baby boy is 8 days old. We have been exclusively breastfeeding which we has felt very natural to begin with - no issues. My mental health has not been great and the constant cluster feeding/ demanding aspect of breastfeeding has really gotten to me. Everything is just taking its toll as Ive been having next to no sleep for 8 days now after a surprise c-section, and recovering from that. Through the night particularly he can be wanting me every hour (I know this is normal cluster feeding), however sometimes just latches I'll just suckle a little for comfort and instantly falls asleep - even with me prompting him to keep feeding. Last night he was on for minimum 20/25 mins every feed every hour roughly. My partner and I always talked about combination feeding (formula & breastfeeding) but was told to wait till at least 3 weeks. Was also told it will confuse him. I'm just wondering if whether I do a couple of breastfeeds through the day to keep my supply up and him have a comfort - if he will expect solely this at night for comfort and I'll be stuck cluster feeding again all night. Today I have fed him this morning by breast and since then he's had 2 ready made formula bottles which he has taken to and enjoyed. People around me say to completely do one or the other however he is not very happy right now and is rooting for the breast, I think for comfort. I don't want to pump as I don't see the point in this. I'm really just not sure what to do and my mental health is really taking a hit with so much right now I can't put myself through much more. Any help/ advice/ experiences people can share would be much appreciated! ❤️❤️❤️

It’s really early days and new borns are learning how to bf. Is there a bf support group in your area often found on Facebook
You are in the hardest bit, recovery from a cs is tough especially after a labour (worst of both worlds) and really all you need to do is sit on the sofa and eat drink and cuddle feed baby all day. Maybe the odd nap
If you are going to give the odd bottle do not make it in the middle of the night as that’s the important time to feed for milk production.
If your DH is at home it’s lovely to bf in the bath with baby but you need someone to pass you the baby and then take it back off when you want to get out.
Pick either an early morning feed or an evening feed to replace with a bottle and you try and sleep then.
My babies had different issues and both had to have some top ups from a few days old and one had a dummy from a week old. After a few weeks the bottle feeds were dropped and they were just bf. Mainly because I’m lazy
BF is tough for the first 6 weeks but it is so easy after that

Cluster feeding is normal and it’s a way of increasing your supply
You could try a dummy for the comfort sucking. I used the Mam ones

Hello there and congratulations!!

This was a good 10 years ago for me, but I didn’t want to leave you hanging! I combination fed from about a week old until about 6 weeks until my milk slowed down and she didn’t seem to be bothered that much. She wasn’t confused, just happier with the bottle.

However we introduced the bottle initially as she wasn’t putting on weight as she should have done, so maybe it just wasn’t working for us. She seemed greatly relieved by the bottle.

Whatever gets you through right now would be best. If the bottle makes him more satisfied then maybe he is finding feeding difficult. A tongue-tie maybe?

But I guess that if the bottle makes him sleep, then it would make more sense to use the bottle in the night to get you more sleep and get him to realise that the night is for sleeping. Then you have the strength and ability to allow more BF during the day.

Also do consult the feeding clinics and support in your area. Don’t go alone if you don’t think you can handle it. Ask your partner to go with you if it all seems too much to handle right now.

Good Luck!

Do you want to continue breastfeeding long-term? (Ie until weaning)

Only bf twice a day will probably not increase your supply enough to do this. And at 8 days your supply will be low and unstable, hence baby feeding frequently to increase it. I imagine you'll end up with loosing your supply if you don't feed enough. At this early starge, the most I'd be willing to do is one supplemental ff, if required for baby's weight gain.

Your milk production hormones peak around 2am hence feeding overnight is key early on.

Ask your midwife to refer you to the infant feeding team, they will be better placed to help

I combi fed from birth and ended up EBF once we'd got past the cluster feed nightmare stage. What I used to do was allow cluster feeding in the evening until 9/10pm, then DH would take over with a big bottle (sometimes expressed, sometimes formula) and a dummy. At that point I was hot footing it up to bed for a couple of hours decent sleep, before starting up again around midnight -3am (depending on when bottle was utilised and baby would wake up!) I do feel we really underplay how important rest and recovery is to a new mum, especially when you are recovering from surgery. You need to be cared for too, so do what you need to do, and don't worry about it.

I did something very similar to this from day 2. If you try to stick to just one or two bottles per day, and everything else direct from the breast, you'll be ok - whether you want to go EBF or full formula. If you decide to go for combi feeding, do as PP said and use it to let you go to bed!

The early weeks are really hard whilst you build up your supply and baby learns to latch properly etc, but if you can get through them then it gets SO much easier. My little one is now such an efficient feeder and it's so easy and comforts him so well!

As a previous poster mentioned, your supply at this point is fragile and only breastfeeding a couple of times per day is unlikely to maintain it, especially if not feeding at least once in the night. Nighttime/very early morning feeds are so important for supply.

I would ask to be seen by your local infant feeding support team if you haven't already to ensure that positioning and latch are good and there are no issues with poor milk transfer.

In terms of trying to keep the baby actively feeding rather than falling asleep and coming off of the breast before a full feed, I would really recommend doing breast compressions throughout the feed. This helps to keep baby interested as the flow is better so can be really helpful for sleepy newborns. I think La Leche League UK have some info on how to do them on their website and probably other places do as well.