Bf baby crying from hunger, what do I do?

[fromheretomaternity]

I'm bf'ing a three week old. He is a hungry chap and will feed for an hour at a time, 30 mins each side.

In the mornings all goes well, he has that satisfied sleepy look on his face after a feed and goes off to sleep. But I just did a 1pm feed lasting an hour or so, he was squirming and sucking but I'm sure both breasts were empty by the end, nipples were dry and no milk visible in his mouth. After the feed he cried really hard, was turning his head to the side, eating his hand etc, obviously still hungry.

What should I do? It had been 4 hrs since his previous feed, did I leave it too long? I am trying to do a feed right now (started 3pm) but worried I'll have the same problem, surely milk won't have regenerated yet? If he is still hungry after this, is it time to give a formula top up? Can't be good to have baby crying from hunger all day, also it means I can't sleep which must be bad for milk prodection.

Just remember that your job at the moment should just to be to look after yourself and your DC, (actually, if possible DP should be looking after you!) - so don't feel bad if all you're doing is feeding.

I've said lots of times before that DS fed in the evenings for up to 6 (or occasionally more) hours regularly until about 10 weeks, although it got gradually better. At first it didn't make me feel any better that people kept telling me it was normal, and to just go with it, but when you've had a chance to take it all in and accept you're going to do nothing but feed for a while, it helps. At 13 weeks we're now feeding almost as the rest of the day in the evenings, and getting to sleep around 8.30 - 9.30 instead of midnight!!

Fromheretomaternity last pieces of advice from me: I would be wary about expressing. I found that for me, it did tend to dry my milk supply so might do the opposite of what you are trying to achieve.

Also you didn't say: is you DC awake at all time when BF. Sometimes they have a tendency to fall asleep at the breast so they might need gentle stroking

Also as someone else pointed out, you have to do what you think is best for both you and your DC. I knew a lady who was so intent on breastfeeding her DC (when apparenlty she didn't have enough milk) that 1) she starved them to the point that her HV had to have a good talking to her 2) she was so stressed and feeling guilty all the time it was unbelievable (guilty because she was startving DC but couldn't stop herself, guitly that she couldn't BF, guilty when she had to mix fee) 3) she was desperately expressing to the point she was bleeding. She was so down/stressed about it, personally I couldn't understand why she would put herself through all this.

At the end of the day BF should be an enjoyable experience for both mum and baby and if it is not the case then alternatives should be considered.

This said, from what you wrote on this thread, I think you are doing really well.

Good luck and enjoy your DC

This situation sounds very familiar to me - I BF my two babies and had very different outcomes.

My DD fed non-stop and cried all the time when not on the breast. She lost weight in the first week post-birth (as per normal) but continued to do so. I was determined to BF, and tried everything, babymoons, demand feeding (ie all the time), eating more, resting all the time, etc etc. I had the midwife, health visitor, and NCT breast-feeding counsellor all offering advice. Apparently she was latching on correctly, ears and jaws moving properly ok etc. A plump 3.95kg at birth, at 5 weeks she looked like a little starved rat and I was a nervous wreck. Finally I was forced to offer her formula, she gobbled it down and from then on started to thrive. I felt intensely guilty, and expressed milk daily until she was weaned (only had enough to supplement 2 or 3 of her daytime feeds). The majority of her milk from 5 weeks was formula.

My DS was born in Holland where a maternity nurse comes to your house every day and helps you. Part of their very strict regime was daily weighing. After 4-5 days, worries were expressed about his weight. Part of me thought it was far too early to get fussed cos of course post birth there is always weight loss. However, they weighed him before and after every feed and found that after morning feeds he had taken in plenty of milk, but as the day progressed he had less and less milk. Was this due to my supply dwindling through the day, or due to his tiredness? Who knows.

Anyway, supplementary formula was recommended, and I so wanted to avoid the nightmare of my DDs first few weeks that I allowed it. After every feed I offered him 1-2oz of formula. Sometimes he wanted it, sometimes he didn't. He had it in a bottle though I tried a cup at first which wasn't successful. After 2-3 weeks of this, he no longer required the top-ups and I then continued to exclusively BF till 8 months.

