Oversupply. Fucking hate breastfeeding

[HateMyLife887]

Went through a horrible phase with my 4 month old where he fed constantly, wouldn't sleep etc for about 3 weeks. He finally starts sleeping better a week ago. Do I? No, because I'm waking up with breasts so full, they're actually deformed from how much milk there is in them. Covered in cold milk and in so much pain. I expressed a little for comfort each time but that wakes me up and makes me so angry. Not just at night, but breasts are just so full all the time. Itchy, painful, deformed, horrible.

Supply finally settles. Finally. I've had 24 hours of normal boobs and settled feeds where baby doesn't choke on milk. What does baby do? Decides to fucking wake up and feed every 2 hours all night . So I'm back where I started. Happy Christmas for me.

Literally want to die right now. Considered throwing myself off the stairs so I can spend Christmas in hospital and then baby would be forced to have formula and I wouldn't feel guilty about it.

Baby has CMPA. Don't get me started on the shitty foul prescription formula. I know all about it. It doesn't work. I'm his only source of milk.

Oh bless you OP, you sound utterly fed up with it all.

Solidarity for the utter shit our boobs are sometimes. The lack of sleep won't be helping either.

On a practical level, have you got a partner who can support you and let you rest?

Cold cabbage leaves helped me.

Does your baby not like the prescription formula?

That's so shit OP. I EBF both of mine and didn't enjoy it, my issues were different to yours but I very much relate to your feelings if not the specifics of your problem. Can't help with the practicalities, but sending virtual coffee and cake.

Could it be the 4 month sleep regression? That was really rough on my eldest.

You've done so well to get this far. I know six months feels like an age away but when you get there and start weaning you'll hopefully find things a bit easier as you won't have that burden of being the only source of nutrition.

@Hercisback1 Not sure what more my partner can do. It's the pure misery of it all that's getting to me. A whole week of baby sleeping well and I barely got to get a bit more rest. My breasts were so full, I couldn't even go for a walk outside in the morning, I was so uncomfortable. And I didn't want to just keep pumping as I wanted my supply to settle down.

And now I' back to square one, tonight my breasts are going to be mega full. My supply is so sensitive, always verging on oversupply.

Whether I wake up to feed or express, same thing. I'm awake.

@BarbaraHoward thank you. It was/is indeed the 3-4 month regression and it broke me as a human being. I expected to not sleep with a newborn, that was fine as baby slept in the day. This regression was horrific.

But my breasts. God I just know tonight they're going to be so uncomfortable and I hate it so much.

I'm really sorry, op. I've been there, engorgement is the worst feeling and it makes you panic/angry.

Some practical ideas...

• if you want to try again with the bottle, you could try mixing the special formula with expressed BM. It might make it more tempting for the baby.
• get into a routine where you (or ideally someone else) gives one evening bottle. This trains your body to reduce supply in the evening, if that's when you usually get engorged
• probably not applicable but just in case, never sleep in a bra. It's tempting to catch the leaks that way but it makes night time engorgement way worse
• instead what I used to do is get those big muslins and fold it across my front under my pj's. Have a fresh pile close to hand for switching

I told DH I'm not having another child. I can't go through this again. Pregnancy was awful but manageable. I can't breastfeed another child. It's hands down the worst thing I've ever done.

@LetsNCagain thank you My breasts are pretty empty pre midnight. It's 3 am onwards that is the issue. And I can’t get DH to give a bottle then. He goes next door to sleep 2 am - 6 am so he has a good 4 hours of sleep before work.

I know it's not the best timing but have you asked for any support from the health visitor?

Breastfeeding isn't a hill to die on. It's making you physically uncomfortable and mentally unwell.

Oh bless you OP, 4 month sleep regression is the worst! Our little one is really similar, baby is 6 months now and sleeps really well, finally.

Like you I suffered with insane oversupply which made baby spit up a lot more. I read online to try and lean back when feeding to slow down the speed the milk comes out. This certainly helped baby.

Not a lot of advice on the engorgement, it passes eventually. I used to have a very hot shower first thing when I woke up and naturally some of my milk would let down rather than pumping as I was worried about accidentally increasing my milk.

I really hope it all settles down in the next day or two and you all get some well needed rest.

I’m so sorry you are feeling this way, it can be horrendous and so frustrating when you have oversupply. I’m so sorry that your breastfeeding experience is so tarnished by this.
I struggled with my first with similar issues, mastitis twice etc but it did settle down hugely after we started weaning.
Baby 2 is now 8 months and it has been a breeze this time by comparison. I definitely feel like my body learnt last time around and when baby’s appetite goes up and down my body adjusts much better, right from the start.

It might still be worth a try as your baby will then be full and feed less in the first half of the night. You'd have to do it a few days in a row though before your body adjusts

I really feel for you, especially as you're feeling so desperate. I think it would be worth calling one of the BFing Helplines this afternoon and talking through your feelings with a BFC

The exhaustion and discomfort is definitely underplayed by the NCT people in my experience!

