Crys when bf

[presence]

Dear all,

Please help... I've spent 9 weeks trying to get my DS who was 7 weeks early to bf. He is now doing it! I was so happy as have expressed and given ebm until now.

However - he does one good happy content bf a day, he sleeps afterwards up to 4 hours and winds easily. Other times however, he starts cring very loud as i hold him and refuses to take the nipple at all, if he does he crys whils on the breast and stops after few sucks. This is usually 3-4 hours after the last feed andhe will continue to give a very distressed hunger cry until he is given the bottle.

What could be the reason?

I don't know if the flow of milk is too strong for him or bf to hard work. He is 42 weeks now and almost 8lb.

I feel terrible as i don't want to force him, but at the same time i've spent so long trying to get him latched on etc that i don't still want to do bottles and expressing for ages.

Your thoughts are welcome.

He has done some days of 2 good bf. Also - he started bf 10 days ago.

I had this for 6 weeks with my dd. i had all the advisors telling me I was doing it right and couldnt explain it. In the end I gave up .

Looking back it was her picking up on me being so stressed and determined to do it right. I should have relaxed more and just spent more time skin to skin.

Dont know if this is any help - just wanted to share.

presence, I think it will help to speak to someone in real life about this, and maybe see someone. You can call any of the helplines or see someone knowledgable locally.
One thing you could explore is a history of pushing and shoving onto the breast, even once or twice, maybe with an over-enthusisatic midwife - this can make babies take a while to 'forget' about.

Meantime lots of skin to skin, self-attachment, biologica nurturing, super-quick response to his feeding cues...all that will help.

Good luck.

Congratulations presence - how fantastic that you've managed to get bf established. I don't have any special knowledge I'm afraid, though I know others who have posted do. But if it helps at all, ds also would cry on the breast - but take a bottle. It was pretty horrible as bf is supposed to be a lovely, relaxing affair (or so I believed) but would often end up feeling more like a battle ground. I think with him it was because the flow was too high, but the local bf clinic (run by NCT) was fantastic - do you have one near you? It took a while, and at the time was tough, but once things did work out and we got rid of the bottles, it was plain sailing and now so glad we persevered . In fact, now have the opposite problem and he refuses bottles (clever thing must know I'm going back to work...)

Just sat in tears and realised that watching him cry on the breast when being able to feed is more painful than the 09 weeks i've spent getting him to latch on adn expressing.

Thinking of weaning down the expressing adn going onto ff...

Will try to get some sleep and see how thinks look tomorrow.

presence, what do you think of the suggestions to call someone, see someone, get expert help?

Sometimes, we can feel very, very low when bf is not going right, and lack the courage and confidence it needs to seek help...but you've asked for help and support here (on mumsnet) and that's the first step.

Be brave, and take the next step...if bf means a lot to you, and it certainly does, it's worth finding it in yourself to pick up the phone.

prescence i agree with others who say you should call helplines/speak to someone rl. You could also try snuggling up for feeds in bed, lots of skin to skin contact to get him enjoy/relax in the physical closeness. My LO loves being fed int he bath too.

Sometimes they cry like this, it isnt because your bfing as they are the same ff. It could be colic, perhaps infacol would help?

Dont give up on the bf after you have worked so hard at it because it isunlikely that whcih is making him cry.

My lo has had days where he feeds and crys and pulls off. Not at all settling, but then he is ok. I have friends who ff and their babies do same.