No conclusions here, this is my personal experience, but please - be open minded. A few top-ups do NOT mean an end to BF. My son had more breast milk for longer because of them, so for me and him it worked.

fromheretomaternity you sound as though you are doing fab and your LO sounds very normal. I endorse what others are saying about tucking yourselves into bed together and feeding/sleeping together. My 1st DS1 sounds similar and he just seemed to always be hungry and always feeding. It is exhausting and that is why the going to bed thing is such a good idea. My DS3 is having a growth spurt at the moment and has literally been on the boob all day (he is 3 months). I am tired but know that this is a way of him building up my supply to accompany his growing body.
You'll probably have tonnes of milk tomorrow! Good luck with your LO. xx

fromheretomaternity - sorry to hear about hospital visit, it must have been scary.

But it's normal for your milk not to come in for several days (mine came day 5), this is nothing to do with your milk supply now!!! Also your breasts will feel less full as time goes on, that doesn't mean their not making milk, just that they're better at it.

Ditto what fondant was saying about farting and pooing, my ds also can't suck and wee at the same time! Just sit him up and lean him forward for a minute, if this doesn't work walk him round until he calms down, or change his nappy, just have a short break from grappling with the bfing and then try again when he starts to root - as someone else said if you hold baby close or use a sling you will pick up on this more quickly so it won't get to crying stage.

The little man may just be exhausted. When my ds was that age it often seemed like there just weren't enough hours in the day for all the sleeping and eating he needed to do. Seriously, just go to bed for a bit. I found it really helped me!

Starlight you asked about milk delay if bf does not get off to a good start....yes, 'tis true.

OP, without seeing what is happening no one can be sure this is all normal, and the only evidence is in your posts. But a baby who wants to feed a lot, be close to the breast a lot, who objects when this doesn't happen, is not (on that basis) a baby with a bf problem.

I am searching in your posts for other clues - soreness, baby not thriving, miserable baby even when feeding, fighting at the breast, no periods at all when the baby is asleep and content - and there aren't any!

I agree, Starlight, if baby is thriving and not losing weight, then obviously top-ups are not required now. However I did want to post my experience, as it was truly miserable having to see my DD so wretched and hungry all the time; and in fact for a longer time than she needed to have been..

If - let's hope not - OP does get to a time when all else has failed, at least she will know that others have been able to continue BF exclusively after a short period of using top-ups.

good luck OP!

I am just going to re post my earlier message in a deeply egocentric way(sorry!) - just in case you missed it. I know lots of women who have felt so much better in so many ways after a babymoon like this.

"If you can, try to spend tomorrow in bed with your baby, the tv remote, the telephone, a couple of good books and lots of delicious snacks and drinks. Cuddle him all the time, let him feed as much and as often as he wants to. You will get a rest, he will get lots of milk, and you will up your production if you need to. A babymoon like this can work wonders - and it's a lovely thing to do, you find yourself noticing all sorts of things about the shape of your baby's ears and the way his hair grows you've never seen before.

And try (I know,I know!) to relax. Breastfeeding is a learning curve - it gets easier all the time."

43today that's really interesting. I had a similar experience with my 6th baby. Bfing established quite quickly but after a while became difficult apart from the first feed of the morning. While I believed that breasts could never be empty all the signs were that there definitely wasn't enough there to satisfy her.
I'm not sure what was happening because I would feed for as long and whenever she wanted and even more than that to try and increase output.
She started to become a very unhappy baby at times. It was a difficult time but we got through to weaning at 6m+ and she seemed much better after that. So from that experience I am a bit sceptical when people say there is always milk there. There might be but maybe not always enough. I never had quite as bad problems with my other babies although there was always the seeming drop in supply at the end of the day.
I never gave formula because I thought that would be it and my milk would disappear completely, but I came very close and would have tried it if she had become more upset.

I'm awake now and feeding him again.

I will try to just spend more time on the feeding - but babymoons, 6hr feeds etc are all very well if i have absolutely nothing else to do, but not a long term solution - I have to cook, go to the supermarket, wash etc - life can't stop altogether?

hopefully fromheretomaternity it is just a 'growth spurt' they normally last a day or two, so if you can focus soley on feeding just for then everything should go back to normal pretty quickly.

