Unable to pump and wedding…advice needed!

[MochaLove]

Hi everyone, some advice would be very much appreciated.

I have a wedding to attend which is around 40 mins away next month, baby will be nearly 8 months old. She is EBF, we had a difficult time with feeding at the start and I worked hard to get my supply to where it is. I’ve never left her for more than a few hours. Unfortunately I am unlucky as I’m unable to really pump, I will only get something like 10-20ml out even if sat there for ages. At present, baby still feeds every 3 hours at least in the day, if not more frequently.

Obviously baby has started solids but isn’t really eating much. I am willing to pump over lots of days and get enough for a feed for the day - wedding starts later and is a 1:30pm arrival which is good. I am also considering driving back from the wedding to feed if really needed then return.

My questions are, if I don’t feed for say, 8 hours, missing a few feeds, is this likely to cause me issues or mess with my supply? Will not pumping at the wedding for that time cause me pain or something like mastitis? I don’t even own a pump as it was pointless…tried a couple at the start which was the hospital grade one from midwives and then another borrowed from a friend. The wedding is our good friends but I am not willing to impact my supply for the sake of someone’s wedding day, and truthfully if there’s a chance it will mess with my supply then I would rather not go.

Thank you if you got this far and honest advice appreciated 🙏🏼

I can only answer based on my own experience but there's no way I could've gone that long if I was usually feeding every 3 hours without leaking and being in pain. I would take spare clothes. As a one off it shouldn't mess your supply up.

Sorry, but just to be clear, is your baby not welcome at the wedding?

Thank you. I have never really leaked properly, more than a very small amount and never needed to use breast pads! Though will be prepared that it could still happen.

Yes unfortunately she isn’t, I did mention I’d have to potentially leave the wedding to go home and breastfeed and then come back, and they just said ok. I’d 100% be taking her if I could, as I don’t particularly want to leave her anyway.

Maybe eating more food in a month’s time and not feeding so frequently.

Is there any way your baby and partner can stay locally to the wedding so you don't have to drive far for feeds? It is just driving 40 minutes home plus 40 minutes driving back plus the feeding time seems like a long time to be out of a wedding especially given you are feeding more frequently than every 3 hours.

I'd look up a few videos on hand expressing. Just in case you get uncomfortable at the wedding. Then you can just express into a glass or a napkin for comfort.

Your supply will be pretty robust at this age but you will get uncomfortable and there is a risk of mastitis. Could you try a cheap manual hand pump? Some people do best with hand expression. I never really managed to get the hang of it but no equipment needed of course!

You might find that your baby will eat more to compensate and feed more when you're together again.

You're a very good friend for attending and considering driving there and back to feed. So many people just do not understand how difficult it is to leave breastfed babies.

It won't impact your supply.
But you might feel very uncomfortable. Hand expressing some might keep you from getting engorged but I think I would plan not to stay late.

it would be easier for the baby to come to you than you go home to the baby. Hotel room nearby? Or partner and baby drop you at venue, you go party while baby and partner go out somewhere, then you feed her and they go home, you follow later.

I wouldn’t go to the wedding, if you normally feed every 3 hours you’re going to be stuck in a bathroom cubicle trying to hand express getting in a mess wishing you weren’t there. You also can’t expect a baby to understand you’re at a wedding so needs to eat more solids. It’s a pain but I think it’s your best option.

Is the reception at a hotel or near one? Would having her and whoever's caring for her stay nearby be an option. I would have gotten really sore and leaked heaps going that long, but then I also leaked a bit normally. I could pump but none of mine would take a bottle anyway.

@RedDyeInMyEye @timetobegin sorry I should’ve said my partner is attending the wedding as well. My family are looking after our baby but they also have a puppy, so I can’t really ask them to stay near the venue.

Are the flanges on your pump the correct size for you? This can really affect output.

I was also going to ask about whi h pump you're using, and flanges. You can get flange cushions which improve the fit. Most flanges are far too big.

My understanding is that what you're proposing won't impact supply. It's well established and you're only missing a few feeds.

I think I’d ask them to leave the puppy,

After feeding her..
Get a bowl of very hot water and a sterilised glass jug.
Lean over the bowl with naked breasts and gently squeeze your breasts towards the nipple into the jug.( it's actually like milking a cow.. sorry but it is).
Keep doing this between feeds.
The more you do it the more milk will flow.. change the water if it starts cooling down.

Or just hand express like a regular person without that faff, using the warmth of your hands, very very gentle tapping massage or a warm shower to help stimulation but not absolutely necessary.

Thank you everyone for your advice and replies! Sorry I should’ve clarified that I have hand expressed previously but I still only manage to get a small amount of milk out whereas my baby is obviously much better at getting it. Strange how it works like that! I think realistically I will have to have an honest conversation with the couple, and say I likely won’t be able to attend for much of the day/give them the option of someone else taking my spot.

@MochaLove you say you'd rather not leave her anyway. If I were you I'd cancel. If you do, please don't feel bad about it. I do think there's not enough understanding of mothers and breastfeeding. Your child is more important than their wedding, whether that's how they feel about it or not.