Breastfeeding + screaming hungry baby

[Jessica1782]

Hi - FTM with an EBF 9 week old. I’m feeding on demand and it’s totally unpredictable how often she wants feeding - can be every half an hour to two hours. She has an absolute melt down when she’s hungry. It makes going anywhere impossible. I’m feeling very stuck in the house but when I go out and she starts screaming I feel so awful. I always try and find the nearest toilet / shady spot / chair but sometimes it takes 10 minutes and I hate to hear her screaming.

I guess I am asking if that’s ok? Cry it out isn’t ok at night and it feels like I am doing a version of that unintentionally making her wait for food. Did your LO’s cry for food regularly or were you always able to catch it before the cry?

I am also wondering if I don’t manage to fill her up when I feed. She comes on and off and on and off and so I feel like I just “decide” when she’s finished based on how fussy she becomes…

thank you x

Hi!
my baby is 15 weeks and EBF. If I’m going out I tend to feed him just before I leave, even if he’s not crying for it (he never says no 😂) if I know I’m going to be a long time and I’m unsure if the place I’m going will have suitable place to BF I will take a bottle of pumped milk. I’ve found this to be really good for my stress levels when out as I’m not constantly thinking ‘what if he starts screaming’. I went to Costa last week and forgot to take the milk and he had almighty melt down, it made me realise how much better it makes me feel just having it on me! Could this be something you would try?

This may sound a bit crude.

If in doubt wip em out 😉. Breatfed babies will very rarely refuse a feed, (at lest that's what I found). It could be your missing some hunger cues, they will often get a bit fussy or root around before crying starts (look up hunger cues). Or you may have a baby like my first who would always go from happy to screaming in seconds.

But it's OK for them to wait if you need to find somewhere to feed them first, it's not a problem reserved for Breatfed babies my friends second who was bottle fed never settled into a feeding routine, she found that hard as her first had been so predictable.

It maybe worth popping into a local breastfeeding cafe/support group to get them to.check how he's feeding, some babies do bob on and off but I'd just get that checked to make sure it's not anything that could be helped with 😊. Plus you can feed all you like there.
I often found the library a good place to go to. That's where our local group was but you could use it anytime to feed if needed.

Also just to say I had no idea until a couple of weeks ago but some shops and shopping centres have parent and child rooms which have breastfeeding chairs. Also I found some places have feeding chairs in the nappy change….may seem obvious to others but I didn’t realise!

My baby was very similar, unpredictable feeding pattern but would not have said no when I offered. There may be hunger cues before all out crying but depending on what you’re doing (e.g driving) then it might not be noticeable.

Depending on what you mean by a suitable spot to breastfeed, in shopping centres I just sit down wherever there is a chair. Shoe shops or departments are good for that, or changing rooms in clothes shops. Nearly all supermarkets will have some chairs around but I have been known to use a passport Photo Booth near the tills. Libraries are very breastfeeding friendly but I think over time I just see a chair anywhere as a suitable place, and if no chair and the baby was desperate I fed standing up holding in a cuddle position to calm down then looked for a chair.

The first time I took the baby out I brought some expressed milk but it was all gone very soon and I had to whip a boob out and honestly I’m glad it happened that way as I then had the confidence to just do it. I didn’t pump after that, I used a haakaa sometimes to collect milk for mashing with foods for weaning.

I have fed on the Tube, nobody batted an eyelid. I’ve never had any negative comments feeding in public. It has been nice actually as I read about it so putting it out there to hopefully reassure newer mums.

@FTMaz I hope the meltdown subsided, I remember the stress of that feeling but that’s what actually made me not bother with expressed milk as it was more hassle if they didn’t take it and I was annoyed at milk wasted. Though I think it can be used in the bath then!

My sister brought her baby and tried out loads of chairs in Ikea to see which one would be comfortable for breastfeeding in the baby’s room. You could be there all day trying out different ones!

If you are able to learn to breastfeed in a sling, then it means zero waiting (unless you are driving etc). I've fed in some very odd places that way - queues, fairground rides, grocery shopping, getting on the bus etc. it also been be incredibly discreet depending on the type of sling.

My first was like this and the best thing for me was doing as PP suggested and learning to feed in a sling. Took a bit of getting used to as well as getting over my own embarrassment but I got to the point where I would comfortably and confidently feed her anywhere, including while walking with her in the sling. No one ever once said anything negative to me about it so I've done it with my second as well.

You’re in the thick of it now and still getting used to feeding - this will
all get better by itself over time as (1) your baby’s stomach gets bigger and ability to wait between feeds improves and (2) you get more confident with feeding in public.

I remember feeling horribly self conscious at first with DC1 but very quickly got over it. With DC2 I cracked the feeding in sling thing and it was amazing (and necessary as I had toddler dc1 to look after).

And also agree that you should offer a feed when it’s convenient to you - eg before you leave the house, when you sit down in a cafe/other nice spot etc

Oh and the crying won’t do them any harm at all! It seems worse to you because it’s your baby.