Should I give up breastfeeding?

[FTM072024]

Hi all,

My baby will be 4 weeks old in a couple of days.

Before she was born, I was so committed to breastfeeding. I bought all the equipment, products (pump, silver cups, balms etc) and harvested my colostrum.

she was 2 weeks overdue and her birth ended up being quite a traumatic one, it was long, I ended up with suspected sepsis and therefore had an emergency section. I was on a lot of antibiotics for 10 days after she was born.

as a result, breastfeeding took longer to establish. Finally when she was 2 weeks we made good progress. But she then took thrush in her mouth, which we both have had to be treated for. I think this was due to all of the antibiotics.

just as the thrush was clearing, I ended up with mastitis, which I’m on even more antibiotics for now. I’ve started to notice the thrush is coming back.

im just at my breaking point, the thrush never seems to clear because of the constant antibiotics. It feels like a constant cycle. I’m in constant pain when I try to feed.

i wanted to breastfeed to give my baby the best possible start but instead I just keep giving her thrush and I’m stressed out.

please could anyone advise on whether giving up would be warranted at this stage, or if you have any experience of pushing through this sort of thing?

thanks

It is better for your baby if you are not stressed. I would vote for putting her on a bottle and enjoying her. She will be fine.

Give it up and buy some bottles and formula. My babies were fine - now in their 20s: rarely ill and good careers.
Your baby will be fine too.
(Your breasts will be incredibly sore for a few days though until you stop making milk).

The main question is - do you want to? What’s best for you? If you want to continue you can and get support. If you want to stop then you can and get support.

I always promised myself I’d never stop on a bad day!

It doesn't have to be all or nothing - would combi feeding work for you?

I think, if you wanted to breastfeed, you will feel cheated if you stop now. You're at least halfway to the point where it gets much easier.

I would join one of the breastfeeding groups on Facebook with trained admins- Breastfeeding and Lactation Support UK or Breastfeeding Yummy Mummies are good starting points. They are both run entirely by volunteers, most of them with their own children, so you are unlikely to get an instant response, but they have lots of guides to read whilst you wait for help. You can make a post or ask for 1-2-1 inbox assistance.

Alternatively, you can hire a lactation consultant for more extensive support.

It took me until about 8 weeks to be settled with breastfeeding. We had weight gain (had to combi feed for a while), nipple pain (used shields) and tongue tie issues, so very different. Personally I'm really glad I didn't give up, but you do sound like you're having a bad time of it. Maybe try and get through this bad patch but if it happens again take that as time to give up. Just a suggestion. You must do what feels right for you. There's nothing wrong with bottle feeding.

please could anyone advise on whether giving up would be warranted at this stage

Switching to formula is "warranted" at any stage (I don't think warranted is the right word because it suggests you need to have a good reason, which you don't, you can stop whenever).

But having said that, it is also probably going to get much easier. There are some good support groups around, as well as phone lines which can offer support. If it's something you really wanted to do, you might feel better about it if you give those a try first.
I had mastitis and thrush with my first and ended up feeding for just over two years.
My second I had a much easier time, but decided to switch to combi feeding after a few months anyway.

When on antibiotics have lots of yoghurt with live bacteria/ kefir. They counter some of the effects of antibiotics

Can you feed baby on a bottle and express/throw away milk until you are free of antibiotics. You have a choice then to restart when feeling better.

Was baby also treated for thrush?
You will end up in a loop if only one of you is being treated!

I would say your in the thick of it at the moment which is bloody tough and also it takes quite a while to establish feeding for many that's a good 6-8 weeks for some it's more.

The important aspect is how you are feeling you do not need permission to stop bf but given you have had mastitis going cold turkey is not a good idea either as you risk it again. You need to reduce gradually.

Do you have a local bf or feeding group nearby? Much to contrary beliefs they do not ram bf down your throat etc. The NCT feeding helpline is also really good support wise.

I have been through the thrush cycle with DS1 and also had to fight for the NICE guidelines to be followed - swabs should be first and foremost.

Personally I would question the repeat thrush diagnosis (I work in infant feeding) it’s incredibly over diagnosed. Babies get a white tongue from the milk. Geniuine thrush looks like cauliflower over the roof of the mouth, lips and tonsils. You would also feel like you have knives deep in your breasts. If suspected thrush is making you want to give up definitely question it. If you want to stop for other reasons so what you think best for your family, but I would give it two more weeks, 6 weeks is generally when bf gets easier

I was a bit spooked reading this because almost exactly the same happened to me! The suspected sepsis, section, antibiotics, thrush and mastitis- I’ve got the badge for all of them! It is bloody tough.

I absolutely agree with PPs- fed is best. Your little one will get the most benefit from having a healthy and happy mummy.

Just to share my own experience in case it is helpful- my little girl is now 6 months and I’m EBF after finally getting the thrush cleared. I did have to have a bit of support with combi feeding and pumping to keep my supply up whilst the creams kicked in and cleared the thrush. So it might be worth you looking into that. I was lucky because my local authority have a great breastfeeding support service and they were really helpful with suggestions.

