Seriously need some help!

[Mummy9431]

My 12 week old baby has totally changed this last two weeks. She was taking around 28oz a day… now,
she screams at the bottle, chokes, coughs.
she takes about 17oz a day.
she won’t drink more than 2oz at a time and every feed is now a battle.
she snorty and so bunged up but no snot is coming out and doesn’t seen unwell.
I’ve completely had enough with feeding her and fighting with her. I’ve had her to drs twice and he’s put her on reflux medicine, given her an inhaler and said next step is lactose free milk and he’s tried her with a course of antibiotics.
i don’t know how to help her cause I don’t know what’s wrong with her.
I absolutely hate it and I’ve had enough.
I’ve got a three year old who is now getting none of my attentions cause my 3 month old is a constant worry.

I’m sorry OP it’s so hard when babies go through these spells with feeding, my daughter is 6 months old now and has had s couple of these!

Simple option first, could it be the teat? Have you changed teat recently? If not, might it be time to up the teat? As babies get older they need the bigger ones as they are more fast flowing. Getting frustrated with feeds and not finishing them could just mean the teat isn’t letting the milk out quick enough, so they can sick of trying and give up.

The sniffly/snotty, have you tried the drops you pop in warm water which helps to clear babies nose? I actually have one sat on my bedside table right now and my girl was a bit snotty tonight so just helps clear that up before bed.

@Mrsttcno1
thanks for reply! Honestly I just do t know where to turn anymore.
I feel as though I’m not bonding with her because I know every 4 hours I’m gunna be fighting with her to take a bottle :(

I put her on size two teats about 2 weeks ago which she usually takes really well (only 2 oz ) but the 1’s she’s was having a lot of wind with but she can’t handle a size two in the night, she just chokes and coughs and won’t feed. So I have ones for on a night.
in all honesty in at a loss with it all.
my first daughter was awful with a bottle/milk and I just haven’t got it in me to do it all again 😭😭

The snotty and bunged up made me think milk allergy.

If it is reflux and they gave you gaviscon dont assume that will sort it. Ive nannied for a few reflux babies and gaviscon never sorts it they needed ranitidine (but I think that's not prescribed anymore?). Is baby in pain? Didn't sound like it from your op so I'd not immediately think reflux

Think back to what has changed at the time the problems started. Maybe it's the teats. But I've seen babies unsettled and sleeping poorly having frequent small feeds because they are uncomfortable by the room being a bit colder. Not cold but just colder. With summer o we maybe it's this. Or did you change from baby grows to pjs or something? Different washing power or perfume/shampoo so you dont smell the same for baby. It's unlikely causing the feeding issues but they are very sensitive to smells.

They also pick up on your stress so while it's not your fault at all the fact you are approaching a feed already stressed could easily be making baby stressed then not feeling. Could have started as an illness and dragged on because baby knows something is upsetting you.

Get baby regularly weighing. If you drop two centiles the HV will make refferals and it will be taken seriously. Drs can be quite dismissive if baby still gaining weight unfortunately

@BestEffort
thanks for commenting!
I’ve been given gavisvon two weeks ago but it hasn’t done nothing so they have prescribed Omeprazole that I will be starting with her in the morning, she does strain while in the feeding position but today she looked like she was in total pain (first time) so I’m really unsure.
the dr has been brilliant tbh listened to everything I’ve said looked at videos of how she feeds and pictures of projectile vomiting so I could give him the full picture.
he said he doesn’t think it’s milk allergy cause there no rash her poops are normal but he isn’t ruling it out as of yet.
he’s said to see how we get on in the next two weeks and after that he’ll prescribe some formals for her.
i just don’t know how I’m going to cope if thing don’t improve. It’s affecting my mental health, the bond with my baby and I feel so guilty cause all I want to do is give my 3 year old some attention 😭

around the time I changed her teats but this seems to make feeding faster but not feeding more. She seems to get on ok with it (most of the time) with the 1s she just gets fed up and stops. Other than that nothing has changed 😭

