Please help a clueless first time mum!!

[Thriving30]

Hi all, hoping you can help me.
I had an emergency c section on Monday last week. My initial plan from the beginning was to exclusively breast feed. Struggled with this in hospital, we were there until Friday. Baby girl struggling to latch then becoming frustrated/screaming, or having a couple of sucks then either falling asleep or being disinterested. I was shown how to hand express (I couldn't get enough to actually fill a syringe), expressing colustrum with pump which worked, nipple shields which I had been told I shouldn't have been given (but also did work).

Staff said my technique is perfect, but when they have all assisted with feeding they've never successfully got her to have a good feed/latch. So they just tell me to persevere.

She was having no wet or dirty nappies so staff recommended a feeding plan where I express what I can and then top up with formula. Then she was taken off it the next day bc another staff member said it was too early.

Since then I've been expressing every 3 hrs and giving through a bottle (getting approx 50ml total, so about 25ml from each boob) but it's so hard, it seems like it isn't satisfying her so I always have to top up with formula.

She has quite a bad tongue tie which complicates things because she will have to re-learn how to latch when she has this corrected.
To top it off I have mastitis so am on antibiotics at the moment as well!

I was wondering, do I just go back to basics, literally skin to skin constantly, allow her to figure out breastfeeding? She will scream and scream until red in the face which is really difficult but is this the way they learn? Should I use a nipple shield? And do I use the shield until she gets her tongue tie corrected then try and get her to latch again.

I have spoken to feeding team since leaving hospital, again they just said continue combination feeding but it's not where I want to be and it's definitely not sustainable to be pumping every 3 hrs.
Thank you so much for any advice

Firstly congratulations on your baby! It’s sound like you’re doing brilliantly.

Please don’t be afraid to use nipple shields. They saved my breastfeeding journey with my first, I wore them for every feed for about eight weeks and then he naturally just weaned himself off them and fed without them. You could try without them after the tongue tie is cut but again if it works better with them then no harm in sticking with it. I found feeds just took a lot longer with them on than without.

Your baby might latch no problem after the tongue tie is cut, or you might need to work on it still. A lot of those early days and weeks are about continually making sure your position and latch is right and working on it - breastfeeding definitely isn’t as easy as some people would have you believe.

Screaming until they’re red in the face doesn’t sound normal to me but that’s just based on my experience. How often are you attempting to feed? It’s really normal to be doing it round the clock early on, even if you’ve just fed 20 minutes ago they might need feeding again. Could she be going too long without feeds and then being too hungry and upset to latch properly? Every three hours definitely is not enough.

Feeding frequently is also the best way to boost your supply, skin to skin is great for this too and make sure you’re eating and drinking lots.

If I was you I’d hide out in bed with baby for a couple of days, as much skin to skin and feeding as possible to up your supply and give baby chance to get the hang of it, while giving you chance to rest too. Use the shields if that works. Call the breastfeeding support network - they’re amazing! And if funds allow you could always look into an ICBLC.

There are some great breastfeeding resources online too.

Good luck!

This was literally me with my 1st child. There was so much faff, feeding plans, nipple shields, pumping endlessly, feeding/osteocraniopath referrals, formula top ups, tongue tie, SO many tears etc. In the end I pumped for 6 months and ruined the early months with my baby. 2nd and 3rd child I applied common sense and gave formula when breastfeeding didn't work. I had the best time with my 2nd and 3rd babies. I really think too much pressure is applied to new mums to do everything possible to breastfeed. Honestly I don't think it's worth all that. Persevere of course, but only if YOU really want to. My kids are 9, 6 and 1.5 now, and the way they were fed as babies never enters my mind. Happy mum = happy baby.

My first child couldn't latch after birth and nipple shields also saved our journey. I weaned him off them after 3 weeks and fed for 2.5years.
If your are bottle feeding breast milk make sure you are pace feeding, otherwise they drink it too fast and their body doesn't register how much they actually want and still have feeding cues. Also they are at risk of botttle preference. 50ml a feed should be plenty at 1 week old.

My second child i chose to exclusively pump. We topped up with formula until my milk properly came in probably around a week. I was then making more than double what she needed so it was quite easy and we stopped using formula.

But you need to get the tongue tie corrected ASAP. Id personally go private if you really want to breastfeed. I think its about £150 and they are experts in it. A lot of healthcare professionals give wrong advice regarding tongue tie. Once that's corrected it will hopefully help but be prepared for major cluster feeding (which is normal) and try and trust your baby and body that you will be giving enough. I think my son latched 15 times a day in the first few weeks, its hard work.

Equally dont put too much pressure on yourself, take one day at a time. At the end of the day any breast milk is beneficial. :)

Congratulations on your baby!

Much of your experience resonates with me with my firstborn, now 17 and thriving. She was an emergency c-section, also tongue-tied, and this was not corrected until she was 3 months old. I felt under immense pressure to breastfeed and I really really tried to - but we combination fed with formula from very early on - and she went at that bottle like a beast possessed - even straight after a breastfeed. When I expressed, I would produce very little. It was soul-destroying. If you want to persevere, then get as much support as you can. But also, you are allowed to give yourself permission to formula feed - and your beautiful baby will be just fine.

I have a 5 month old who didn't latch after the c section and had tongue tie but has successfully exclusively breastfed since 4 weeks old after a few weeks of triple feeding (pumping, feeding expressed milk and trying to BF)

do I just go back to basics, literally skin to skin constantly, allow her to figure out breastfeeding?
Yes absolutely, and don't be afraid to refuse visitors or remove yourself and baby to another room to do this. Get yourself comfy, do you have a partner oh the scene who can make sure you're fed and watered and do nappy changes for you?

nipple shield - i was Supported to use these by a local specialist feeding midwife. The idea was to offer baby the bare nipple. If that didn't work after 5 mins or so I was offer a feed with the nipple shield. Then once baby had fed for
5-10 mins on the shield to remove and re-latch baby on bare nipple. In practice I didn't manage 5 mins attempting bare nipple because it felt too stressful.

he will scream and scream until red in the face which is really difficult but is this the way they learn?
It's the way they communicate. I know it's really hard not to get stressed out by that but please try your best to breathe deeply and relax so your son can relax too.

Do you have a date for tongue tie correction? I went privately at 2 weeks old. It was another 2 weeks before he managed to latch.