DD 11 days old t- has been a nightmare with BF from the start - PLEASE SUPPORT ME

[munchkinmum]

For a variety of reasons (poor attachment, jaundice, DD not pooing for 4 days) I have been mixed feeding for 6 days using hand expression and pumping as I have beenwaiting for very sore nipples to heal.

Thought I had cracked attachement at the hospital today but came home to feed and just couldn't do it - DD just fell asleep at the breast and woke up after 2 minutes screaming for milk. Ended up giving EBM and formula again.

Not sure how long I can keep trying - feel like cracking up. My dad is also v. poorly in hospital which does not help.

Feed due in 30 minutes (have to do this every 3 hours from advice from hospital) and terrified that it will not happen.

Anyone else been through this and cracked it?

Anyone?

Munch
xxxx

well done you've got it under control...Bath idea a good one.Make sure you look after yourself too plenty to drink and something to eat even though you might be wacked.Good luck with latching later I'm sure it will get better for you.One really good drink and then they know exactly whats on offer and hopefully never look back...I had trouble at one point and found a local breastfeeding group very helpful.The idea of taking to somewhere with everything you might need and keeping at it is really good.Sure your doing everything you can.Good luck

Very very similar.

My ds just slept and slept. Had to wake him up every 4 hours for a feed due to jaundice and low blood sugar. (It was 4 hours because he was mainly getting formula).

The routine was - 5 minutes on the breast, where he was literally latch suck and then just loll there doing nothing and eventually cry. Then I'd give him a bottle and express (while crying myself!). It's been the hardest thing I ever had to go through.

After 2.5 weeks and when the jaundice was gone and got the all clear from the hvs to leave him on the breast longer, he got the idea.

He's now 10 months, putting his hand down my top in public places!

Hi - we had a few problems in the first 3 weeks - sounds ever so common from what people are saying - and DS seems to have finally cracked it now he is 4 1/2 weeks (although of course may be blips ahead).

One thing I've found that helps if he is really really fussy and upset about feeding is to let him find the breast himself (think this is called baby-led attachment) - for some reason he calms down immediately afterwards and feeds much better next time as well. Basically we lie down in bed, skin to skin, and then I place him on my chest in between my boobs as if I'm cuddling him. Then I just let him frantically shuffle himself towards one or other of my nipples (maybe giving him a hand if he gets a bit stuck) where he plonks himself on and sucks like a demon... I then just let him feed like this (heaven knows how he can breathe with his nose pressed deep into my breast!) as long as he wants and when he delatches he's usually much calmer, looks completely milk drunk, and then generally feeds well at the next few feeds. I think it helps because he gets himself into a feeding position that he is comfortable with.

That is such wonderful advice HolidaysQueen - wish someone had told me that when we were starting out! MWs and HVs get so caught up in "positioning" that we forget that the person who knows the most comfortable position (well for them anyways!) is the baby! All that stress over special chairs, feet propped just so - and my baby much prefers feeding lying down!

Hope it is going better for you Munchkinmum - these first weeks are TOUGH!, but things will get better!!!

hello - do keep going if you can - it does take time.... best advice I can give is ban all visitors and wander round topless letting baby take the lead with when he feeds...

Have to say though the '3-hour' advice did work for me, I started it at 6 weeks and it worked a treat....

Lizcitral - not pooing in a new baby (up to a few weeks old) is something that could be a sign of not good feeding...it's really misleading to suggest that no poo in the first week is ok, as it may not be

munchkin, what you are saying sounds hopeful, and hope you get good support from your carers.

Hi- update

Had a wierd night - DD would not latch on for 2 feeds (either fell asleep, wouldn't latch on or could not be woken up) so we had to give EBM and formula (although he did do a little feed too).

Went to the hospital today and the little munchkin latched on without any care in the world and fed on one breast well (he didnt want the other). Made me out to be a big liar!!

We woke him 3 hours later and he FED FOR ENGLAND. Managed to latch him on fine but he fed for ages! 20 minutes on each breat with a rpeeat performance (1 hour 30 in total). The same again happened just now, 1 hour 20 in total.

