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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Eye contact while breast-feeding and length of feeds. Am I doing it wrong?

24 replies

champagnesupernova · 08/04/2008 17:07

MY 11day old DS has been feeding well (hasn't lost any of his birth weight) and has a healthy appetite.

Having had one sore nipple for a few days, that breast is getting easier to feed on,(though still toe curling for the first 10 seconds or so) but now I'm wondering if I do have it right as DS doesn't look up at me but gazes at my upper arms. Should he be able to look at me? Is he aligned incorrectly? I do have him "tummy to mummy".

Also he's only feeding really for 10 mins at a time...does that sound too short to you?

TIA for any help.

OP posts:
mrsgboring · 08/04/2008 17:11

Re the eye contact thing, I never managed to have eye contact with DS whilst feeding - it gave me terrible backache, so I really wouldn't worry about that one. It will depend on your shape what he can see while he's on.

Given that your DS is gaining well, 10 minute feeds would seem to be fine too. Lucky you.

3andnomore · 08/04/2008 17:14

Hm...just trying to visualise it how my Kids looked when I looked down on them whilst they bf'ed...and I think that looking at your arm is pretty much o.k.....
They will not continouesly gaze lovingly into your eyes, iykwim

As for the amount of time he feeds...if he is thriving, then you are lucky enough to have a little one that can get plenty of milk in a short amount of time....my 2. ds was an exceptionally short feeder, compared to his older and younger brother...he would feed for 5 minutes most times and be done wiht it for a couple of hours, with plenty in him to puke up aswell, lol....

chunkypudding · 08/04/2008 17:59

hey champagnesupernova...

i found the lack of eye contact really weird at first - made me feel kind of sad that i was doing all this feeding and ds wasn't even aware of my existence!

however he really wasn't bothered bout looking at me despite my preconceptions that we'd be gazing into each others eyes..

hes now 12 weeks and sometmes looks at me. often just chows down. when he does decide to look me in the eye he usually starts grinning like a nutter which puts him off his stroke!

scuse the dodgy typing he's feeding now (arm over head like he's hiding!)

length of feeds is fine as long as plenty of pee n poo and no weight issues... it seems to change anyway so you may look back nostalgically on the speedy feeds that didn't root you to a chair for hours!

oops essay, sorry

canadianmum · 08/04/2008 20:25

my dd is 6 months and has only ever looked at my arm or underarm while feeding, must be the shape of my breasts I guess! Of course now she is bigger and pulls off every few minutes to smile at me while milk spurts all over everything .

Sounds like you and your lo are doing great!

MamaChris · 08/04/2008 21:28

All the books I read did say that a newborn can see about the distance from nipple to breast, so I found the total lack of eye contact disturbing too. Now he's 10 weeks and we make some eye contact when he feeds lying down, which is lovely. But it took a few weeks before he decided he'd rather look at me (at least sometimes) than at my armpit or the ceiling. As long as his weight's fine, I'd guess you're both doing great

cockles · 08/04/2008 21:36

I think it's the breast he's meant to make eye contact with not your face tbh - mine (now 2.5) still doesn't look at me when nursing! 10 mins is fine too, of course keep your feeds frequent & offer both sides if that helps, but some babies are just super-efficient feeders.

moondog · 08/04/2008 21:37

He's not 'meant' to do anything and neither are you.
As long as you are both happy,you are doing it perfectly.

PrettyCandles · 08/04/2008 21:38

I've breastsfed and bottlefed, and TBH in the early weeks or months got more eye-contact when bottlefeeding.

Keep it up, you're doing fantastically well (all 3 of mine took 3 weeks just to regain their birthweight!).

FloriaTosca · 08/04/2008 21:51

Well done on maintaining birth weight (mine dropped 10% in the first 3 days!) At 6 months he still doesnt make eye contact often and like candianmum it puts him off his stroke if he does.
The toecurling will ease off over the next couple of weeks, honest.
And 10 mins is fine;..My Mum was told I wasnt getting enough because I only fed for 10 mins, so they weighed me before and after a feed..at 4 days old I was taking 4.5oz in that 10 mins!If he is maintaining/gaining weight he is taking enough.
Congratulations on your son and keep up the good work.

TheBlonde · 08/04/2008 21:55

never had any eye contact with mine until about 6 mths - then if I made eye contact they'd smile and unlatch

Bouncingturtle · 08/04/2008 22:05

My ds occasionally looks up but mainly gazes at my boob.

Piffle · 08/04/2008 22:08

all that gazing at me has done for my ds2 is to make him smile and bite! He loves playing with my buttons or anything like that. 10 mins was a long feed for him. Enjoy the shortness!!!

Flibbertyjibbet · 08/04/2008 22:23

There is no wrong or right with bf as long as baby is slurping away.
He is still very young and imo doesn't need to look at you - he just KNOWS that his mum is there and thats all he needs.
Its nice later on though when you smile down at them and they break off and grin back at you.

pinkyminky · 08/04/2008 22:32

Sounds fine to me. Both mine didn't look at me until they were much older, when they'd just let go, smile and drench me in milk!

hoppybird · 09/04/2008 10:00

Hello Supernova - congratulations on your baby! My newborns would do all the eye contact before a feed, but not much during. However, I was able to judge if I was doing it "right" by what I call the "Mmmmmm...donuts..." face (think Homer Simpson) which they'd both get at the beginning of a feed, and the milk-drunkness at the end!

Elasticwoman · 10/04/2008 09:32

Eye contact or lack of it is not an indication of correct positioning.

If the baby is reasonably content, producing wet and soiled nappies, and starting to gain weight (or not losing too much if it's early days) then you must be getting it right.

Anna8888 · 10/04/2008 09:37

Don't worry too much about eye contact.

I used to breastfeed while on the computer or reading The Economist, right from the start.

Elasticwoman · 10/04/2008 09:40

I used to do the crossword, watch tv, read or chat to people.

Anna8888 · 10/04/2008 09:43

Yes, telephone good while BFing too .

Also mother providing endless glasses of water, cups of tea and pieces of cake .

Foot massage and manicure also possible.

Elasticwoman · 10/04/2008 09:47

Can remember being in hairdresser's and even dentist's chair with tiny baby latched on.

taliac · 10/04/2008 16:56

Ditto everyone else, they are generally too busy guzzling for eye contact. Plus when they're a bit older, eye contact tends to distract from the important business of drinking..

Fave activities while feeding for me - TV, reading, MN, phone. But not anymore because DD2 is a remarkably efficient feeder and is off and wanting to play within 5-10mins.

God, this reminds me of my Mum making me feel terribly guilty about reading while DD1 fed and fed and fed.. "Why arent you bonding with her during this time darling??" Thats my Mum for you though. She can put guilt into the heart of a rock.

chunkypudding · 11/04/2008 16:38

my ds gets v grumpy if i talk on the phone when bf.

its fine for him to ignore me, but not the other way round

Original poster
champagnesupernova · 12/04/2008 21:21

Thanks for all the reassuring comments - I have so many questions...I've started another thread

OP posts:
StarlightMcKenzie · 12/04/2008 21:31

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