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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why can't I burp my baby

34 replies

Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 04:35

I'm sat here in tears in my baby's room feeling like a complete failure. I couldn't breastfeed my baby and now it seems I can't even bottle feed him.

After his feeds, which he takes nicely, I just can't get the wind out of him and he screams hysterically, arches his back and squirms and wriggles all over the place. He's obviously in so much pain. He's also quite strong and lifts his head making it almost impossible to put him over my shoulder. I've tried sitting on the knee and also the tiger in the tree position, nothing seems to work. The more I try the more upset he gets so I eventually have to put him down and he's just straining away it's horrible to listen to.

Yet when husband or other people feed him they get the wind out of him instantly. I just don't know what I'm doing wrong and it's so upsetting.

I also give him infacol but it does nothing. He's on kendamil goat and he drinks 5oz, he's nearly 7 weeks.

I'm getting to the point where I hate feeding him and I don't want to feel like that :(

Rest of the time he's fine and he sleeps really well. He's also gaining weight fine I just don't know why I can't wind him.

OP posts:
MamaSleep · 09/04/2024 04:39

Poor you. This sounds so stressful especially if he is upset by it.

I have to gently rock DD or move her in the figure of 8 on repeat.

There’s some massage that you can do to help - might be worth looking into that?

Overthebow · 09/04/2024 04:41

What do others do to get him to burp? Have you tried holding him upright whilst you stand up and bounce him around for a while? It can take some time but usually works for our DC after a while if he’s not burping any other way. I wouldn’t just put him down though, sounds like he’s in pain if he’s straining after and hasn’t burped.

Lolacoala · 09/04/2024 04:42

Try this: sit in a chair with your knees together. Place him, tummy down, across your knees. The weight of his body and the fact that he’s flat should bring up the wind without you having to do anything more than support his head.
🤞

Original poster
Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 04:45

@Overthebow yes I have tried that. Sometimes it's worked but most of the time not.

They aren't doing anything different to me it just seems to happen for them it's so frustrating.

OP posts:
Mumoftwo1312 · 09/04/2024 04:47

My dh is much better at burping too, don't feel like a failure, it's nice you've got different strengths!

What always works for us is walking while holding the baby upright, especially up and down stairs. I'm usually too tired to but dh isn't, that's the main difference.

DrJump · 09/04/2024 04:47

Is he formula feeding very new to him? Is it that he still wants to breastfeed from you? It maybe why he is upset when the feed finishes only with you.bif so it may just improve with time. If I am on wrong track please ignore.

The other option could be to look at the way you at eholding the bottle. Keeping him more upright and the bottle horizontal might help with less air and slower speed of milk.

Hope you find a solution soon .

Original poster
Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 04:47

@Lolacoala I think I've tried that too but not sure he was positioned correctly. He seems to hate pressure being on his tummy. When I've got him over my shoulder and I go to rub it's like the pressure of my hand is affecting his stomach and that's why he screams.

OP posts:
Original poster
Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 04:49

@DrJump no I only breastfed for a week. He had bad jaundice and struggled to feed in that first week.

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Wossupdoc · 09/04/2024 04:50

Walking up the stairs can often help. And going for a sling walk can be magic.

It sounds like you are being very unkind to yourself. You owe it to yourself and your baby to find some self-compassion.

Sounds like your breastfeeding journey ended in a way you were not happy with? Have you had any support with this?

Original poster
Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 04:51

I forgot to say as well I don't really leave the house for fear of feeding him then having to burp him and he screams in a public place. I'd really love to take him out but I feel so held back because of that and it's so upsetting.

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · 09/04/2024 04:55

DD dad much better at burping than me also.
Don't be hard on yourself it's not a failure.

Up and down stairs
Walking round with her head on shoulder patting back
Gently rocking side to side

If he fights you for it with flinging around I'd try his head in your shoulder

Original poster
Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 04:55

@Wossupdoc it was short because he had jaundice and struggled to feed. He's also quite a hungry baby and I don't think he was getting enough from me. I wasn't happy about it and really disappointed and it took a lot to come to the decision to put him on formula.

I've heard about going up and down the stairs. I'd be worried about tripping on our stairs as they are wooden, especially in the night.

OP posts:
paristotokyo · 09/04/2024 04:59

My first was a nightmare to burp! DS was at nicu/special care for a while and the nurses there also struggled but my mum seemed to just have the knack with him. But they did show me some tricks which worked really well especially now with my second - after a feed if they are not burping easily then lay them down for a few seconds stretched out (sounds counterproductive when they have reflux but it really works for us!) only a few seconds then lift back up and try again. This usually results in a big burp. If not then I just try for ages, walking around, different positions. Hope it gets easier for you soon cos I know the feeling of feeling helpless.