Is this OK? We are thinking that maybe when supply is properly established and we get good at it then he may feed for less time???? Am I goin g to be chained to the sofa for the near future?!

Any thoughts oh wise mumsnetters.....

Hi- update

Had a wierd night - DD would not latch on for 2 feeds (either fell asleep, wouldn't latch on or could not be woken up) so we had to give EBM and formula (although he did do a little feed too).

Went to the hospital today and the little munchkin latched on without any care in the world and fed on one breast well (he didnt want the other). Made me out to be a big liar!!

We woke him 3 hours later and he FED FOR ENGLAND. Managed to latch him on fine but he fed for ages! 20 minutes on each breat with a rpeeat performance (1 hour 30 in total). The same again happened just now, 1 hour 20 in total.

Is this OK? We are thinking that maybe when supply is properly established and we get good at it then he may feed for less time???? Am I goin g to be chained to the sofa for the near future?!

Any thoughts oh wise mumsnetters.....

Hi- update

Had a wierd night - DD would not latch on for 2 feeds (either fell asleep, wouldn't latch on or could not be woken up) so we had to give EBM and formula (although he did do a little feed too).

Went to the hospital today and the little munchkin latched on without any care in the world and fed on one breast well (he didnt want the other). Made me out to be a big liar!!

We woke him 3 hours later and he FED FOR ENGLAND. Managed to latch him on fine but he fed for ages! 20 minutes on each breat with a rpeeat performance (1 hour 30 in total). The same again happened just now, 1 hour 20 in total.

Is this OK? We are thinking that maybe when supply is properly established and we get good at it then he may feed for less time???? Am I goin g to be chained to the sofa for the near future?!

Any thoughts oh wise mumsnetters.....

That sounds like he's getting into the swing of things. They do feed for ages and ages at first, but get more efficient at it, and settle into a feeding pattern by themselves. Bfed babies can be more into 'snack feeds' than bottle-fed ones, but honestly once you both get used to it you can feed anywhere, any time without any fuss.
Does the latch feel right- comfortable? Don't worry about asking again and again for support about this,it needs to be right for you both to be happy.
But yes, the do feed and feed at first.

I would find maybe a bumps and babies nct group or bfeeding cafe near you to try, so you can get used to feeding in company, and get out of the house, when you feel ready. Ask your HV, she should have a list of groups, or your local NCT.

Well done you!

I just thought, you're not even discharged from the MW yet, are you? Well, when you HVV comes for her first visit, hopefully she'll give you the local info. Baby massage is a great first group to try, but there is no rush, just relax with your baby for now!

um yes, you are going to be chained to your sofa/bed for the next while

It's worth it though.

I also had latching on problems at the start and sometimes we still have our moments (nearly 6 weeks) but things are getting better and better. Hoping soon to break those chains and venture to the world of outside so I can become a lactation lout and yell at passers by and spray milk in their direction.

It sounds like you're doing really well.

Thanks for your support PM - I will take your advice about getting out maybe in next few weeks, feel a bit too self concious at the moment and need to get all my boobs out to get it right.

Nips feel a bit tender and pink at the moment and boobs a bit battered - but not losing skin and cracking like before. Feel the latch is OK and my nipples are not distorted when he comes off like they were a week back....

Hope the sensitivity decreases soon...

Yay to your victory!

I had an awful time too - very badly cracked nipples. The BF counselor said it was the worst case of nipple trauma she had ever seen. The only thing that worked for me was keeping them moist using a combination of lansinoh and jelonet.

I got there in the end and it was so worth it - keep up the good work you are doing a brilliant thing for your baby and should feel very proud.

Hi Munchkinmum

Well done you!! I am not able to offer much advice but wanted to offer my encouragment.

I could not feed my first dd because I couldn't cope with it found it so hard and ended up feeling very upset and resntful of her, even though I really wanted to feed.

I now have now managed to feed dd2 for almost 7 months and I never thought it would be possible.

I had a very hard time like you, problems with latching on sore boobs, feeding every hour day and night etc and the way I coped and still carry on is to express, part formula feed, let her have a dummy and breast feed when I can. My simple rule is whatever works for both of us is fine.

