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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Out of interest, how many of us have children that have never ever even tasted formula?

304 replies

welliemum · 27/04/2008 22:15

I'm interested because you hear so many people saying "I plan to breastfeed for X time and then introduce a bottle" as if it was an inevitable fact that all children need to graduate to formula sooner or later.

And then there are loads of people who breastfeed but give bottles from time to time.

The formula companies must be laughing all the way to the bank, because they're selling formula not only to people who can't breastfeed or choose not to, but also to (I suspect) the majority of breastfeeders.

So, how many 100% breastfed children are out there?

My dd1 (now 3) had some formula top-ups between about 8 and 10 weeks, so she doesn't "qualify".

dd2 (coming up for 2 years) has never had formula. Is this as unusual as I think it is?

OP posts:
SamJamsmum · 30/04/2008 06:10

DS aged 3.5 had no formula ever and has only had a few mouthfuls of cow's milk since he was 2. Doesn't really like it. Eats plenty of dairy.
DD aged 5 months has had breastmilk and one spoon of calpol!

duchesse · 30/04/2008 07:54

pussycat- those women are lying about their babies sleeping. What they mean by through the night is after the dream feed at midnight, they stir once at 2 and don't wake up for good until 5am. They're deluded. It's the same kind of competitive mum thing that always happens. I can remember telling people that actually,, no my 4 mth old has started waking up 4-5 times a night (a developmental stage in retrospect), and getting pitying looks from a bunch of silly women whose babies were probably not sleeping all that much more than mine.

Try to weather it in good grace and with a knowing nod- it's borne more of exhaustion and needing not to feel as though you're coping worse than others than any bad will. They're all feeling the same as you really. And really really don't feel bad about the formula- you do what it takes to get through it all, honestly. That's all everyone does.

prettybird · 30/04/2008 09:27

I exclusively bf for 12 months and then he was on cows milk with me bf monring and evening and for another month or so (as we were going on a long haul holiday).

That included me going away for 9 days when he was 6 months old, during which time he was fed EBM. (He may have had one or two formula feeds from my SIL before I sent back a message that I had calculated that I had indeed left enough EBM - but I'm not sure)

And for the record - ds slept through (midnight to 6 am) from about 2 weeks old, which was actually too early, so for a while I had to wake him to feed him. From (I think) 4 months, he was sleeping though from 10pm to 6/6.30.

We weren't co-sleeping, so it's not a case of him having had dream feeds.

We did know we were very lucky!

prettybird · 30/04/2008 09:38

And BTW - I had a massive struggle to get bf established, with ds dropping off the growth charts, which is why I got so good at expressing (not that it made any difference to his weight gain). It took me nearly three months to be sure that he was feeding properly.

Fortunately i had excellent support from the midwives/breasdtfeeding counsellors (and avoided HVs - the only "baby clinic£ I went to was at the breast feeding support group at the maternity hospital) and the consultant paediatrician.

Ds was just a classic "non failure to thrive" baby who didn't follow the growth curves but was a happy healthy baby. With hindsight, he was probably "catching down" as he was very heavy at birth but dh and I are both small.

LadyJogsAlot · 30/04/2008 09:40

they can't have cows milk because the proteins in the milk in large quantities (say 3 bottles a day) put too much strain on the kidneys.

prettybird · 30/04/2008 10:27

Just reading mirandadag's post re working: I went back to work when ds was 4 months old (only 4 months maternity leave in those days ) and expressed at work and also at home (weekends and also at 10pm when he stopped that feed). Fortunately, 'cos of my early experience bf when we were trying to supplement him with EBM, I was a dab hand at expressing and in fact had managed to build up a store.

I also had a very supportive boss and was able tot ake whatever time I needed at work to express.

Plus the fact I wasn't sleep deprived 'cos he slept through meant I was able to cope.

Sometimes it is jsut the luck of the draw. Dh and I did often used to say that if we had another baby (unfortunately we weren't able to ) we woould have to have laminted posters up all arunf the house saying "Remember - they are all different"

glaskham · 30/04/2008 10:33

My DD slept through from 12/13weeks, 7pm to 7am, she was put in her own room and didn't cry for a feed after about the 3rd night.

BUT DS (pfb) was 10mths till he slept through, he'd wake me at least every 3 hrs in the night for a feed, we co-slept for most of this time so it didn't feel as hard on me, but at 10mths we moved into our own home and he had his own room and it again only took 3 nights before he was sleeping 7 till 7 for us.

I think with DD we felt comfortable putting her in her own room so early because once DS was in his own room he didn't need me in the night. DD was always a better sleeper than him as she only wanted 2 or 3 feed during the night from birth, then at around 8weeks went to about 2 feeds, then at about 11 weeks went to a 5/6am feed only so i thought into her own cot and get up with her once instead, and she decided to sleep through till DS woke her at 7am!!