Lolacoala · 09/04/2024 05:06

Okay. The other position which I found highly successful was to sit baby upright on my knee. As I breathed out my stomach gently extended into baby’s back to get the wind up. Repeat until you get the burp.

Wossupdoc · 09/04/2024 05:11

I forgot to say as well I don't really leave the house for fear of feeding him then having to burp him and he screams in a public place. I'd really love to take him out but I feel so held back because of that and it's so upsetting.

Have you tried a sling? If you can get him used to that it can be dreamy for taking them out, they will sleep for hours in a sling. And the upright position and bouncy movement of walking is great for quickly settling gassy babies.

it was short because he had jaundice and struggled to feed. He's also quite a hungry baby and I don't think he was getting enough from me. I wasn't happy about it and really disappointed and it took a lot to come to the decision to put him on formula.

Your poor heart. Breastfeeding grief is very real. You say you are dissapointed and unhappy, about stopping BF - it's not too late if you want to try it again, and move towards mixed feeding or even exclusive breastfeeding. Relactation is easiest within the first 3 months. If you are certain that exclusively formula feeding is the right route for you, you deserve some professional support to help you come to terms with your breastfeeding grief.

DuploTrain · 09/04/2024 05:18

My first DS was a lot like this so I understand how difficult it is to have a baby who is always upset.

I used to find it easier to burp him when he was properly asleep, so if he was still a bit awake after a feed I would give him a dummy which helped him drop off and then burp him.

I would experiment with stopping the infacol - it doesn’t help all babies. It works by joining together little gas bubbles into bigger gas bubbles, the theory being that it’s easier to then bring up the bigger gas bubble. However if the baby doesn’t bring up the wind then they’re stuck with bigger gas bubbles going through their system which must be painful.

Mumoftwo1312 · 09/04/2024 05:19

it's not too late if you want to try it again, and move towards mixed feeding

I agree. This is something we don't talk about enough in the uk and is part of the reason BF rates are especially low here. Relactation is considered to be impossible here but it isn't.

You can carry on with the formula as scheduled but keep latching your baby on. Don't worry about how much they're taking, just keep on with it. Then gradually, after a few weeks, you'll hear more gulping while bf and, they'll need less formula.

MillshakePickle · 09/04/2024 05:36

YouTube, the magic baby burp. It was life changing, for all of us

ohpumpkinseeds · 09/04/2024 05:42

Firstly, congratulations on your new baby OP! I hope you're recovering well from the birth.

If you don't burp him, what happens? They don't always NEED to burp. Is he in distress if not burped, or just when you're trying to make him burp?

Original poster
Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 09:51

@ohpumpkinseeds I suppose it is when trying to make him burp. Though when I put him down he strains and grunts

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Original poster
Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 09:52

@MillshakePickle do you have a link please? I've typed that in but lots of different ones come up!

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Original poster
Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 09:54

@DuploTrain I think you're absolutely right it appears to be doing nothing and probably making it worse

OP posts:
MillshakePickle · 09/04/2024 10:22

Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 09:52

@MillshakePickle do you have a link please? I've typed that in but lots of different ones come up!

Sorry, this the one I used. It eas genuinely like changing. Poor little guy was able to actually sleep with out rasing his legs. He did have reflux as well.

DuploTrain · 09/04/2024 10:25

I would also say that if he hasn’t burped after a few minutes then put him down and then if he starts wriggling a bit later try again.

If he’s already in his cot, keep him in it and just sit him up (even if he’s asleep). Hold his chin with one hand, your other hand on his back, and move his body forwards and backwards and round in circles… hope that makes sense.

ohpumpkinseeds · 09/04/2024 10:49

Strawberry06 · 09/04/2024 09:51

@ohpumpkinseeds I suppose it is when trying to make him burp. Though when I put him down he strains and grunts

Strains and grunts are normal - their tummies are so immature and trying to work things out! If he was crying I would think maybe he had trapped wind, and try to burp him.

How about for today, forget about burping him and don't stress about it. After feeds, try resting him upright on you so his head is on your boobs so he can hear your heart and support under his bum with your hands gently. See if he just sleeps off his milk and doesn't need burping? I had one who never needed burping really and another who got terrible trapped wind and it clearly caused her pain, and she did need burping.