Help, please! DD STILL not eating properly, no weight gain for 6 weeks, keep being fobbed off...

[designerbaby]

I know, I've posted o this before, and you're all probably bored of me by now... but DD (almost 6 months) is drinking bugger all, every feed is a battle and takes and hour or more, just to get 4 oz into her. Today she did 3 paltry little feeds (2-3oz) and one giant one of 8oz...

She's not gained an ounce in 6 weeks and is seemingly constantly constipated...

Doctor prescribed lactulose for the constipation and said "if she's hungry she'll eat". HV are concerned about weight gain and keep telling me to "feed her more"...

No-one seems to have any useful advice about HOW I should do this...

I'm reluctant to continually battle with her at feed times, and stop when she gets red in the face and starts screaming, put the bottle back in the warmer and try again in 15 minutes or so, but each feed literally takes an hour or more, before I finally give up, by which time I'm usually in tears myself, although I try and hide it from DD lest she pick up on my anxiety.

But I feel it's my responsibility to get SOMETHING into her, so don't feel I can just let her have 2oz a feed and leave it at that.

I've tried feeding 2 hourly, in the hope that "little and often" would help - but she just took half as much, so that didn't work - plus we had twice the tantrums.

So, in short, GP was unconcerned and unhelpful, HV were concerned and unhelpful and I'm at the end of my rope.

Gave up BF when she started rejecting the boob, in the hope that FF would be more successful, (which it was in the short term) but things seem to be getting steadily worse, not better.

I don't know if I should crank up the solids to try and compensate for the lack of milk, or whether this will make things even worse.

My friend reckons it's just teething, but this problem has been getting steadily worse for 3 months or more... it can't just be that, can it? Tried using gel before feeds - seems to make no difference.

DD is happy and alert the rest of the time, rarely cries (apart from at feed time) and is a little sweetheart - but my goodness, she's skinny and seemingly living on air...

Should I go back to the GP and try and get a referral to a paediatrician or am I just a neurotic first time mum?

I'm just SO worried...

db
xx

but how much do you think she should be having? dd used to have 8 oz sometimes, 4 the other, i don't think i was bothered so long as she was healthy and happy etc.

my dd who is now 2.4 and thriving, did not really start to eat properly till she was about 18 mnths.
I pulled my hair out and got really stressed, but she was always active, happy and slept really well. Now some dyas she eats a load and other dyas she eats hardly anything.
She is a petite girl and small for her age, but because she is happy healthy and active, I dont worry any more.

I would suggest getting the poo issue sorted, as everyone else has suggested, then just chil about weight gain.
I swear if I ever have dc no 2 (NEVER GONNA HAPPEN ) I will never get him/her weighed- I think it leads to worry.
YOU know your baby so trust your instinct

Hi Aitch,

I've been told by my HV that she should be averaging about 7oz a feed, and that I should aim for 6 and try and build it up from there.

She averages 4-5 on a good day...

She is well and otherwise happy (apart from the poo issue) but very skinny and her sleep (which has always been great) has been becoming quite disturbed - although that may be due to other developmental changes rather than lack of food...

I just worry because she's not gaining weight, and that can't be good... still tonight is another feed - we'll try again.

Have decided NOT to fight her about it any more - I fear it's becoming an emotional/tantrum issue rather than/as well as physiological.

db
xx

i know this is UTTERLY dense as a question but can't you give her another bottle? would she just ignore it if offered?

DB

My DD2 (8mths) i am convinced doesn't like milk. She has never drank more then 7oz at a time. Had very slow/no weight gain and yes i could have written your post about spending an hour trying to feed her.

So what i have been doing is this

6/6.30am - 6oz milk
7.30am - breakfast (porridge try to give one with milk.
10.30am - 4oz milk
12pm Lunch again try to give a milky dessert
2.20-3pm - 4 milk
4/5pm - dinner
6.30pm - 6/7oz milk if lucky.
11pm - she may wake for a last feed .

This is finaly working and she is finnaly gaining weight. But when i first started (at 20wks)she was only drinking about 3/4oz at a time.

Hi Aitch,

I've found that if I try and offer bottles more frequently she just takes less per bottle - i.e. she just cuts out what she's had in the extra bottle from her next feed... frustratingly.

However, I'm considering reverting to a 3 hourly feeding pattern in the hope that I can up her overall intake - my only concern with this is that she usually naps from about 12.30 to about 2.30, and that a 3 hourly may mess with that and throw her out of whack (she doesn't do well when her naps are too disprupted.

However, snuck an extra bottle in before her bath at about 5.30, which upped this evening's intake by a couple of ounces - so I'll probably keep that up.

BTW my last post may not have been clear - HV said to try and get her to take 6oz per bottle, and she averages 4oz-5oz on a (very) good day, 3oz-4oz on a normal one.

lizziemun thanks for your post - it's encouraging... good to know that you can make progress from where we are.

I'm hoping it's just a phase to do with her increased mobility and alertness, moving from breast to bottle (after first period played havoc with my supply and starting solids all at once, compounded by a recent cold and (probably) teething... which doesn't make me worry any less, but just hope for a light at the end of the tunnel...

It's probably compounded by my mixed feelings about giving up BF - I wasn't really ready to, or wanting to, but felt it was the best thing for her as my supply was non-existent, and we didn't have the luxury of a chubby baby to wait it out while I tried to get my supply back up.

I keep trying to sneak bits of milk in with her solids, thinning any purées with a bit etc. and in with her babyrice.

I keep wondering if she doesn't like milk too - or whether she's not crazy about the bottle. Maybe when she gets a bit better with her cup I'll try that instead.

I know I should probably try and chill out about it, but at the moment finding the whole feeding thing a bit soul destroying when she screams like I'm torturing her when all I'm trying to do is feed her . The minute I stop she's all smiles again...

Perhaps she's just a little bugger ...

db
xx

BTW Aitch - just read your blog... really good stuff! I'm determined to do a bit of BLW in our day - have just been giving her bits and pieces now and then to see how she handles them (usually squished in palm of hand and smeared on the table so far...). Probably too desperate to get food into her to go completely BLW but do want to make food a fun experience so will take some tips...

Thanks for all your help too...

db
xx

thanks! i amn't exactly sure what age your dd is but if she's young i'd be inclined to just let her do BLW precisely because if she's not eating then that's okay as it should mean she'll drink up her milk, iykwim? esp if she's on formula you haven't any worries about her iron levels etc. it's something to think about in any case, remember that sweet potato just doesn't have as many cals as the same stomachful of milk. good luck anyway, i'd still be asking for a wee referral, which will hopefully just be a formality as a pp said.

Thanks Aitch...

Really rubbish day today - tried feeding every 3 hours to see if she'd take more overall - all she's done is take much, much less at each feed, so we'll be about 100mls down on yesterday unless she does something amazing this evening...

I know sweet potato doesn't have as many calories as milk, but it does have more than thin air...

[weak attempt at smile emoticon]

db
xx