12mo suddenly stopped breastfeeding

[oddsocks85]

I’m looking for some advice. My DS recently turned one and about 10 days ago started refusing the breast literally overnight. He was exclusively breastfed and then weaned onto solids at the appropriate age, but still breastfed regularly. I went back to work about 6 weeks ago but he was still feeding overnight and was desperate for a feed as soon as I got in from work, as well as during my days off. I’m absolutely gutted that he’s now refusing it as it seems so sudden and I’d hoped to feed him for longer. If I offer he cries and pushes me away, although sometimes he still pulls at my top so it almost feels like he’s confused. He always fed to sleep and now goes down with shhing and patting. It all feels so different. I guess my question is, is he likely to go back on after 10 days or is this the end? Online it says children rarely self wean before the age of 2 so I’m clinging onto that but he really doesn’t seem to want it now.

My friends baby did this, I'd say he's suddenly self weaned. I understand you feeling sad as it wasn't on your terms. I had difficulty getting my 2 year old to stop, lots of tears and broken nights, so I'm not sure which I would have preferred 😂

Thanks for replying. I do wonder if I’ll look back in a while and be glad that it was on his terms and that I didn’t have to make the call about when it was time to stop but I at the moment I just can’t believe how much I’m grieving it! It’s really thrown me to be honest, I guess I took it for granted.

My DD did this at 9 months. I did feel sad at the time, but having seen other Mums desperately trying to wean children off the breast (especially at night) at two and three years old, I think I was lucky.

My son stopped at 9 months. He didn't want to know after that. All babies stop at different times, there is no right or wrong answer. Take your lead from your son, if he's not interested, he's not interested.

One of mine self-weaned and I cut the other one off aged 3. Self-weaning is perfect once you adjust to the idea, as you never have to say no.

@oddsocks85 I've noticed my almost 11 m/o's patterns changing, so I have been researching a lot as I, too, want to nurse longer. Everything I've come across says what is here:

llli.org/breastfeeding-info/nursing-strikes/

I did think that whenever it ended, there’d be tears from one of us. I’d obviously much prefer the tears to be coming from me than from him so it probably is better in the long run but I really am struggling. Hopefully I’ll be able to move past it soon and just enjoy the memories.

Yes everything I read is along these lines too, hence me feeling confused! I was hoping it was just a strike but as every day passes that seems less likely.

One of mine did this at the same age. I wondered if he was weaning but he was just teething and went back to nursing with gusto after 2-3 weeks. He went on to nurse for 2.25 years.

Did you do anything specifically to encourage him back on??

Is it possible you're pregnant again?

No, I’m in a same-sex relationship and had our son via IVF!

My DS stopped at 8 months quite suddenly. I was distraught and I think quite hormonal as it was such a quick change. After a couple of weeks I started accepting it and a month later actually started enjoying having my body back. I loved breastfeeding so I know it's really hard to end.

I tried lots of the tips given for overcoming nursing strikes but none worked. He was done. He did give me one random long final feed about a week after he started striking and I felt like it was him saying goodbye. I'm glad we had that and then I just had to accept he was ready.

That'll be a no then 🤣

Just that it's a fairly common reason for older babies to go on nursing strike!

I think I am incredibly hormonal as I cried reading this! I do keep saying to my wife I’d love just one more feed so it’s lovely that you got to have that. Hopefully I’ll start appreciating the positives of stopping soon.

Haha yes I’ve heard this too!

Both of my children self-wean before 12 months, I honestly think it's because they were finding other activities more interesting and couldn't be bothered spending time doing it anymore. 😆DD in particular was into everything and once she'd discovered cups, she wanted to use them.

No, just offered and he just took it up himself again. It makes sense if he was having teething discomfort that he might not want to nurse. I just didn't think it was likely he was actually weaning at 12 months.

It seems self-weaning before 2 is much more common than what the internet would suggest!

Hopefully my son my son is the same but reading all of the comments it seems very possible that he also may just be finished!

I think a lot of people also mistake nursing strikes as self weaning. I was getting convinced my son was stopping, until he didn't.

You probably have a breast pump if you're back at work, but I'd recommend using it to keep your supply going. If he'll take a bottle, you can give him the expressed milk.

Thanks I have been pumping every evening - feel like I should be doing it more but struggling to find the time. He does drink the milk from a cup so glad he’s at least getting some.

I'm sorry I made you cry! Sending hugs! I think when DC stops breastfeeding it is a grieving process, I certainly felt like that with this sudden end to something so meaningful. But it's also good to start seeing it as a celebration of your little one's new found independence. You've done a fantastic job feeding them and they feel safe and secure and ready to go it alone. Like taking the stabilisers off their bike :)

I found the hormones made me plummet into depression for a couple of weeks but they do settle down. I pumped for a bit to try and keep my supply and my DH very gently encouraged me to stop and to accept the situation instead and after a while I decided he was right. If its potentially just a strike then yes keep pumping but otherwise it may be prolonging the emotional pain. I hope you get through this OK and feel better soon 💕

I'd suggest a lactation consultant unless you are at peace with letting it go now. It's so personal. 💐