It’s hard going, you are definitely not the only one to find it incredibly hard. It sounds like you’re trapped with this for a while.

I remember being in the same sort of boat - you just fix something and the relief is huge and then it’s right back to square one!

EBF is skill and you are improvin but some people are just naturally adept at it (like I could never learn to do the splits, i tried and tried but my body simply doesn’t bend like that!)

I do just want to say that it was much easier for me with dc2 - I felt such a pro with different holds, squeezing my nipple to change the shape and flow of milk, and generally being amazing at feeding on the go.

hope you get some rest and respite soon xx

I sympathise - engorgement really hurts. And it’s even worse combined with sleep deprivation.

I found a few things helped, and if you haven’t tried them they might be worth a go. In order of helpfulness:

Block feeding - kellymom had good advice on doing it safely

Cabbage leaves - from fridge into bra

No heat on my breasts ever, showered without getting them wet and washed them with a cold flannel. Heat made engorgement so much worse.

Laid back feeding positions.

Paracetamol rather than trying to tough it out

That's so crappy to be dealing with! I would say your need not to have a mental breakdown out weighs your husband's need to have a good sleep before work. Send him to bed in the next room early, and then tell him baby is all his from 3am onwards? If he goes up at 9pm he'll be getting a solid 6 hours - which sounds like a lot more than you.

I had an awful oversupply too, and people underestimate how shitty it is. I saw a lactation consultant and practical things that helped kill the oversupply:

• Block feed - two feeds per side. Don't swap hand express to comfort if needed. Until supply settles.
• peppermint tea / colpermin tablets
• sudafed if needed - decongestants brings supply right down as they dry all fluids
• constant ice packs / cold cabbage. I kept these in a freezer bag next to the bed to wack on after night feeds. If I was feeding on only one side I had ice on the other to stop milk production
• tight fitting bra to compress while sleeping.
• lymphatic drainage at least twice a day - La Leche League have a video on it
• To avoid mastitis, probiotic with lactobacillus strain & sunflower lecithin granules

Gah 4 months sleep regression, it is the worst. I had lots of issues with DS BF but he is older now and has had a very good start with his immune system and we had far, far fewer doctors appointments and ear aches and chest infections than his bottle fed sibling. Honestly you win some, you lose some on infant feeding. It is suck a tough stage. You are in the wars at the minute but it does get better.

My midwife has given me a box of sage tea for in case this happens to reduce supply a bit

@HateMyLife887 have you read this on oversupply too?

If you do decide to have another child you can bottle feed straightaway. Breast feeding, as you have experienced, is not always best. DD1 breast fed and had little to no sleep while DD2 bottle-fed and at 6 months DGC sleeps through while his parents are no longer sleep deprived. Hope it all settles soon for you and your LO 💐

Big hugs and sympathy to you, OP. I had over supply with my first and I was MISERABLE. She couldn't keep up and milk would go all over her, I remember her coming off and the milk spurting onto the wall from the force. Constantly uncomfortable and covered in dried milk. My HV told me to stop in the end because I was so miserable and I don't regret it, DD did really well on formula and I was much happier.

Like you, I said i absolutely would not breastfeed another and that I hated breastfeeding. My youngest was born at 30 weeks and I was told either my milk or donor milk but he was too small for formula and so I reluctantly breastfed and surprisingly had a much more positive experience, feeding him for 18 months in the end.

It's perfectly ok to stop if you are miserable. Your mental health is extremely important.

Thank you everyone so much. I was at such a low low point when I posted.

I have tried a few of the tips here and baby has also settled into a more normal routine now (not sleeping through (that was a fluke it seems, he did it for 3 days but no more) but waking every 4 hours), I feel a LOT better. DH has also given him a few more bottles here and there.

I've also started handing him to DH and going upstairs a few times a day for 20 minutes. Something about being next to baby makes me hyper focus on him and I was completely exhausted. I react at every whinge or discomfort and my brain goes in overdrive.

Today is a good day!!

That's such a lovely update.

If DH is home for a few days try changing and feeding LO then sending them out on a walk for an hour. If DH is lucky they'll fall asleep long enough for him to go for a coffee and you'll get a better break

This is such good advice!!

Also wanted to add that I think expressing a tiny bit each time may actually make oversupply worse as it's a signal to produce more milk. Block feeding will hopefully help avoid that if you can manage the discomfort for that long! I'd also heard 4 hours for blocking feeding, but may be wrong... Starr with 2 and build up the 4 maybe?

It's terrible when you feel you have no other option, particularly with the cmpa issues, but as another PP said, the first 6 months are SO hard and it does get easier when they're having food alongside milk. Not too long to go, keep finding those little moments for yourself too!

You've had some good advice here regarding the breastfeeding and it can be brutal at times. I breastfed my oldest until the day before my second was born and the first few weeks were still difficult. but when you said you dont know what more your do can do… and then he sleeps in another room during the worst of it, maybe he should be significantly more hands on going forward. For night feeds my dh did the resettling after i fed the babies so even though i ebf the night time work was still shared.

Bottled fed doesn't mean instantly sleep through the night