Fromheretomaternity - ahh, and there is the crux of the problem. These days so many of us are supposed to look after a newborn AND continue with real life. It sucks. It's hard. When my LO was 8 days old DP went back to work and... nothing. That was it. I was all alone in my house with a new baby. The first newborn I had ever held in my life. Bloody terrifying. Totally exhausting.

It gets so much better though. As much as you can do put life on hold. Forget the housework, order a takaway, wear a headscarf! Accept any help offered and make sure your DP does anything and everything to help. It really won't be for long. Just look after your baby and try not to go mad. It will be so much easier very soon.

Broccoli is right it is hard.
DS2 is 5 days old, dp is back at work and i have a 7yo and a 3yo to look after.
The shopping can be done online whilst i feed and delivered when dp is here, practically everything else only gets done if i get a spare 5 mins whilst ds sleeps, his feeding is my most important task at the minute and anyone who sees the state of me will have to understand!
(i do have clean pjs on, but they were just changed cos of milk stains )

thanks all. starlight - the baby is my priority - but if i can't sleep or eat properly i just won't have the energy to look after him. community midwife came late last wk and gave me strict instructions to get more sleep and look after myself better, how can i do that if he wont stop feeding...?

9.15pm, he has been feeding for over 2 hrs since i woke up at 7, my nipples are getting very very painful. this is so difficult.

Gross Starlight!

Yes you DO need to wash! 2 weeks after my lo was born by c section I didn't shower for 2 days, I got an infection in my uterus that didn't clear for 3 weeks and the midwife told me (afterwards - helpful not) that I should have been showering twice a day! So maternity don't feel bad for taking time out for a shower! Just make sure you do it when dp is around to cuddle the little one, he really does need to be held all the time xxx

FromeheretoMaternity - it might be worth seeing a breast feeding counsellor to get the latch checked just to make sure your baby is feeding as efficiently as he should.

Also watch for him napping and still suckling. I swear my first did this all the time. I was a bit quicker to detach number two child.

DS manages to eat in his sleep - he seems like he's just half-heartedly sucking, but when he gets a let-down he'll happily swallow, but not wake up, so if I'm not trying to do something else and he's still latched on properly, I'll leave him on.

Oh, this is really bringing back memories. DS was just like maternity's baby. I swear there were days when I didn't move from the sofa (and he napped and sucked too - little fluttery sucks timed to occur just as I was thinking 'oh he's asleep, I'll put him down now'.)

It was hard and I found I had to ignore the dust bunnies. It didn't help that he was a truly crappy sleeper. OTOH, I got all my meals made and brought to me, and watched loads of daytime telly. IT did pass eventually. Re: shopping - do it online!

My first dd was like this too. I won't tell you the hours of "I'm a celebrity...." I watched when up all night. The sore boobs - (toe-curling), the hours of rocking with the kitchen extractor fan on full blast.

I used to get a max of 1.5 hours sleep at a time.

Feeding dd2 has been an absolute dream.

There were some things I think I didn't get right with dd1 though...

I was very low on iron without realising it - which was making it harder for me to cope.

I wasn't eating regularly enough - eg I was still trying to have dinner at 8pm with my dh, when I should have been eating at 5pm and going to bed with dd at 7.30pm!

I didn't get the latch completely right - due to stupid diagrams in my pg book. Once I saw the photos on the la leche league site I realised it was actually OK to hold the baby in the crook of your arm when feeding!

Also, I think the first 12 weeks are just pretty hellish. Most of the bfing stuff gets better, quicker and easier after this point, so it's worth persisting with.

I really wish I'd had someone who would come in the morningi, and leave a stack of sandwiches in the fridge so that I could eat during the day.

With dd2, I'd make a whole pile of sandwiches for myself (I got her in a sling earlier than dd2) and mad sure that I eat before she woke up for a feed.

Re baths - I would just have a lukewarm bath with my baby to make sure I had one very day. I'd get to wash my hair about once a week when dh was around.

Oh and get a sling. Then you can get out of the house, or make yourself something to eat. He can either feed or sleep while you move around.

I got a ring sling. V. easy to throw on round the house. Easy to bf in. And remember, this too shall pass. It really is only like this for a very short time.