So frustrated and sick of breastfeeding challenges

[Charlottef94]

I’m have a lovely 6 week old baby and since day 1 breastfeeding has been so difficult and I’m just so sick of it now and could scream with frustration.

Since day 1 he has had a difficult time being efficient with milk transfer meaning in the beginning extreme cluster feeding with him becoming really unhappy, screaming and frustrated for hours and hours on end. Initially he wasn’t gaining weight and so we were triple feeding for a bit and then topping up with formula.

Now I feel like I don’t make enough milk to fulfil his needs, he takes at least 150ml a time when it’s in a bottle and even at 6 weeks he’s waking hourly at night to feed, he’s feeding about 15 times a day and I can’t breast feed him if I’m out or have anywhere to be as he takes 40-1 hour per feed and is never satisfied after feeding. At night I’m waking every hour, for an hour at the moment as he takes so long to feed, then sleeps for 60 mins then the cycle starts again.

I’ve tried literally everything, paid for multiple lactation consultants, pumps, been to local BF support groups, everyone gives conflicting advice. I’ve now started a herbal supplement ordered from America that claims to help milk supply as a last resort.

I’ve been cobbling together feeds by BF, pumping and formula and am so sick of feeding him 3 different ways with all the hard parts and inconveniences of all 3. Watching him suck at my breast in the night and not swallow anything for 20 mins honeslty is starting to make me want to yell in frustration, I don’t understand why my boobs don’t work. He has also started constantly latching, pulling and de latching from my boob and I’m not sure if it’s the influence of the bottle.

I don’t know what advice I’m even trying to ask, I just am so sick of this, 6 weeks is when people say it starts to get easier but it’s no better at all. I just think I’m going to have to start formula feeding full time which is disappointing but will make my life much happier.

has anyone got any advice on how to phase out breastfeeding / transition to formula and whether it’s possible to keep 1/2 breastfeeds or pumped bottles a day and your milk supply stay not completely dried up?

Someone will be along with better advice soon - but the pulling delatching thing that you describe happened to me. It turned out to actually be a clever way of the baby stimulating the production of more milk to meet increased capacity in the 6 week old tummy. It's like a pull system of supply and demand. It happened for a few days in a row and then as the capacity for milk production had been stimulated enough to meet demand - he settled into a much more contented pattern after a few days of sleepiness ( which was literally him growing !) following those interminable days of delatching / latching and then actually sort of thumping my boobs.
I remember it vividly.

I won't tell you what you should to shouldnt do here - but I would say that this sounds like normal growth spurt behaviour ( I didn't know it at the time and was absolutely in despair as I'd also had to work really hard at breastfeeding following low milk production to start - with a hungry boy and a lot of blood lost at birth) .

It's very hard (( hugs ))

6 weeks is a growth spurt. DS1 (now 12 so a looooong time ago!) fed for 24 hours basically non-stop when he reached 6 weeks - I still remember being pinned to the sofa!

Cluster feeding is more common at night because prolactin (BF hormone) is released at night to boost supply. Cluster feeding doesn't mean you're not making enough milk, it's purely a biological feedback loop.

Once the 6 week growth spurt is over, I promise it gets easier. I learned how to BF with my babies in a sling, which helped me to get stuff done.

Good luck!

I stopped at 12 weeks I ran out of coping ability, just shifted to bottles, feeding had been quite mixed before then, we hadn't really settled into it enough and my supply was patchy. If you need to stop for your own sanity then do so.

Just here to say, when I gave up trying to breastfeed it felt like a massive weight off my shoulders. Life got better, (my) tears stopped and I could start to enjoy my baby. I gave up after 6 weeks.

Absolutely keep trying if you want, but there's no shame in stopping.

Switch to formula for your own sanity. A happy and comfortable mother is far more important for your baby's development. I don't think women should be driven to the brink by the breastfeeding mafia.

I switched to half and half when LO was 2 months old. Alternating throughout the day and night - so one breastfeed, then the next feed would be bottle, then breast, then bottle. At pretty set times.
Despite all the dire warnings (that my milk would dry up if he wasn't EBF) I continued to breastfeed him until he was two and a half (for a long time it was just one feed a day, first thing in the morning).
Do what works for you and your little one.

I hope you are OK OP.

Please do whatever works for you best. In the long run I did find breastfeeding easier but it is NEVER EVER worth the amount of angst that it generates. A fed baby is a fed baby and a mum that is ok is critical xxx