I'm struggling, getting no help and I'm in agony (Please dont flame me)

[ICantDoItAnyMore]

I am thinking of introducing formula, DD is 6 mo and exclusively bf. I have had mastitis god knows how many times. DD has had oral thrush and I have had thrush for the last 3.5 months.

I got some cream for me and DD from our gp and it hasn't helped at all. I've been back to our gp no fewer than 6 times for help, he now says to put DD on formula as she is 6mo.

My HV is about as useful as a chocolate teapot and has been telling me to put DD on formula since she was about 12 weeks old.

DH keeps saying to put her on formula, he means well, I can see he just doesn't like to see me in pain.

I've been in constant contact with LLL they have been really helpful but just advise me to see my gp.

I recently went to my first breast buddies group but I just felt so out of wack I couldn't bring myself to ask anyone for any help. I kept 'tearing' up at the thought of asking them

My mum does support me but also keep saying now that DD is 6mo that I should just put her on formula, as it was good enough for me.

I really enjoyed bf at the beginning but now I don't enjoy it at all, in fact sometimes I hate it.

I was thinking about mix feeding.

I would appreciate any advice or support that anyone can offer.

right when is your next BB group?

Is there another Dr you can see?

If you want to give up BF then you have done an amzing job keeping it up for 6 months. Most don't manage that. If you want to keep on then would setting a target in your mind for 'if things haven't improved by...' such and such date here 'then I will then consider giving up again', do this in the hope that you will have been able to resolve the problems you've been having in that time frame by trying the BB again or another Dr?

You have done a fab job and given your DD the best start she could hope for though so whatever happens remember that.

oh sweetie. that sounds awful. grr at your gp and hv though - not very helpful is it?

is the mastitis always on one side? my friend always got mastitis on one breast and it was driving her mad! in the end she stopped feeding on that side and eventually the milk dried up and the mastitis stopped. not an ideal solution but one side made enough milk for her dd.

no other advice i'm afraid but huge amounts of sympathy!

You've had a lot to contend with, and you've bf your baby to 6 months which is fantastic

Is there any way that you can see another GP, or ask if there is a different cream if the one you have is ineffective?

You are allowed to ask for help at your BB group - that's what it's there for, even if it seems that everyone else is sailing through.

Be kind to yourself, whatever you decide to do

The next group in next tuesday (I didn't go yesterday as I couldn't face it )

We have 2 Dr's at our gp surgery and I have seen them both, with no luck.

I REALLY don't want to give up bf, but I can't take it anymore. I am literally crying in anticipation of DD wanting a feed, then crying throughout the feeds which incidentally are getting longer and longer.

Oh sweetheart, no-one is going to flame you! Mastitis and oral thrush must be hell!

You have fed your daughter for 6 months already and that is fantastic! She has had a brilliant start!

I know it bloody hurts, but you do need to keep feeding her as that will clear it up. I mix fed DS3 for a few months, mainly because DS2 was breastfed until he was a yr and wouldn't take anything else, so I decided that I wouldn't make things difficult for myself and mix fed from 4 months and went on to formula completely at 6 months. I think doing it gradually helped me come to terms with stopping bf. I did miss it, but not as much as I would have done if I had suddenly stopped iyswim.

What I will say though is do what you wnat to do. It's your baby and your body, so no-one else can say you should be doing XYZ. Don't feel bad if you do stop bf, too many mums beat themselves up with guilt over things like this (I did with DS's 1 and 2) and so instead of enjoying their babies to the full they are constantly worrying. Your DD will be happy whatever you decide to do.

Take care and I hope you feel better soon x

poor you. Only you can decide what you really want to do, but please don't let MN make you feel a failure if you do give up, because you are most certainly not that! Good luck.

can you express for a little bit to give yourself a rest and chance to heal?? Worked for me. Otherwise, you've done really well to get to 6 months and formula/mixed feeding will be fine, even if it's just for a bit to tide you over. It really shouldn't be an endurance test for you to get thro. It's not worth it when you're in such pain.