It's so hard. I have so much experience with babies because i used to do temporary jobs for new mums who struggled. It's so much easier when it's not all day every day on little sleep. You need to tell your partner it's affecting your mental health and talk about how he can help you get time with your 3 year old. If you are bottle feeding then he can do some overnights, I think a full night uninterrupted sleep often is more beneficial than dad taking one or two night feeds so neither of you get a full night. Or could you afford to hire in help? For overnights it's a maternity nurse and costa a fortune but if you get daytime/evening help from a babysitter it's much cheeper. You don't need education or loads of experience if you are home yourself. Childcare.co.uk is good for finding this sort of thing I used to get my work through there and if you are offering newborn experience short term you may find nannies keen to get the experience don't charge a fortune for a short term position. If not a babysitter to give you a break from the baby then a cleaner so the time you spend cleaning can be spent keeping yourself sane or with your toddler.

Try to remember how quickly they grow up. You have a 3 year old you know this. And you got through it last time you can and will manage again. This stage won't last forever. And 3 is a really resilient age for a new sibling, the fact you are worried you are not giving enough time tells me you probably are. It's the parents who don't think about the impact a new baby has on the older siblings that are the ones guilty of it.

Have you got a baby sling? If baby like that then you can make use of it to free up your hands to do something with toddler. Even feed baby in sling while you do toddler story at bedtime. I've nannied for kids that age 7-7 and if the parents make an effort to spend quality time at bedtime and kids are getting good care in the day then they are fine. I've seen parents who spend load more time with their kids but it's not quality time and then the kids can suffer depending on their personality.

You are trying your best and you are worried about your 3 year old. That makes you a good mum. Get the support you can from family and friends to keep yourself sane but know you are going to be ok. Baby is already 3 months you are probably more than halfway through this exhausting phase before you know it you will be dealing with a crawling baby into everything tipping out toy boxes but feeding well xx

I recently had a thread (hence the username) as DD2 was a nightmare taking her milk. We are bf with formula top ups and she would take over an hour to drink 100ml. It was a nightmare. The GP put her on gaviscon and it has totally changed her. It took about 2 weeks to kick in properly. Don't go straight in with the full dose. It makes baby super constipated. We started with a half dose and that was enough to stop the sickness, calm her and get her back drinking the bottle properly. We also had a referral to the hospital as she was losing weight. The paediatrician recommended omeprazole if the gaviscon didn't work, but given you have to slowly wean off omeprazole, I felt that the gaviscon alone was sufficient for us. Her weight has stabilised since she has been on it so it must be working.

We also found moving to a faster teat helped.

For the snotty nose, have you tried the calpol vapour plug in at bedtime? Weve used it since my eldest was little and it has always really helped.

To the pp, ranitidine has been discontinued as it contains something that has been linked to cancer in animals.

@BestEffort
Thanks, I really wouldn’t feel comfortable having help in, she’s my baby and I just want her to be ok, the night feeds are the best ones, she just drinks nicely and goes back to sleep, my partner did all night feeds last night and I had a full nights sleep but this morning I still feel stuck in the awful feeding bubble!

I think on my partners next days off I’m going to leave baby with him and take my 3 year old out. I think she’s totally fine but I need that time with her haha.
she’s adapted to been a big sister amazingly. She so helpful and is always playing with baby, she’s totally in love with her haha.

yeah that’s a good point we are nearly there to the weaning stage and she will be crawling about soon! It’s does go so quick but when your in the days they feel so long!

@Slowfeedingbaby
Hi, she’s been on gavisvon for 2 weeks now and hasn’t made her constipated at which I was shocked at, I’m hoping that the other medicine will work with her cause she just refusing the bottle now.
she’s not got any snot anywhere tho it’s really odd, it’s like her airways haven’t developed properly