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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

please help me ... worried bfeeding is going wrong...

25 replies

sushistar · 05/04/2008 22:01

He's 4 months exactly, never had a single problem with feeding him, exclusively bfed.

Gradually feeding him has got more and more difficult. First he started beating me with his little fists while feeding. Then he started pulling off...then on...then off... then on... All thois we could cope with, but this evening he WAILED when I put him on the breast. I was a bit shocked, it has been my fail-safe idiot-proof way to comfort him, and suddenly it didn't work anymore. He just kept crying - he would stoip when I latched him on, then after a minute start wailing again.

I'm also anxious cos he doesn't look as if he has grown much latly. Taking him to be weighd on Wednesday.

Has our lovely happy bfeeding relationship all gone wrong?

OP posts:

StressTeddy · 05/04/2008 22:04

my ds went through this stage. He screamed and pulled away
try feeding him far more regularly than you would normally do - it's a bit counter intuitive I know
He might be so hungry when you feed him that he just can't think straight iyswim
try little and often - hope you get on ok on Wednesday

PrettyCandles · 05/04/2008 22:07

It's not going wrong, both of these things can be perfectly normal.

All three of my babies became 'thrashy' to one degree or another at about 3-4m. They get distractable, want to look around while feeding, get very wriggly while feeding, twiddle bits of your anatomy while feeding, scratch and flail while feeding, and so on. It can be a very uncomfortable time! But you can find strategies to help, such as feeding in boring places, or with a muslin over the baby's face. Or feeding in a different position (lying down, for example).

As for the crying, in my babies that usually happened when they were tething the first front teeth, and sometimes the first back teeth, too. I wonder whether the suction makes their gums hurt more.

Even babies that gain a lot of comfrot from suckling don't always want it when they are miserable - especially if the cause of their misery is in the mouth or tummy.

I do hope this helps!

noodleh63 · 05/04/2008 22:08

Sounds like good sdvice. This hasn't happened to me (exclusive BF for 7.5 months), but when weird things happened I had a "trust your boobs" mantra repeated over and over worked wonders. Just read your post again - possibly teeth. Maybe try some teething gel prior to feeding. Hope it all works out. N

Rowlers · 05/04/2008 22:09

I'm definitely no expert but my DS has started the beating with fists thing too! I wouldn't worry about that at all personally. I think DS is just playing with me. quite cute.
Are you sure he's hungry and not tired? If you're used to latching him on to settle him, maybe you have got into the routine of this and need to try to get him to sleep sometimes instead? Could that make sense?
I wouldn't worry about the weight issue too much.
HTH

PortAndLemon · 05/04/2008 22:11

Other things it could be are teething or an ear infection. DS would get like this if cutting a tooth or brewing an ear infecton.

Original poster

sushistar · 05/04/2008 22:14

I'm surprised at how upset I feel about it tbh! I've had such an easy ride, I did know I'd probably find things tricky at some point.

Someone made a comment about how 'small' he is the other day, it's been nagging at me. He's always been on 25th percentile, last got him weighed 6 weeks ago. But still has lots of wet and dirty nappies.

Also, I keep being told by well meaning family that 6 months is very late to give solids, 'you were startving by 4 months' and 'milk just wasn't filling you up any more' etc etc. And I know they're wrong, but part of me wonders if ds is proving them right!

The biggest is that I could always make him happy before with feeding, so I've got lazy about other ways to comfort him.

OP posts:

Original poster

sushistar · 05/04/2008 22:15

Rowlers, I have always fed him to sleep for naps/at night, so usually he just feeds to sleep.

OP posts:

Original poster

sushistar · 05/04/2008 22:16

Might be teething I guess - he id v dribbly, chews fist, but no other symptoms.

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mawbroon · 05/04/2008 22:25

sushistar - just in case you didn't know this, it is very common for exclusively breastfed babies' weight to plateau around this time. Your HV may not know this, so please don't panic if he hasn't gained much and don't feel pressured if your HV (or anyone else) starts muttering about solids!

My ds put on around 1oz a week from 15 - 20 weeks and then his weight shot up after that even though i didn't put him on solids until 26 weeks.

As others say, it could be teething. Or perhaps he is having a growth spurt and is frustrated waiting for your supply to catch up. How long has he been like this? Do you co-sleep? If you were able to feed him during the night, would it make you worry less about him taking less during the day?

Original poster

sushistar · 05/04/2008 22:25

What are teething nappies like? People say that they change?

