How to stop re-settling a baby via breastfeeding

[PippaTheDog]

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on stopping breastfeeding completely when you currently resettle baby at night via breastfeeding?

My little one is 13 months, goes to sleep without feeding but needs to be resettled when he wakes in the night by feeding. This is the only time he is breastfed (other than the morning occasionally or if he's super upset) but I can't do it anymore, I need more sleep & to share the nights and in finding it completely overstimulating. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to stop, what to do instead etc.

Even if I give a bottle it doesn't send him to sleep. It's currently taking me 1.5/2 hours to re-settle atleast 1 of the wakes.

Thanks!

Send your husband / partner in for night wakings. Take the milk option away completely

I think you are probably best to go cold Turkey, although it will be a painful couple of weeks.

That’s a lot of waking at night for 13 months - if it’s a regular thing rather a response to teething or a regression - so look at whether his bedtime is a bit too early or he needs more food before you start.

Try white noise to help you, but you have to go in in a high necked top, and just hold him till he settles. Get your partner to take over one wake up now, and build up to 50/50.

Once he’s settling without a feed, then gradually increase the time you leave him, so he slowly learns to settle himself.

It will take time so steel yourself for that.

We are in a similar position with 11 month old. We are starting by limiting to two feeds a night - first not before 10pm and second not before 2am. I realise he doesn't 'need' these feeds but this is what we did with our older son and it worked. We then moved to just one feed after midnight and then dropped completely. We are putting him back in cot before fully asleep.

If he wakes before he is due a feed we are settling by other means - patting his bottom etc.

Time for your husband to step up now. Your baby will be smart enough to realise the difference pretty quick.

DD was about the same age when we decided to drop the overnight feeds (and she was feeding a lot more in the day). I was up for an hour or two every night and was struggling with the sleep as I was just back at work.

What worked for us was DH going in to her, offering her some water, then cuddling her, singing to her and resettling her. It took a while the first few times but I think it was night 4 she stopped waking. After that she only woke occasionally and was then happy to be resettled by DH and it generally didn't take long at all.

I'm in exactly the same situation with my 13 month old. I got the flu unexpectedly and my MiL had him for 2 nights. He slept like a dream for her. It was like he knew mom wasn't there and milk was not an option. Since coming back home, my partner has been able to settle him at night by rocking and pacing the room!
I really want to quit breastfeeding but it might take another month of bedtime and mornings only. Hopefully I'll be done by February 🤞

Idk if it was part of the 12 month regression but it's every night now where he'll wake once or twice and one of them will take over an hour. Sometimes two!

We use white noise all night, I mean he's going to sleep between 7pm - 9pm every night? Depending on when his last nap was. And he tends to have tea just before going up for bedtime routine and then has a bottle of milk just before bed?

The problem is he'll scream bloody murder at anyone not feeding him to sleep. But he's not even getting a full feed. It's just the motion but it doesn't even seem to be working anymore he just keeps pulling off & constantly stroking me while feeding which I am finding completely overwhelming.