Question about on demand / baby-led feeding - encouragement needed!

[ibblewob]

With my first baby (DS, now 2.6) I tried to put him on a routine, which was often quite stressful for both of us. With DD (6 weeks) I'm loads more relaxed, bfeeding going well (I think) and she seems quite happy most of the time.

But, the problem is that one result of a routine for my DS was that he is a very good sleeper. It was also helpful to me to know what was coming when. I'm a bit worried that letting DD feed and sleep when she wants will mean it's a lot longer before she has a pattern?

If any of you could share how things worked out with your "on-demand" babies I would really appreciate it

Thing is, do you really need to know whats coming when ? If you have you, your boobs, and somewhere or thing for baby to sleep in, you can just get on and do things, not worrying about being back for a nap or feed.

For me, going with DS's flow has meant that I never worried about dropping feeds or naps, and he is an incredibly happy and settled child.

I think it's a lot to do with the temperament of the individual child. With all my dcs I demand fed. DC1 and 2 just put themselves into a routine very early and tended to have their naps at the same time each day, which was very easy for me. Dc3 was all over the place!I never knew when she would sleep or for how long. I can safely say I did nothing differently with her and think she is just a busy baby who likes to stay awake and not miss out on the action. Good luck with it all!

it might be a bit longer but a pattern will emerge, esp if you have a family/household pattern already with ds going to toddler group etc

with a pfb you can go mad to the extent of making Excel charts of sleeps, feeds etc but with a NSC (neglected subsequent child) this is less likely

I wrote down dd's patterns and worked out she needed three naps a day - one about an hour after waking up, one somewhere in the middle of the day and one that finished around 4pm.
Of course she didn't always get that - on Mondays we did music at 9am so I'd have to either get up really early and squeeze in a nap before we left, or get up late and jolly her through the session till she fell asleep the minute we left. But that was my choice iyswim - once I knew what she needed I could manipulate it to suit the day.

This was at about 4m though...

Thanks for all your replies

I think most of the time I am fine with DD doing what she wants, but sometimes it would be useful to know that she's not going to want to feed if I'm getting a meal ready, doing something requiring my hands with DS, planning BF round trips out etc. Plus, time with DH in the evenings would be lovely!

Love the pfb/nsc thing! It's so true - a little while ago I found a note book with DS's routine in it - pages of feed and nap times, how long he'd had on each side, when he'd had his nappy changed etc. lol!

I know it's mostly a case of wait and it will get easier, as with all babies, no matter what you're doing. It's really good to hear about other's experiences though