Dolorescat · 30/04/2008 11:05

I went back to work a couple of weeks ago and as I find it difficult to express and I would be out of the house for 14 hours at a time I decided that ds (now 8 months) would have to have formula whilst at nursery/ with my husband. I asked my mum to give him a little bit of formula a few days before he started nursery to see that he would drink it/ didn't make him sick or anything and I felt so upset that I had to leave the room when he was drinking it.
I know it sounds awful aswell but I hated my mum for a few minutes. (I think I get cross with her because ever since he was tiny she's been asking me when I'm "going to wean him onto a bottle" (as if it is inevitable) and pointedly saying that she would help me with ds more if only she could feed him)
That has just reminded me ... when he was a week old I was crying and obviously just exhausted from long difficult labour and birth and squally new baby/ baby blues etc... when my mum said that I should give him a bottle and not feel ashamed as I had "given him a good start" (ie: one weeks bf). It is hard not to say anything as I don't want her to think I am criticising her parenting, and I know it was all different in the 70s (babies were green with pink spots then weren't they), but I felt so unsupported by her with regards bf (she is good at other things).
I still feel upset by all this now actually. It is hard to stop bf isn't it. Sick of people always telling me to wean as if it would make life easier, with no regard for the fact that I sometimes feel it is the only mummy thing I do right.

grouchyoscar · 30/04/2008 13:01

DS (4.5) was exclusivly breastfed until 13 months. I was very lucky, I took to breatfeeding quite easily and was able to express 6-8oz a day.

I couldn't get my head round the idea of every buying formula, mixing milk etc etc

I look at this strapping 4ft 3.5 stn kid now and can think 'All my own work (smile) (or all my own fault )

waycat · 30/04/2008 13:07

DS2 fed exclusively from me until 14 months old, when he decided he'd had enough - I was heartbroken.

He never had formula nor a bottle. Went straight to full cream cows milk from a cup.

CountessDracula · 30/04/2008 13:08

Mine
she started on lager from day 1

bohemianbint · 30/04/2008 13:10

DS never had any formula - just decided he was going to stop BF just before his 1st birthday (was gutted!) and has never drunk milk of any kind since. He'll have cows milk on cereal and will drink chocolate soya milk but that's it.

FourPlusOne · 30/04/2008 13:23

Butterfly McQueen - why is it that you think this thread is awful? Do you think that it is some sort of judgement on ff babies, because if you read the OP and most responses, it is not.

I hate the threads that turn into 'judgey' type discussions but this one is not. The OP is just interested as to why it is seen as the norm for even most exclusively BF babies to have the odd formula. Which is my experience of friends in RL. In fact I don't know of anyone at all who has not given their baby formula, and I think some of my mum friends think it is a bit odd that I have never done so, which seems unfair! No one has said that people should not ff.

BabiesEverywhere · 30/04/2008 14:37

DD exclusive breastfed until 6 months and still on the breast at 21 months old.

No formula and a cup of cows milk offered in lieu of breastmilk last week, was rejected and thrown at the floor in disgust.

ButterflyMcQueen · 30/04/2008 17:26

well it sticks in my throat everytime i see this thread. i am loathe to 'bump' it

i bf my babies all 5 and most for a year

a lot these boards didn't

just see this as a wee bit 'self congratulatory'

TheBlonde · 30/04/2008 18:02

Both of mine were mixed fed from 8 mths
I needed to be able to leave them from then and expressing doesn't work for me

sabire · 30/04/2008 18:13

just see this as a wee bit 'self congratulatory'

Because - let's face it - formula is necessary for most mothers living a normal life.

And only women who are trying to achieve 'perfect' mothering can really do without it.

The rest of us accept that formula is an absolute necessity.

God - how did mothers and babies cope before formula was invented?

duchesse · 30/04/2008 18:49

I don't see this thread like that at all. I do not see how my decision to feed my child(ren) can in any way affect how others feel. The OP asked for people's experiences of full breast feeding, because she did not know of any herself. I feel that her request for information, which may help her feel less isolated in her choices, is a perfectly valid one, and do not see how that can in any way affect anybody else.

Unless they think that full b/f is the gold standard and that they have somehow "failed" at. Which is patent nonsense, as as many posters have pointed out, many circumstances lead to mixed feeding in western society.

bigspender30 · 30/04/2008 18:50

each to their own I say.

Stefka · 30/04/2008 19:03

I know quite a few breast feeding mothers and I would say all of them have a normal life! I don't consider my life to be abnormal just because I am breast feeding. What an odd view.

sabire · 30/04/2008 19:07

Sorry Stefka - I was being sarcastic!

I have bf all my three for (18 months, 13 months and 30 months) and have led a normal life too (whatever normal means!).

harpsichordcarrier · 30/04/2008 19:08

I think sabire was being ironic! that's how I read it anyway.

andiem · 30/04/2008 19:40

duchesse your post is excellent I was thinking of posting something similar myself but you got there first and said it much more eloquently than I would have

in the circle of groups that I go to music swimming playgroup I am the only person still bf ds2 is 10ms and tbh I do feel a bit of an oddity at times so it is reassuring to realise I am not

verylittlecarrot · 30/04/2008 19:53

I don't see this thread as self congratulatory. Bloody hell, there are so few people who do excl bf you never get to bump into another in RL and can feel like a freak for being so unusual. It's a valid question to ask "is there anyone out there doing the same thing as me?"

But even if it were self-congratulatory; so be it. I don't resent other people's achievements, and it is daft for other people to resent mine.

It is an achievement to excl bf, particularly in the UK against all the pressure to use formula, and all the scaremongering by HCPs about taking risks with babies' health for slow weight gain.

I'm not sure there has been a great deal of "oh, well done you" on this thread, but if there was, well, so what! Let credit be given where credit is due, and let's stop begrudging one another a kind word of support.

sushistar · 30/04/2008 19:59

I feel a bit self-congratulatory cos I've stuck with bfeeding exclusively for 5 months and it was hard sometimes but I believe I did the right thing for my ds and for me and I'm proud of myself for sticking with it.

Is that wrong?