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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

What is wrong with the word BREASTFEEDING!

19 replies

VictorianSqualor · 28/04/2008 16:56

Four times today I have done the 'how much did he weigh', 'what's he called' 'how are you feeling' 'how is he sleeping' conversation and every time I have been asked 'are you feeding him yourself'
Is there something wrong with the word breastfeeding?
And why do I feel the need to say 'I'm too lazy to faff around with bottles' when asked instead of 'It's the best for him and me so I mde a decision to breastfeed?'.

OP posts:
Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 28/04/2008 16:56

Next time I'm going to say, 'No, I'm not feeding him myself, I have a wet nurse.'

OP posts:
Moosma · 28/04/2008 16:58

You should reply "Yes I am, DH just doesn't have enough norkage for him to do it"

jingleyjen · 28/04/2008 16:58

I think people say that because they are frightened of asking outright if you are breastfeeding (even though that is what they actually are asking!)

beansprout · 28/04/2008 17:01

Tell them you have an elf that comes in and does it?

Klaw · 28/04/2008 17:02

Ah, you see I take great pride in saying that I 'fed my babies myself', my body made the milk and my breasts stored it and my baby drank from them. It's not just BREASTfeeding, the whole of me was involved in nurturing my babies

and yes, I'm too lazy too

but then I didn't make any 'decision' to feed ny babies myself, it was just an automatic, natural thing to nurture my own children.

Also, it's free!

You're doing grand!

tiktok · 28/04/2008 17:02

Squalor, I see nothing wrong with this at all...it's just an expression, not a prudish thing, IMO

Racers · 28/04/2008 17:03

Yes get that a lot too. Also from MiL -simply 'are you feeding her?' (no emphasis on you as one might expect) - I resisted a sarcastic response. I generally just reply 'yes i'm breastfeeding' just to make a point of saying the forbidden word

beansprout · 28/04/2008 17:07

Perhaps from the National Elf Service?

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 28/04/2008 17:08

Oh I disagree, I do see it as prudish, well not necessarily prudish, but something, it's like it's ok to ask but don't dream of mentioning the B word.

OP posts:
weasle · 28/04/2008 17:20

I see what you mean 'are you still feeding him?' no he lives on fresh air...

Americans really can't cope with the word. They use nursing. Much confusion when my mum, who is from north UK but lives in USA, offers to nurse (cuddle) the baby, as in 'let me nurse him for you' whilst I have a wee or something. Or rather, 'use the restroom'. Her neighbours are a bit .

stillstanding · 28/04/2008 17:20

Hmmm - this is really odd when you think about it. Presumably quite a lot of formula-feeding mums also feed their babes themselves ....

I think perhaps the reason for tiptoeing around this issue is because breastfeeding can be such a sensitive topic and the question is quite a loaded one if you think about it ... some people could get quite defensive and feel like you are being judgemental.

I'm always wary when I try to ask this question and usually skirt around the issue - similar to when I want to know if someone had a c-section or an epidural ... it's not any of my business (although I always like knowing for some reason!!).

DontCallMeBaby · 28/04/2008 17:36

It can definitely be prudish - my first night out with colleagues after DD was born, one guy asked if was breastfeeding, cue gasps and 'you can't ask THAT!' I'm pretty sure it was because of the b-word and associated intimacy, rather than breastfeeding or not being a touchy subject (most of the rest of company had no or significantly older children). The guy in question had two young children and another baby on the way, I don't think he saw the question as a no-no at all.

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 28/04/2008 17:39

This is mainly mums at school though, so you'd imagine they were happy to say 'breastfeeding'.
but it's almost like actually saying the word is too intimate iyswim.

OP posts:
Tortington · 28/04/2008 17:43

i think this is overly precious actually. its quite clear what other people mean,

there is nothing wrong with the word menstruation but we all have different ways of saying it according to our own sensabilities.

it isn't becuase we think its wrong, dirty or anything of the sort.

Original poster
VictorianSqualor · 28/04/2008 17:48

Maybe Custardo, if only one person had said it I'd not have thought anything of it, I'd have just thought it was their way of wording it but 4?

OP posts:
ThingOne · 28/04/2008 17:50

What on earth is wrong with he phrase "feeding her yourself"? Nothing to do with being prudish, just a perfectly normal turn of phrase.

Fllight · 28/04/2008 18:00

I think it's mainly older ladies using an old fashioned approach, as they would have when they were young mothers...I am proud to anser yes, but often end up feeling embarrassed so I start the 'too lazy' routine as well and then feel exhausted by having to laugh and so on every time.
I think people ask not because they have presumptions about the kind of person you are, and want to be nosy, but because they will have had experiences themselves and want to share.
I often have the response 'oh that's lovely dear, best thing for them' or 'I fed all my four, it was wonderful, they are so precious'.
'Of course it was very hush hush in those days'...
I like hearing about it. I often get knowing smiles from older women in cafes and so forth.

alittlebitshy · 28/04/2008 18:05

I'm waiting, after I have this baby, to get some odd looks from some of my friends. They all bottle fed - one even because she said it was easier (I didn't even go there with the "how"? line of questioning cos there was no point). One friend's ex-dp appar once said that he didn't like seeing women b/f. If they were still together I'd be relishing getitng my norks out for my baby in front of him (subtly of course). I didn't know any of them v well when dd was a baby so never got the joy of flaunting b/f and it's ease and cheapness etc etc etc at them

I know i'm slightly off topic - but it kind of fits with OP {in my hormonal pg mind )

Klaw · 28/04/2008 19:27

Well, I unjustifiably proud of the mum I do post natal work for last week! I took her to the dentist and once she'd been seen and her 4 month old son's gums checked she mentioned that she really needed to breastfeed, so I suggested we went to a cafe. Her face lit up and so we did, I got some drinks in for us both and proceeded to do our usual routine of mum feeding one twin, then me burping while she fed the other, and so on until they were both fed!!!

We went back the next day and did it again, only this time we couldn't get the more discrete seat and sat in a sofa opposite another one so the young lass there got a real education!!!!

Yes, you CAN exclusively breastfeed twins, look at the size of those baby thighs!!!

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