In terms of how you are feeling- please you are right in the thick of it with BF now. I honestly found it incredibly tough until about 8-10 weeks, when I kind of realised ‘we have totally got the hang of this now!’. I totally didn’t realise the mental and physical toll it would take, and I wasn’t expecting to find it so exhausting and frustrating. And I know so many other woman who feel the same, even without extra issues like thrush! I had read so much about the mechanics and science of it that, looking back now, I was totally naive to the reality of it. BUT, that does make it incredibly rewarding now I’m over that hurdle. So I’m very glad I stuck with it, personally.

In short OP, you have done amazing well by doing it up until this point- you’ve given her system a good old boost already! If you can push through it, it will be totally worth it, but absolutely not at the detriment to your mental and physical health. Only you know where that line is and how much you can tolerate before transitioning to a more suitable method. The fact you are worrying about this at all is a sign you are a brilliant mum and you r baby will be absolutely fine regardless.

Giving up is warranted at any stage. If you feel this will be better for you then stop and switch to formula.

If you're keen to continue, try one more week and see how it goes, or try to supplement with formula but not give up breastfeeding altogether and continue one or two feeds a day.

You don't need to justify stopping though. If you are better off not doing it then you should stop.

I think you are in the middle of another crisis right now and you may regret stopping once things have settled. Of course a fed baby is best and if feeding is causing you more stress than you can cope with then think about cutting down, but don’t do it cold turkey as you can end up with more problems.
My baby is 3 months old and I am breastfeeding. She has had thrush 3 times now and I haven’t even been on antibiotics. I’ve never had this problem with my other 2. Basically it became a cycle of me getting it and giving it to her and vice versa. The doctor did say that the cream you get prescribed (clotrimazole) might need to be used for weeks rather than just the one week to try and break the cycle.
I would agree that at 4 weeks you are probably half way to cracking the feeding and it should get a lot easier by then. One thing that helps me is I have always introduced one bottle of formula a day so I can have a break from feeding and I know baby can take a bottle if need be. So you could perhaps think about doing that, but probably not for a couple more weeks until feeding is definitely established.

Only you know what you can cope with and whether you can carry on but I think you have battled this far it would be a shame not to. But please do what’s best for you mentally as it can have lasting effects if you continue to struggle. Congratulations on your baby and well done for getting this far.

Another vote for you to ask for infant feeding support.

Read some great advice if you want to continue BF;
1 it gets easier
2 have some natural yogurt - great advice
3 is it really thrush as yet often over diagnosed
4 do you actually enjoy breastfeeding week going well?
5 can you combination feed (again ask your local BF support team to do this best way)

Breastfeeding is incredibly difficult so well done for getting this far. The important thing is that baby is fed and you are mentally and physically ok. If formula is the best thing for both of you then do it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with feeding with formula.

Just from my own experience, I had mastitis and then have had thrush from the antibiotics since my LO was 3 weeks old. She is now 11 weeks and I’m just getting over the thrush. Fortunately my LO did not get it off me but has been treated as a preventative measure the entire time. Thrush is incredibly painful and I have no idea how I managed to keep going but ibuprofen and fluconazole have been my best friends! The wounds on my nipples have now finally healed and the deep burning pain each feed has finally gone. There was a definitely a link between the wounds and the thrush as until those completely healed there was little improvement but thrush slows down healing of open wounds so it’s a bit of a fight even with a good latch. There is some residual thrush left on my skin surface but that’s fading too with the correct treatment. It is now such a pleasure to feed and I’m so happy I persevered.

If you do choose to continue, I would recommend asking your GP for fluconazole to be prescribed alongside your antibiotics given your history. The fluconazole should keep the thrush at bay whilst you’re on antibiotics. I recently had a course of antibiotics for something unrelated and, despite one wound still being open, the thrush did not get worse again as I was already taking fluconazole. Interestingly in Romania GP’s always prescribe thrush treatment alongside antibiotics due to the link! Also check out the La Leche page on thrush and breastfeeding for appropriate management and treatment - I sent that page to my GP and they now follow the advice as standard as they were a bit flummoxed before on what to do!

Ultimately you need to do what feels right for you. Baby will be fed and happy either way. You do not need to justify formula feeding or reach a certain threshold for it to be ‘warranted’. Your mental and physical health is also important.

You've done the hard bit and it usually does get better from 4 weeks in.

If you really want to breastfeed then I suggest giving it another couple of weeks.

Most problems happen during the first 6 weeks and are resolved by then. After that it gets easier and then it gets easy.

The first weeks are definitely very tough but after that things do get better.

Thank you everyone for your replies and for the extremely helpful advice.

I have a lot more hope than I did 24 hours ago after hearing from people who have had very similar experiences to my own and who have still managed to have positive BF journeys.

I’m taking things one day at a time- I’m back to expressing in order to ‘break the cycle’ with the thrush and I’m nearing the end of my mastitis antibiotics so hopefully that will also help.

I’ve stocked up on natural live culture yogurt and am going to try to get my immune system back to some level of normality.

I also appreciate those who reassured me that stopping BF is ok too- I have put so much pressure on myself.

who knows what the next week will entail (the past three have had plenty of curveballs), but I’ll push ahead for now.

thank you again!

Another bit of invaluable breastfeeding advice I got was not to quit on a bad day.