Help! I dont want to top-up with formula :(

[missjennipenni]

Hi! This is baby number 3, so you would think i would know whats what! lol

Anyway, i have a 3 week old baby, who was 5 weeks early. Ive been 100% breastfeeding him since he was able to take milk feeds in SCBU. The first 2 weeks, he was an angel, waking every 3-4 hours for a feed and settling with no problem.

The last few days (about 5 nights) he has not been settlign after feeds, at all. Also he has marathon 3 hour feeds at night, and wakes every SINGLE hour during the night. Im really at the end of my tether, and dont know what to do. I also have 2 other kids to look after, so cant survive much longer on no sleep.

My MW and HV were both asked for advice, and was told to give him a formula top-up at bedtime. Is this really the only solution? It would seem liek such a failure on my part, as i breastfeed my other babies til a year old, with no problems!

any help, advice or even just encouragement would be gratefully apprieciated!

Firstly, congratulations!

Does he wind ok after feeds? It could be something as simple as that thats causing a problem?

Personally I would feel that a night formula feed wouldn't solve the problem - how often does he feed in the day - are you feeding on demand or every three hours? What about trying to do some cluster feeding in the early evening so he can build up supplies to start getting him through the night? I used to feed dd from about 6.30 - 8.30 in the evening.

Doesn't it sound like a growth spurt. I would wait a bit and see what happens, hvs and mws are very quick to suggest formula, don't know why. They also become more wakeful after a few weeks. I had this with dd, she was dreadful and after having a near perfect sleeper first time round was a big shock. She's 15 months now and sleeps fine 7.00 to 7.30 and has been doing for months. Don't give up yet.

jenni, it's a shame they couldn't come up with a better idea than formula

I know it's exhausting, but it is good your baby is behaving like this. 3-4 hourly feeds is not very often for a newborn, though it's very common for babies born a little early to feed as infrequently as this, as they sleep to conserve energy...in fact, it's often helpful to assume they need breastfeeding more often than this, to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start so the milk is well-primed for the very normal term-baby behaviour to come.

I think he's probably catching up - and doing the very best he can to give your milk supply a big boost. In fact, he's doing the only thing he can, as he can't ask you, send an email, or anything

It won't last forever, but while it does last, then whoever is around to help - now is the time to let them know you need it. It might be an hour or two's rest in the day, or help with the other two at bathtime...whatever, you will have your own list of priorities. It's not a 'failure' to give a formula top up, but it's just not necessary.

Co-sleeping will help with the night feeds - you can check out safe co-sleeping at www.babyfriendly.org.uk. As for the difficulty settling between feeds, just keep him close, and accept that separate 'feeds' are not happening at the moment and they can merge into one another somewhat.

Hope this helps. It's often quite hard to get bf established with an early baby - and then you get a shock when they are term

Thanks for all your advice!

I cant get any wind out of him at all, no matter how long im at it for! He does seem windy though, pulling up his legs sometimes, and a "creaky" sound in his tummy, but even with infacol, nothing is being emitted. Any ideas on that?

Ive tried co-sleeping last night, it didnt seem to make a difference. He woke up just as frequently though.

As for feeding him up before bedtime, last night i fed for 3 hours constantly, from 9pm til after midnight and he still woke every hour after that!

Should i maybe contact a BF counseller in my area?

The co-sleeping is mainly to make it easier for you to feed him at night, jenni....it may well not make him sleep more.

A bfc would be a good idea, yes

Oh and re the wind - forget about 'trying' to get it up. It's far more likely his extra wakefullness and hunger is just normal and nothing to do with wind.

thank you! i feel much better about it already, knowing its whats bes for him. am determined not to go down the formula route now. thanks xx