Thankyou I really appreciate being able to get this off my chest.

I have tried expressing and for the last few weeks I can only get about 2-3 ounces altogether from both breasts after about one and a half hours of expressing. I don't know what is wrong I used to be able to get 8-12 ounces in one sitting after about 30-40 minutes.

I hate to admit that mix feeding sounds really good to me now.

I have bought some formula and just having it in the house feels like there has been a weight lifted off my shoulders.

nothing wrong, i'd have thought, tho no expert. Probably more that your body has adaprted to providing the type/quantity of milk yr LO needs over the past 6 months so might be producing less now for this reason.
You could always use a little of the expressed milk (however little) to make yourself feel better and use formula as well. It doesn't have to be forever. You may well be able to go back to exclusive bfing after you've recovered and if you want to. Try not to beat yourself up!

I just know that I spent too many days crying because I felt I wasn't producing enough milk for DS2, crying because I felt like I was failing him, crying because I felt that formula would be a cop out, when I really should have been going with the flow and enjoying my gorgeous little baby. He would have been fine with formula and I would have been a way more relaxed mum if I had stopped feeling so guilty. If there is one thing I would have changed about when DS2 was a baby it would be to have been more relaxed.

DS1 was another matter, he developed a ilk allergy at 4 weeks old, which the hospital didn't pick up on until he was 9 weeks old. He was 7 weeks prem too. At 9 weeks I stopped BF and blimey did I feel bad about it. But he was fine, and he is a strapping 14 yr old now!

ICantDoIt - My DD is six weeks and I have been mixed feeding her from birth, for me it works really well. I'm so impressed that you have lasted six months, that's incredible determination and staying power. To be perfectly honest, in your position I would have probably given up ages ago.

I BF during the evening/night (when my milk supply is at it's best) and the first feed in the morning - this way I don't have the faff of making bottles when I'm asleep! Then I formula feed during the day. My DD is happy, I am happy and she is still getting breastmilk, just not as much as if I was excl feeding her.

You are a person in your own right and if it makes you this unhappy I think it would be the right decision for you to introduce some formula. Oh and please DO NOT feel guilty!

Really sorry you're going through this. Thrush is absolutely the worst. I got cream and gel from the GP for thrush but it took a long time to clear up. Check past mn threads on this, but I think that fluconazole is what you need. I would go back to the GP (or ideally go to a different one) and don't leave the surgery until they give you a prescription. Some more info here.

Congratulations on getting to six months - it's absolutely brilliant given what you've been through.

Thrush can be a really, really difficult problem to shift

LLL are right - they have to send you to your GP with a medical issue like this. If all your GP is offering is cream and it doesn't help, then you need to see someone who can. Go to the breastfeeding network info on thrush www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/leaflets-and-publications.html and then share it with your GP, or another GP.

I6t's horrible to be in so much distress you can't even ask for help - can you phone and talk to someone?

It may be that the way forward for you is to ff, and that is fine - who on earth would flame you for that!?! But in that case, stopping bf gradually is important, esp with your history of mastitis.

Good luck whatever happens.

I think it is just plain guilt that is stopping me from mix feeding. I mean I KNOW that DD has had a wonderful start and that she has had 6 months of ex bf, and I know it's not like she will never have bm again, but I feel so guilty.

If I could just get past the guilt I think I will feel so much more better, maybe not physically but in my own mind IYSWIM.

I really want to enjoy DD (and I am) but... oh I dont know... I really cant seem to put it into words...

My ideal situation at the moment would be for DD to have a breast feed morning, afternoon and evening and the rest of the time formula.

I know exactly what you are saying, I felt the same. I know you are enjoying her, but you can't help feeling guilty about things (which you really don't need to feel guilty about )

A few breastfeeds a day sounds perfect. It what I did with DS3 and it worked really well. I did get the old 'mixed feeding doesn't really work' but it can. It made me more relaxed, and less tired too.

