Irrational fear and I feel sick about it

[ForAquaGuide]

My little one is now 6 weeks old and after feeding her last night I was able to successfully pump 4oz after putting her down.

The plan is to hopefully feed her by bottle at night on occasion and eventually when we're out and about if needed. But I'm scared I'll struggle to find the time.

Yesterday during the day was either a fluke or this might be routine for a while. My little one fed and fed and fed until they finally went down but only slept an hour before she wanted feeding again.

I don't know if I can manage the time in-between feedings to pump enough to even attempt this next step and may have to do it at night when I know they'll be asleep for longer.

I feel anxious and sick about it and I don't know why. I feel like I'm failing and to make things worse my other half said to me yesterday when I shared my concerns "well you chose the exclusively breastfeed" which he immediately regretted saying and apologised, especially after I burst into tears.

But am I to blame for choosing this? If worse case they don't take the bottle and I use formula instead at night, I'm terrified my milk will dry up. I have all these fears and apprehensions about it and all I can do is just sit here worrying about it.

I feel so confused and unable to make sense of it, I see so many things online that say one thing or another and I just can't wrap my head around any of it.

I think 6 weeks is a fairly common point for babies to cluster feed especially in the evening. This usually only lasts a few days so hopefully will be quite short lived for you.

Night feeds are important for maintaining your supply so I wouldn't plan to replace them entirely. I never expressed regularly at that age so I have no more advice on fitting in expressing between feeds but maybe wait until the cluster feeding has stopped and go from there. Try not to let your mind go wild with all possibilities - easier said than done I know!

Oh dear you sound so stressed You've got a tiny baby, there's so much to think about. Take the pressure off! There's no cut off point - you have plenty of time to figure it all out. If the baby is feeding a lot and supply seems to be going well, perhaps don't pump yet? It's quite a faff so if you don't need to, don't. Make life as easy as possible for the moment.

You say you want to give a bottle out and about if needed but I'm not sure why it would be needed. Later down the line maybe, but for now the baby will always have you at the ready, that's what is most convenient for you both. When you want / need more freedom to be apart, revisit pumping then. Or maybe you'll find the baby manages without you for an hour or two by then anyway.

In short, focus on what suits you both now, and solve the future challenges when you get there, in the future.

In general, ebf has advantages in terms of convenience, but yes it's intense to be so needed. Imo, if you complicate that with bottles and pumping, you lose the benefit of the convenience, so you have to decide if the trade off is worth it for you. Nothing is 'your fault' for choosing something. Choice is a good thing BECAUSE you can choose whatever works best for you, and you can change your mind too.

Good luck OP and cut yourself some slack ❤️

Agree that 6 weeks is a growth spurt and it's fairly normal for them to feed, feed and then want to feed some more. Plan a couple of quiet days with baby, put your feet up. Read or watch tv and get DH to bring you some snacks.

If you want to start pumping regularly I'd pick a time and do it every day. Say something like 11 am when you might not be as tired as you could be in the evening.

Pumping in the evening is hard because milk supply is low. The early hours of the morning are the best for getting lots of milk.

Have you tried a Haakaa? You put it on one boob whilst baby feeds off the other. Your let down happens naturally, you don't need to actually pump. If I did that on first feed, I could get 4oz without any extra effort or time.

I think regular pumping is easier than occasional, as you, your boobs and baby get into a routine but you can always just step back and try in a few weeks if you're feeling overwhelmed.