On strike, worried this is end of BF

[chipperchick]

DD has been on strike for 10 days now. It happened quite suddenly - she is just over 7 mo, and we've been BLW for 6 weeks. She is eating 3 good solid meals a day now, and was having 4 milk feeds. Has been exclusive and enthusiastic BF since birth.

A few things happened which may have contributed to strike - stress, lots of moving around, teething. Plus the feed when this all went pear-shaped, was a bit late and she bit me - so I screeched (involuntarily) - she looked up at me v strangely. Thay day she went down to a v quick feed from one breast (was always before full feed from both). Then day after refused to BF completely. Cries and turns away when near breast.

Have tried various things to tempt her back, but it really upsets her. I feel v sad that she feels this way, when BF was such a lovely thing. I don't understand how this can be so extreme?

And as strike has been for 10 days, and no signs of coming back, what to do? Kellymom etc say to keep offering, but worried this just further irritates her.

Am expressing to keep up supply and as don't want to give her formula. She's having EBM 3 times a day, but not much, 400 - 500 ml, and not many wet nappies now.

Has anyone managed to coax a baby back from this? Any tips gratefully received.

I mean Nursing Strike! sorry just re-read this and realised it's not clear - DD is refusing to BF completely at 7mo. Please help!

dd went on strike for about 5 days when she had a virus, we got there in the end but it was v upsetting at the time. have you tried night feeds/feeding while she's asleep or sleepy? if you've been reading kellymom, you've probably read all the same advice I tried. did you try all the different things recommended on kellymom?

You have my sympathy...my DD started biting me just over a week ago, and while she is not completely on strike, will only feed from one side now (and only half of that, before those gnashers clamp down on me - ow!)... and I am concerned that there aren't as many wet nappies as there were, and that they are a bit "pungent", like it is very concentrated wee....

Does she still feed at night? My DD feeds much better on the night feed because she's half asleep and guzzles loads... perhaps you could try doing a dreamfeed (although I understand that the thought of waking a blissfully sleeping baby seems a bit crazy!)

Good luck anyway, it's horrible feeling rejected!

X posted with Morocco about the night feeds!

Thanks Klony and Morocco. Something v weird happened tonight - DD started looking inside my top as I was giving her beaker of EBM (she has been crying so much when I offer breast, I have given it. on day 12 of strike now). I got my boobs out, and she started grabbing my nipple. She opened her mouth and was almost rooting around (or 7 mo old version of rooting). First time she hasn't cried and arched away when near my breast for 12 days.

She went for my breast, then bit me really hard OW ! I managed not to scream, but she saw the shock on my face. Then she did the same to my fingers.

I don't know whether this is good sign - that she is at least approaching breast. Or bad sign - that she is treating it weirdly - wanting to play with it/bite it rather than feed. She has 8 teeth now and is eating lots of solids, not sure if she's getting confused.

She hasn't had any night feeds for several weeks now. We never realyl had success with dream feed - she was always wide awake to feed at night. I have tried offering her breast when she's sleepy, and the few times she has woken in night recently, but still upsets her....

Hi chipperchick,

I have changed name recently but I have posted on this before.

I have been through a number of nursing strikes and i got some very good advice from the La Leche League counsellors on the phone.

Night feeding is definitely something to keep trying. Also, the lack of wet nappies thing is an issue: when my DS went on strike he ended up constipated and dehydrated. if you have to, you can still give water in a cup or bottle if you don't want to give formula.

What worked for me:

abandoning the dummy - to encourage more comfort sucking
cutting down on solids
night/sleep feeding
lots of skin to skin contact, cuddles, co-sleeping
making sure breast was easily available (we just stayed home, me with just a top on and no bra...!)
'conditioning' my letdown reflex, to help speed it up a bit without stressing me too much. LLL leaflet suggested counting backwards from 10, imagining the number coming towards you on the inbreath, and then with a long slow outbreath, 'blowing it away' from you. It worked! After a few days of visualising and slow breathing, I got the time down from 5 on the second round of counting, to about 6 on the first (IYSWIM)
this was combined with trying as much as possible to feed in the same place (in the rocker in his bedroom) with a quiet dark environment...

I did end up giving formula: a hungry dehydrated baby often ends up unable to suck unfortunately, but after some good advice, I realised it didn't mean a slippery slope with BF already established. I don't give any bottles of formula at all now and am much happier with BF, as is he!

Good luck - let me know how you get on...

ps good that she is rootinf - that is the right thing. BF counsellors will advise you not to try and force the issue but let her come back to the breast on her own terms.

Perhaps you could give her some teething gel and something to chew on between feeds also?

And the other thing I didn't say was I found the biological nurturing feeding position good (me lying back, junior lying on my tummy head near my nipple) because he's bigger, this allowed him to root and latch on when he wanted to which was much better than me trying to hold him or move him near.

He often prefers to feed like this now when he's having a fussy moment.

Feeding lying down also had this effect: I figured partly he wanted to be in control of the process (and funnily enough, he also prefers finger food to being fed...).

hello chipperchick, I know how you feel as the same thing happened to me a month ago: I reacted very loudly when my 10 month old dd bit me three times whilst feeding and she subsequently went on nursing strike, albeit only for 24 hours.

Posted on MNet and did receive some much needed support for getting through it. Just wanted to let you know that they do go back on the breast.
This is what I did: keep offering breast but not persistently so as she would become distressed.
offered a cup of milk when she wouldn't go on brreast so as she wouldn't dehydrate.
co-slept and lots of cuddling and kissing, some naked time together too (someone also recommended having a bath together but I didn't do this because AF was paying a visit that week).
when she finally went back on breast, dh put her on my breast (ie he picked her up and brought her to my breast and manouevered her mouth to nipple IYSWIM) - no idea if this was of any effect, but dh believes it was the deciding factor for ending her nursing strike!

