How to get over guilt of giving formula

[Pitstop1986]

I'm exclusively pumping for my little boy, who is 8 months old. I've dropped my pumps in preparation for going back to work in a week and my supply has tanked.

We have been supplenting formula for the feeds that I cannot supply, but as my output falls and falls and we're giving more formula, I have an overwhelming sense of mum guilt. I feel awful not being able to feed my boy myself.

I know that legally work have to give me a break to pump, but I'm a nurse and anyone who works in healthcare will know that breaks are irregular and not always guaranteed so I wanted to be able to go without pumping during the day to accommodate this.

So without adding extra pumps, I feel like my supply will soon dry up and I'm just not ready to stop being able to provide for him.

Fed is best. You’ve already given him a great start with BF for that long. I was a purely formula fed baby. I’m one of the healthiest adults I know

Of course you are providing for him. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Your child is fed and thriving and you have done a brilliant job producing all that milk over the past 8 months. Now that he's getting big enough to start exploring the world with many senses including taste the benefit to him continuing to have breastmilk rather than formula is scientifically undetectable and feeling negative about it is purely a psychological issue in your own brain. Your brilliance as a mum has precisely zero link to you ability to priduce milk now. The important bit where it made a noticeable difference stopped months ago and your baby can still nurse from you for comfort at night for as long as you are both happy to do so but it's quite right and reasonable for him to be getting nutrition from multiple sources including formula while you are at work earning to provide for your family.

When he's 5 he'll be mainlining haribo. Don't worry that you're feeding him nutritionally complete food x

Honestly, please give yourself a break. I promise you that you’ll not be giving this a second thought in a year or so. Mine are now 8 and 5 and I can’t believe how much I used to worry about what they ate. Now I consider myself a good parent as I ration ice creams to one per day! The fact you care means you’re a good parent.

If your best friend told you that they felt guilty for giving their child formula in this situation OP what would you say to them?

He's had breast milk for 8 months and before long he won't be having any milk at all so I really wouldn't worry about this last bit. As pp said, it won't be long before he's on the haribo and what milk he had will be a distant memory.

You are just providing for him in a different way now. It is hard when stages end, but he needs all the things your job will provide for him. He is old enough now that he doesn't need your milk as much. Please try not to feel guilty.

I can't imagine how hard it must have been to pump for 8 months.

Is DS taking the formula and is he happy?

Also, if you're struggling with your feelings about the transition to formula you can always give one of the BFCs a call on one of the BFing Helplines

Do you only pump or are you bf as well?
I went back to work when DD was 9 months and my supply adjusted quite quickly to bf morning/evening and weekends. I never got the hang of pumping and by then she was also on solids so my bf time was enough - did quite a lot of night feeding though which was tiring.

But really, formula is fine - don't feel guilty.