BF a second baby

[kayzisexpecting]

I am expecting my second DC. I didn't BF my DS, I tried but the MW's and HV's were useless and never helped me despite both me and DH asking for help. I want to try and BF this baby(Im only 7 weeks but trying to be organised)

DH told his mother this(she constantly moans 13 months later that I didn't BF DS) and she said that I would be a bad and terrible mother if I BF the new baby but not DS. She said DS would hate me, think I was an bad mother and would maybe end up in care or living with her(Over my dead body) She says DS will know I didn't breastfeed him and think I love the new baby more. DS will be about 20 months old when the new baby is born.

Is my MIL just being the normal nasty person she normally is to me or is she telling the truth?

I am a bit scared. DH told her she was being stupid and to stop being horrible.

TIA

Sorry its a bit long.

She's talking out of her arse

What a crock of shit

Take no notice of the old boot

Thanks. I do try to ignore her most of the time but then she'll say something like this and it gets to me.

What a horrible woman your MIL is. Your DS will be fine, and I do hope you get a lot more help to BF your next baby. If you want to BF, you usually can, although there are occasions when it just doesn't work out that way.

Good on your DH. She is being very silly. There are many, many MNers who have ff their first and bf subsequent dc, I know a few in rl who have done the same. I know of nobody, virtual or 3D who has a child in care, living with a mad old bat of a grandmother or otherwise affected in any notable way due to milk.

Of course DS may display some jealousy when dc2 comes along and fully expect your frankly batty MIL to blame it on where the milk comes from. I suggest practicing a withering sigh now.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck with the breastfeeding.

OMG - she sounds evil, frankly. Take no notice, he will have no opinion at all at his age and is unlikely to care in the future either. Oh and it's none of her damn business anyway.

Ignore her! And try to stay away from her as much as possible. You don't need that stress whilst you are pg. DS may get a bit jealous about the amount of time you are spending feeding the new baby, but he would also get jealous of the time spent giving bottles as well. If it worries you lots, why don't you try and think of a few simple things you could do to include your DS during feeding time? For example, would this be a good time to sit and read a book with him?

We are expecting some jealousy. Hopefully not as bad as I was. I was horrible when my brother came along. Tried to roll him down the stairs when he was about 6 months old

I am just going to ignore her. I might practice nodding and going "Hm really"

i agree with our DH!!! Glad he is sticking up for you!

I am one of the many MNers show of hands mentions - i Ff my first two children and have Bf the younger two. DD2 is well aware of this as she is now 8yo and i am still BF the youngest. she knows the reasons why she was FF. DD1 is teenager and doesn't care!

i suspect she is jealous of her younger siblings, but because of the time i spend with them, not because of the Bf. i am very glad that she has had a chance to see me Bf the babies, as i hope it will be a role model for her and she will see Bf her own children as natural and normal. she sits beside me on the sofa Bf Baby Annabelle

your Ml is an old bag. you need more practice ignoring her.

sorry i mean YOUR DH

I do need more practice. You'd think after 3 years of being together I would have got used to her by now.

Thanks. I will go and look for that book.

kayz, what a nasty woman, and perhaps someone with real personality or psychological problems. Many, many women bf one child and not the other and all of us do different things with subsequent children. There is absolutely no evidence whatsoever that this damages the other children in any way.

What she has said is so poisonous, it would be a relationship breaker for me, personally. She wd need to retract, apologise to me personally, agree not to make stupid, hurtful remarks about me in future, and my DH wd need to back me up all the way.

That way, you are in control, instead of her.

What an old cow! - What is her problem because she must have one, this is nothing to do with you.

I also tried but gave up very quickly with dd and ds1, am still BF ds2. Other 2 dc have no jealousy over the feeding, although the issue of ds2 moving and grabbing toys is a whole other story!

The reason I managed to succeed with bf this time is going to see an NCT adviser before ds2 was born and talk throught the issues I had previously. I had some very bad advice from MWs and HVs.

Congratulations on the pg. Hope you look after the baby the way you want to!

She'll never do that. When I have confronted her in the past about things she says she never said it and that DH makes it up. We got on really well until I got pg with DS. She didn't want us to have kids because DH has Muscular Dystrophy. She even said to me that DH was abnormal and that she had given birth to a normal baby then he changed.

She reckons I trapped DH with DS and this baby and we only got married as I was pg. I found out I was pg the day before we got married. Both our kids have been planned so I don't know how I have trapped him.

But I can't just cut her out as she is DH's mum.

about your mil.....i would be having steam coming out of my ears .

If you want to try to BF your second child...then you DO IT (just like me as im gonna try with dc2 as i only managed 2 days with my DD but i was sobbing in the end but noone said a bad word about it).

She tells you that DH makes things up? So why is your DH not insisting she retracts the accusation of him being a liar?

I am going to do it. I never do anything she says anyway. She just seems to know certain things to say to annoy me.

He does but she ignores him Tiktok. I honestly think she has selective memory.