I know what you mean about feeling rejected, but have faith and she'll come back on to breast, I'm sure.
GOOD LUCK!!

Thanks Gina and Wilf, am beginning to lose hope, as its 12 days now....thanks for encouragement.

I know what you mean about wanting to be in control - we are baby-led weaning, so DD has had only finger food and loves feeding herself solids. Her strike was at similar time to her really 'getting' solids - eating more and realyl using her teeth! I wonder if this has something to do with it.

I don't know what to do know with the biting thing - I so want her to come back on the breast, but afraid she will bite again. I will try offering again in morning, but my nipples are sore enough from all the expressing, without getting bitten again.

Have tried teething gel in case was sore gums, but didn't seem to help. Biological nurturing position sounds good -will try this. Am in house with builders, so can't really wander around with boobs out at the moment!

I am giving her beaker of EBM instead of BF now. Have been advised by paeditrician not to give formula or dairy due to suspected allergies, so expressing only way forward for now...plus I want her to come back to BF...

I did speak to BFC who made me worry even more, when she mentioned that DD might not come back. It wasn't LLL though - I will try giving them a call as sound good. Thanks for the tips.

Do you really think she is likely to come back after almost 2 weeks?

p.s. Is it better to give beaker than bottle of EBM - will it make it more likely for her to come back to BF?

I am using beaker, she has never had a bottle at 7.5 mo. But it is making her v windy! She takes in a lot of air when drinking. Thanks!

chipper, my DS was on and off a nursing strike (with almost EXACTLY the same conditions - teething, weaning - as you) and it took about 3 weeks to be fully back to 'normal'... i have to say he has less milk overall than before but he was a milk monster before weaning.

But he doesn't seem unhappy and I am happy that he is mostly getting enough.

So the answer is yes - with enough good advice and support and patience on your part, you can continue BF in my experience.

It was hard, hard, hard though. We would have screaming and screaming and I KNEW he wanted milk but he just wouldn't feed from me.

We did end up giving formula even though I swore I wouldn't. But the odd bottle actually helped us cos it took the pressure off me and him. He glugged down the bottles (bit depressing). But often the next feed he'd be happier to have a go with me.

I didn't express a lot as have two other children but if you can then that will keep things ticking over till your DC is over this phase.

Do ring the LLL - they seemed to have lots of info and advice.

re beaker - why not? The LLL suggested keeping all the sucking time for BF, so no nipple substitutes at all. This really worked for us, notwithstanding the times we felt we really had to give a bottle...

Thanks wilf for ray of hope -good to hear you made it through similar situation. Did you have the biting? What stages did your DS go through, from the screaming, to finally latching on?

DD also screaming, and acting odd - I'm sure she really also wants to BF, but something is making her act v strongly against it. Given, until tonight, she has been so consistent it her reaction to breast, I worry that is a big thing that will be difficult to get over. Her teething seems to come and go, but she screams at breast each time! Weird it happened so suddenly too.

Not sure I understand whether similar let-down training would help - given that I can't even get her to latch on at moment?

Re beaker - wind is disturbing her sleep, just thought bottle might mean less wind? But given what you say about bottle potentially being nipple substitute, then think I would rather accept wind and stick with beaker!

no real biting - for us, I think it was caused by a pretty stressful environment (which as well as biting is known to be a factor in nursing strikes) as I have two noisy boisterous older kids have recently moved house, lots of other stuff going on etc..

AND I started out with a fast letdown/oversupply when I started BF and this too is often a factor. In our case, I think he was getting frustrated with the slower supply, hence me trying to help the reflex, I think one day the slow supply probably coincided with him getting upset at some shouting or somesuch and he went on strike.

He also did it a couple of times before when he was poorly and really couldn't suck as didn't have the energy.

I think it is quite a complex thing actually and the 'cure' was no one thing, though certainly removing pressure and making BF snuggly and pleasurable for both of us helped enormously.

I really hope you do manage to keep it up - remember, even one feed a day is still BF and you can always go back to more (that's what we were down to at one point - he'd only feed in the middle of the night)

We then built up the supply again when he was ready with lots of feeding.

wasn't very clear on supply issue: had oversupply in early days, gradually has evened out, now (8 months on) is much more gentle and if I'm at all stressed let down takes longer. This might not be an issue at all for you though.

thanks wilf for all your ideas. maybe we should give night feeding a go. any tips for this? i haven't managed to properly dream feed before - only when she's awake. should i go in and lift her out of cot while she's sleeping, and snuggle up to her with boob out? during day when I have cuddled her, as soon as she spots my boob, the screaming starts (until today when the grabbing and biting started instead!)

interesting about let-down. don't think is factor for us, but will see how it goes....

we're also moving house etc! so much going on at the moment. hope once things calm down she will settle back to BF.

DD is my first though, you did well to stick it out with 2 others to look after as well

I did a lot more co-sleeping during the strike and only wore a vest in bed that I could pull down quickly. We do quite a lot of lying down feeding anyway...

I have been known to lean right over the cot though and er dangle! His cot base in still on the higher setting though so I could just manage it... He was also a pretty predictable feeder before the strike so I started picking him up from his cot at night just before he'd normally feed while still asleep. We have a rocking chair in his room so we'd sit there with the light off and he'd gradually nuzzle his way on and feed sleepily.

You could also try a bit of 'psyching' her out. My boy will sometimes feed sitting up so when I could (obv not with your builders around, though by the sound of it, this could indeed be one of the things stressing her and you out?) you could sit with your boobs out and just do something else entirely (read, watch TV) This sometimes helped him 'choose' the boob and was no pressure. But if I held him and tried to bring the nipple to him, he'd scream, arch away, look horrified etc... So it was all about playing it his way TBH.