Help! My 4 day old baby won't suck!

[Mollyfloss]

Ailish was born on Wednesday (ventouse delivery) weighing 6lbs 11 oz and was breastfed exclusively although I didn't really know what I was doing. The midwife noticed that her lower lip wasn't latching on properly and we worked on that. Anyway, she lost more than 10% of her birthweight by Friday afternoon and paediatrician said she had to get a formula top up and stay in until she regained weight. We fed her every 3 hours, breast first which she took ok at times but not so well other times (it was really hard work for her), then gave her expressed colostrum (because she didn't seem to be getting enough herself from the breast) and topped up on formula. When giving her expressed colostrum & formula we used teets that are as close as possible to boobs - if that's possible. Her weight went back up and we were discharged yesterday but we still have to do top-ups until the midwife comes tomorrow at least. My milk is starting to come in today. Now when I give her the breast, she has a great latch but just lies there and won't suck and often gets sleepy so I am expressing the milky colostrum and then if necessary giving her top up (all with the special teets that we were given at the hospital). The problem is not top-up here. In fact as my milk is almost in I don't think we will need to give her anymore (didn't on the last feed). The problem is I have to express the breast milk all the time because she won't suck. I've tried stripping her down, tickling her toes, blowing on her face etc but she just latches on and then lies there and sometimes falls asleep. She is possibly lazy because she has had a bottle. How can I get her to suck?

Molly congratulations on Ailish (lovely name btw )

4 weeks ago I wrote a thread about my 4 day old baby not latching on, so I know how you're feeling. The help and support I got on here was fantastic and these ladies are a big part of the reason I'm now BFing, largely successfully.

My issues were different to yours, but also started when my milk came in. The best thing I did was the babymoon. My DD and I did it for a whole day pretty much. We just lay in bed, had lots of skin to skin contact and I let her just do her thing and eventually she latched on and fed.

Obviously I'm far from an expert, but just wanted to give you my support.

Do try not to get all upset over this - I came out of hospital thinking I was a total failure and my DD was not able to feed properly. Being on here made me realise that lots and lots of women have issues at first and most of us get them sorted and go on to BF happily.

I was just thinking today (by 4 weeks you have some time for thinking again ) about how hard it must be for a baby to go from having automatic food in the womb to having to figure out how to feed. I know a lot of it is instinctive but still pretty amazing - no wonder some of them take a little while to get it.

Thanks everyone for your support. I'll keep all your advice in mind and persevere!

I hope it's going well Molly.

i had this with my just prem dd(born at 36 weeks). she wouldnt suck - went to bf clinic and was great. they recommended skin to skin and a 'rugby tackle' hold so she was horizontal when i brought her to the breast - kind of lying on her side, and brought full on to nipple so she couldnt fail to see it! it worked after lots of practice but the clinic was great - so good to meet others who had problems as i feared it was just me. later she slept on top of duvet between the 2 of us and i slept naked so she could snuggle up all night long and feed without waking me. so cozy!
hospital was crap imo, the mw assumed i had done it all before as i have 2 dsc who visited and refused to give me help with anything saying i'd done it before they had to help the first time mums! so i had to bath and change her all alone terrified i'd drown/break her!

Hang on, ska, this was the first child you had given birth to yourself and she made the assumption that your dsc's were your dc's and gave you no help???

i've been asked by every hcp how i was feeding ds, when i said bf they all asked 'did you bf the others' because even third time mums can be first time bfers!

When ds4 was born he took to the nreast isntantly and the (dopey) MW said she could see I'd BF well before- actually ds1 and ds2 failed to thrive and ds3 was mixed feed after a few months (although part bf until 16 months) due to weight loss

Bad to make assumptions!

Just a quick update: Ailish started taking to the breast on Monday afternoon. After a lot of time out, skin to skin etc. she started slowly sucking and has done a bit at each feed. It is a big effort for her but she is making progress. It's still not enough alone so I am expressing too with the hospital grade meleda symphony pump. Basically at each feed I express first, then give her the breast for as long as she can, then the EMB. It's very time consuming because bottles & funnels etc have to be sterilised. Every feed takes an hour minimum, usually more like an hour and a half. I have the help of a someone who knows a lot about breastfeeding which has made all the difference. She watches every feed, helps with positions, demonstrates etc. I would not have been able to do this alone. It's an art that has to be mastered! Sunday was a real low for me with the milk coming in, my hormones all over the place and the BF not happening. All your support was great. I'll no doubt be continuing this for a while as Ailish builds her strength. Hopefully I will get to the point where I don't need to express but it will be a while yet. The ventouse delivery seems to have had an effect on her but she is getting more and more strength in her sucking now and she roots for food etc. I think she needed a good rest after the delivery. Otherwise she is quite a content little baby, really one cries when she needs to be changed or is hungry. Of course that may change as she becomes stronger and livens up more. The midwife comes tomorrow and we will see how her weight is. On Monday it was the same as Saturday when she left the hospital but apparently that's completely normal. By the way, we only used formula top up on Friday and Saturday and I think it was very good for her as it got her weight back up and that is the most important thing after all.

Right, I really should be sleeping now as there is so little time between feeds but I am too wired! No doubt I will catch up with a big nap in the afternoon.

Molly, when I was expressing in hospital while DS wasn't sucking, I had a feed in hand (or rather in the fridge!) so that he could (try to) feed from a full breast so he didn't have to work so hard, then gave him the EBM from the last feed, then pumped ready for the next feed. It worked loads better than pumping at the time for each feed. Also in hospital, I just had a lidded tub with sterilising solution in, and was told after each use I only needed to rinse the pump parts under the tap and put them back in the solution. Then at each pumping time all I needed to do was take the buts out and give them a shake to dry them off a bit. Might make things a bit less hectic?

I was going to suggest expressing after the feed too, or at least the opposite breast to which ailish is taking, just because i know alex finds it more satisfying/quicker at the beginning of a feed.
Pleased it's picking up for you though, also to back up what knitter said, i dont think you have to do so much faffing with sterilising, have you a cold water steriliser and some milton?

So glad it's going better, Molly!

Thanks for the advice. Ailish has managed some full feeds from the breast with out the expressed stock and so I now have a little stock of breast milk. I am also expressing after feeds if needed. We are making great progress and hopefully in a few days there will be no more expressing at all. Fingers crossed!

Oh and I forgot to say the most important bit. The midwife cam and weighed Ailish yesterday (one week after her birth) and her weight is no above her birth weight!

(I understand now why so many women give up BF as it can be so hard. If I didn't have help it is quite likely that Ailish would be on formula now)

Excellent, Molly, Well done!

YAY!
Good Lass Ailish

So glad its going better now for you Molly and well done you and Ailish for persisting

Only just seen this, Molly - WELL DONE! Big congratulations on persevering. I second/third/fourth the babymoon and the other thing that has worked for me has been not looking at the clock (unless I think it's been more than three hours) - I can be a bit obsessive and it's been much better for me this time just to follow Evie's cues. Obviously if Ailish has not been giving you any clues that's pretty useless advice, but babymooning did wonders for us. With any luck the hospital pump should help free up your time for a bit more rest - the vicious circle of being tired and stressed and then worrying that your fatigue and stress are affecting your milk supply (ad infinitum) is horrible. Am so glad you have great support. Big big hugs and congratulations. Xx