And I can tell by your posts that you would miss BF, you do when you stop, it's kind of an odd grieving feeling iyswim, but it does pass. And with mixed feeding you would have the best of both worlds!

Thankyou all so much, I really cant put into words how much better I feel from just getting this down in words. To know that some of you have been in the same/similar situation makes me feel that I'm not alone.

The formula I have bought is the Aptamil first easy digest stuff, is it any good. What do you use?

Aptimil is excellent, it's the best one I ever used.

I used Aptamil and it seemed to be fine (we mix fed from much much earlier on but still bf now at 2.7) Good luck!

If you want to move onto bottles then no-one will flame you at all; you've done really well in what sounds like difficult circumstances.

If, however you want to get rid of the thrush and keep going then you need to get some fluconazole tablets. If the thrush has been going on this long it might take two doses to get rid of it, but believe me it will go. I had thrush until DD was about 6 months and had 3 lots of fluconazole tablets before it shifted.

Here is The Breastfeeding Network's Thrush leaflet. Take it to your GP and get him to prescribe what you need to get rid of it. Both you and baby need treatment or you'll keep re-infecting each other. Be pretty insistent though as GPs can be funny about prescribing the tablets as they arn't licensed for use in BFing women, however the amount that gets through in your milk is less than the amount that can be prescribed orally for infants so there isn't a problem with it.

with regard to the mastitis; I'm sure this isn't the case for everyone, but I used to get it as well as recurrent blocked ducts. I read somewhere that expressing can cause problems with blocked ducts so I stopped expressing and hey presto no more blocked ducts or mastitis. this was also about the time the thrush cleared up as well, so not sure if there is a link. Breastfeeding Network Mastitis leaflet

Obviously the longer you can BF the better for both you and the baby, but I think you'll find that if you get the thrush and mastitis sorted, it'll become pleasurable for you again.

Good Luck xx

i think mixed feeding can work really well, especially now your supply is fully established. I got pregnant again when DD was 8 months old and have mixed fed for two and a half months. I've only stopped BFing her in the last few weeks as my supply is drying up, but that is more to do with being pregnant than because I mix feed.

I use Farley's first milk as that's what I used with my DS so it's what I know iyswim. We did try Aptamil, but she didn't like the taste. The farley's seemd closer to the taste of my BM.

The first stage milk will be fine; there's no need for hungry baby milk or follow on milk, or night-time milk at all.

i hope you get this sorted.i really do feel for you.im in the process of changing from bf to bottles so i kind of know how you are feeling xx

and sorry if my post about the thrush sounded preachy . It's just as a martyr to thrush myself and having to educate my GP about what I should be taking, I've turned into a bit of a crusader about it! It beggars belief that GPs are so ignorant about it; one of the GPs in my practice refused to believe that ductal thrush actually existed . When I asked for something for thrush when I needed ABs for mastitis as I knew it would re-occur he prescribed me a vaginal pessary!!

hi coping i need to email you, but have been busy with a sick DD.

no worries.i hope your little one is ok x

I suffered with thrush for 3 months, so i understand the agony you've been experiencing. On the advice of a wonderful breastfeeding counsellor, I used the breastfeeding network leaflet on thrush to talk to my GP. He then prescribed me oral fluconazole and it really helped clear up the thrush.

While waiting for the thrush to clear up, I mix fed and it really helped ease the pressure on my poor boobs!

I also felt incredibly guilty, but when the thrush finally cleared up, I was able to go back to breastfeeding. It did take a lot of determination to get my supply up and everyone thought I was mad to return to feeding on demand, but I was so happy to be able to enjoy breastfeeding again!

You've done such an amazing job to feed all this time with thrush and mastitis. Please stop beating yourself up. you need to do what is right for both of you.