I feel so guilty about the prospect of giving up bfing.

[HeadFairy]

I'm going back to work in 10 days and I really can't see a way I'll still be able to bf. I do a stupid job which allows me no time or privacy to pump in, and my milk supply is really dwindling as it is so if I can't pump when I'm at work then I'm sure it'll disappear. DS has been bf'd for 7 months now but I feel so wracked with guilt that I can't carry on.

You have a legal right to a private space at work in which to pump. Hang on, will see whether I can find something for you.

why not just try it,. see how it goes rather than stressing about officially 'giving up'?
your supply may surprise you
either way - do not feel guilty, pointless emotion. The kind of mother who should feel guilty would not be posting your op.

sorry my emotions are so pointless steathpolarbear, can't help the way I feel. I do appreciate it may not be all doom and gloom but currently I'm feeling very down about it.

policywonk, there is absolutely no way of doing it, I'm a news camerawoman, out on the road all the time, don't even get privacy in my car as I'm always ferrying journos around.

sorry my emotions are so pointless steathpolarbear, can't help the way I feel. I do appreciate it may not be all doom and gloom but currently I'm feeling very down about it.

policywonk, there is absolutely no way of doing it, I'm a news camerawoman, out on the road all the time, don't even get privacy in my car as I'm always ferrying journos around.

HF -
Do you get breaks of any kind at work?
Could you express now to try and build up a bit of a stockpile?
How often is ds feeding?

I know how upset you must feel.

7 months is a long time, you should be feeling really proud! You could try and carry on though when you are with your ds though, it's amazing how your supply can adapt, and if it doesn't it's not the end of the world.

HeadFairy - policywonk is right.

You have a statutory right to the means by which to continue to breastfeed. This is enshrined in Health & Safety legislation and (I think) European equality law. This is not your problem, but your employer's. Facilities and adjustments to duties should be made in order to preserve your breastfeeding.

I totally understand that the job you do makes it very, very difficult.

But not impossible.

If it's really too difficult, then you do not need to give up breastfeeding - breastfeed when you are with your baby, and you may, as SPB says, be surprised

thanks chibi and beansmum, i do currently express to give ds a top up bottle before bed, he had weight gain issues when he was very young so we got in to the habit, he struggles to get to sleep without it now. Unfortunately even that's disappearing. I used to be able to get 4oz per pumping session and now I can barely get two out.

I've got a stockpile in the freezer but I don't think it'll last too long. It's just an emergency fall back. He's currently feeding three or four times a day.

I do realise I'm being a bit gloomy about the whole thing, maybe it's the impending prospect of returning to work that's getting me down. And of course being gloomy makes the whole supply issue worse! I think the thing that's playing on my mind is a comment I read on here when someone said that every bf does a baby good and every formula feed does them harm. I don't know if that's strictly true but I can't get it out of my head.

You might find your DS will reverse cycle, i.e. Nurse more in the evenings/night when you are around and reduce or refuse milk when you are away.

HeadFairy - at seven months, the risks of formula which apply to a younger baby are just not there. The baby of seven months is already on other foods and possibly drinks. Formula is just 'another non-breastmilk food' once a baby is getting established on solids, truly.

My personal choice would be not to give formula to a breastfed baby over 6 mths but not because I think 'every formula feed does harm'at that stage, because it doesn't - but because formula is (necessarily) a processed product and because a baby of this age who is also being breastfed really does not need it!

He can have dairy-rich solids (fromage frais, yogs, cheese) when you are away, and water if you are worried about his hydration levels. Then when you are with him, you can breastfeed him to ensure his milk intake remains satisfactory.

The lower yield you are getting with expressing is normal with long-term expressing...only way to amend it is to feed and/or express more.

HeadFairy, I had a similar worry to you. My son is 8mo and I am going back to work 3 days a week from Monday. My DS won't take a bottle and has never had formula, however he eats a lot of solid food and drinks plenty of water, so I am planing to BF him in the morning before leaving (about 7am) and again when I collect him from nursery (5pm-ish) then once before bed. I am sure he will continue having one or two feeds at night, so am not too worried about his milk intake during the day.

You don't have to give formula, and you don't need to give up BFing - as a previous poster said, you will hopefully find that your milk suply adjusts itself

Thanks for that tiktok, that does take a weight off my mind, I don't know why I was obssessing about formula harming him! Just got fixated. I do understand about the processed food thing though, he's never had a jar of anything either, I've busted a gut to make sure he's had lots of lovely home cooked food, so it's such a shame to face the prospect of giving him formula. I know I'm being very precious, but bfing was very hard work for me, and the thought of stopping is very depressing having got this far.

Extrafancy, that sounds like a perfect arrangement, I hope it all goes well for you. That would work perfectly for me as I currently feed him at 8am, 4pm, 6pm and 10pm. My shifts are not conducive to that though, 7am-7pm or 11am-11pm. On the 7am start I'll pump before I go to work and then do his dreamfeed at 10pm and on my 11am start I'll feed him in the morning and then pump when I get home. I'm really hoping that'll be enough to keep things going. As I only work a 7 day fortnight I'd like to be able to feed him a bit more on my days off. Fingers crossed it'll all hold out.

Headfairy I'm sorry my first post was a bit stupid, I didn't mean it to sound like that.
I certainly didn't mean to have a go at you for feeling guilty, just that IMO whichever option ends up working, you will have nothing to feel guilty for.
The judgey comment was flippant, I meant there are many things I judge people for, but bf/ff is not one of them!
However, I completely misinterpreted the tone of your post, and my reply was not helpful, I really do apologise.

"bfing was very hard work for me, and the thought of stopping is very depressing having got this far"
yes, i can understand that, sorry Hope it all works out. When i am away from ds (tho i work 'normal' hours) he doesn't have a feed all day, when i am here he is fed on demand as usual, and i haven't really noticed any problems.

that's ok, I'm a bit uppity at the moment too, not normally bothered by any comments, it's a free world, but I guess the hormones are raging. Time for more chocolate I think I'm feeling a lot more positive about everything, have just had a lovely chat with my sister who also works long shifts and she said she managed to fit bfing around her shifts without having to pump at work, feeding in the morning and pumping in the evening, and she works 14 hour days!

BTW, your job sounds completely cool in almost all other respects!

Glad you are feeling more poitive
(And have a bar of dairy milk on me)

It is policywonk... and esp now we're coming in to summer. I'm actually an editor by trade so I usually spend my working day in a dark windowless room so I'm really looking forward to being out in the sunshine.

stealthpolarbear... consider it done