Initially I was determined that I was going to exclusively breast feed and my baby was NOT NOT NOT going to have a dummy. However, in hospital the midwives were not dismissive if people wanted to top their babies up with formula whilst their milk established (I was shocked to see this but when I felt less drained soon thought that one formula bottle every 24 hours would not hurt either of us). My boobs were very sore and although I did not want her to have a dummy I thought that as she wanted to use me as a dummy and was hurting me, by letting my baby have a dummy I would have a better chance of success with breast feeding. I used lansinoh (if you don't have some let me know and I will send you some - part used tube but still like fairy dust!) and read a great book called best feeding for ideas about various problems.

My dd only had one or two bottles a day maximum for 3 months and then she seemed to get very cross with the flow of my let down. I then started expressing like mad which is tedious but kept things going as much as I could and supplemented with formula. I found it too hard to watch her crying when she was hungry and keep struggling so I breastfed her as much as I could and then got her a bottle. My milk supply did diminish to the extent where a couple of weeks ago I was only breastfeeing her once a day and I thoguht that's it my milk has gone. However, I think she has sensed it and feeds happily for 4 feeds a day now.

Anyway, although many of my points may be un pc, my message is do not be hard on yourself - you are doing so well to offer whatever milk you can to your baby. You should be really proud of what you have done for your little one and do whatever works for you. Relax and don't be too prescriptive. He is only 11 days old and although it feels like the longest time in your life, time will soon start to fly by and if you can hold on in there I bet you will crack it.

If you decide it is not for you then you will still have given him the best of your milk at the most important time. My dd1 who was formula fed is happy and lovely and is no worse for me not feeding her so whatever you do, don't beat yourslef up.

Very best of luck and hope your dad gets better soon. xx

It can take a two weeks for your breasts to get used to your baby, especially if they are a bit battered from latching problems, but they will heal quickly if you keep them moist and obtain a comfortable latch on with each feed. Take your time, you are doing great!

RE PM's comment- Can I just add, don't worry if they don't heal that quickly though.

Mine were badly cracked (this despite an apparently good latch, milk was coming down too fast for little one) and although the pain kinda went after a month or so, it took 3 months for the nipples to start healing. I tried gel, lansinoh, EBM, air-dry etc. Nothing was working, until one day out of the blue, they started healing, and were back to normal (with funny scar) in a matter of days.

Don't want to discourage you or anything, just want to warn you that it can sometimes take a little bit longer for things to go back to 'normal'.
And yes the early feeds take AGES! That doesn't last, DD was down to 5 mns on each side before I knew it...

Anyway keep up the good work, sounds like you're both doing great!!!

aurorec- absolutely. The air drying thing is not advised any more- I think it makes it a bit worse. Keeping them in your bra and moist is the best thing, but like you say, things take as long as they take- I was refering more to the general new to breastfeeding sensitivity with the 2 weeks.

He's just fed for 2 hours and is still faffing and I'm shattered so we are giving him some EBM so I can have a kip......

But - I'm pleased with progress today - nips intact so latch must be OK albeit a bit sensitive.

Will keep you posted.....

Munch
xxxxx

Try to give any top-ups by syringe, cup or spoon and avoid using a bottle. Best to avoid the top-us really, but if you must give them use something other than a bottle as this sucking technique will shred your nips again.

Hang in there,

Monkies

Hi sounds like you're doing brilliantly ..... just perserveing is hard enough in itself, FWIW getting things sorted with dd1 was terrible, don't know if you're taking any pain relief but as a short term fix I took paracetomol ( within the recommended guidelines I hasten to add) about 1/2 an hour pre feed as it made me less stressed about the latch and that inital yowwwwwwww! toe curling moment. keep up the good work it did get easier for me it just took time oh and second lasinoh worth every last penny

Good luck and get some sleep

Re going out and bf'ing in public. A friend has a fab apron type thing with a hoop around the top (called a 'bebe au lait'), which you can pop on to cover up your boobs from publid view when feeding but still see what the little one is doing. Also good for stopping the baby stopping mid-feed to have a look around. Wish I'd had one for DD when I was feeding her.

Glad things seem to be going better.

public view!!!