OP posts:

calsworld · 05/04/2008 22:25

Hey sushistar, I'm with noodle - trust your boobs!

HV always said that it didn't matter which centile DS was on (he started between 25 and 50, then got bad tonsillitis when v small and dropped to 25 - been there ever since), as long as they track the same curve, so if still on 25 that's fine...only if they drop that it might indicate a problem.

Also, do I remember that they have growth spurt at three months so it might seem like he's slowed down anyway, IYSWIM?

calsworld · 05/04/2008 22:26

Oh - what mawbroon said... far more useful than my post!!

mawbroon · 05/04/2008 22:28

My ds went up and down the centiles like a yo-yo

Original poster

sushistar · 05/04/2008 22:30

mawbroon, i didn't know that. Thanks, tht's useful - hv is crap, so always go armed with knowledge!

He's hit me while feeding for weeks, but the rest of it is since last week. We were co-sleeping, but I'm gradually putting him more in his basket by the bed. Usually feed him to sleep when we go to bed, put him in basket, and bring him in our bed whe he wakes - usually 3am ish. He's in with us for the rest of the night.

When he was small, boob would ALWAYS comfort him and send him to sleep. Now it makes him mad!

OP posts:

Original poster

sushistar · 05/04/2008 22:31

calsworld yours wa very useful too, thank you

OP posts:

calsworld · 05/04/2008 22:42

The other thing is, he isn't really hitting you, he's trying to learn how to control his arms. I can't remember the ages and stages but DS used to bash me quite a bit at one point and think it would have been around the same time, while he was bf he would wave his arms around, sometimes distracting himself when he spotted his hand .

mawbroon · 05/04/2008 22:53

Are you familiar with Kellymom.com? Here is a link about fussing at the breast I hope it is useful.

mawbroon · 07/04/2008 22:05

sushistar - how are things going?

mylovelymonster · 07/04/2008 22:09

Ah - when DD cried when I tried to feed her, sometimes trying her with the other side worked. It is a short phase.

tellyaddict · 07/04/2008 23:02

My son does the same and he is the same age too - usually it's because he's tired, he takes the boo then pulls off crying. I usually try putting him on my shoulder and give him a cuddle, sometimes walking around with him and often he'll nod off.

It will sort itself out soon. Ignore the well meaning comments about milk not being enough, your body is well and truly able to feed your baby 'til 6 months at least!

tellyaddict · 07/04/2008 23:03

I mean 'he takes the booB'!!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/04/2008 23:07

Lots of good advice already. Do you have a fast let-down? It could be frustrating him too?

Also, have a look at hunkers' site www.howbreastfeedingworks.com

mumof2pixies · 08/04/2008 14:19

I remember when my ds (who was bottle fed at this age) and dd (breastfed) both did the hitting thing whilst feeding! I ended up wrapping a thin blanket around the arms, quite firmly (almost a swaddle), and that kept the arms under control, also made them feel a bit more secure and focused.
The pulling on and off thing is soooo annoying, Im trying to rack my brain about what I did to try and keep it under control (so sleep deprived!)....I think I just finished the feed at that point, and dd soon learnt that fussing about meant no food...although during that period of time she woke in the night more to catch up on feeds. It really could be a combination of things...i.e. teething and growth spurt. It does sound like hes getting frustrated, alot of babies find it hard as they are interested in whats going on around them and almost resent having to feed.
Has the crying stopped?

weasle · 08/04/2008 14:33

hello, same problem here! ds2 is 16 weeks. we have had a few episodes that have been reallllly bad, where he won't latch on but is sobbing. i think it is when i have missed his tired cues being busy with ds1, then when i try to feed ds2 to sleep, he just screams.

on sunday, he wailed for 2 hrs. in the end dh took him out in the car and he nodded off straight away. i was so upset as he was not comforted by breast as he usually is.

like you, ds has been co-sleepng but i am trying to move him out into his cot (until 3am ish). in fact our experiences sound v similar!

i had him weighed yesterday and he remains btwn 9 and 25th centiles, averaged 3oz/wk ver last 4 wks. i also am thinking this isn't enough, even though i know growth levels out at this age. it is so difficult to have confidence in yourself isn't it?

Good luck with weigh in but try not to worry too much or set much by it, your baby sounds perfectly healthy, (and just like mine )

it is difficult

weasle · 08/04/2008 14:35

oops sorry, random half sentence there at the end!

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