Gutted our breastfeeding journey might be coming to an end?

[seeyouinanotherlifewhenwearebothcats]

Hello, I’ve posted before about how my DD was slow to gain weight early on. Eventually we turned a corner and all seemed to be going well. Weight gain was consistent on her centile. She is my third baby and the only one I didn’t have to top up with formula. Then the 4 month sleep regression hit us extremely hard. She is now nearly 23 weeks (5 months). From early and right up to today we gave her a bottle of ebm, whatever I’d collected in Hakka or managed to pump if I did that day. We’d got into a routine of sorts. Gave her the ebm around 7/7.30, she’d feed again around 11, then 4 and maybe sleep til 6.30 and up for the day. But the sleep regression was every hour wakings. My period returned last week and supply seemed to dip. So last week DH gave her a bottle of formula following my 11pm feed. Since then I’ve barely got any milk in Hakka so the ebm bottle leaves her unsatisfied. She’s fussy at the breast seemingly preferring the bottle. Tonight I couldn’t even get her latched on again after bottle she was just crying and frustrated. I am so torn. My other children took 1 bottle of formula fine and I was able to breastfeed the rest of the time but this seems like a perfect storm of my supply suddenly tanking and her preferring the bottle? Feeds during the day are ok. But DH wants to introduce more formula now and I feel it’s the beginning of the end and I’m heartbroken. I just didn’t want our feeding journey to end so abruptly? Any tips or advice on how to move forward? Sorry it’s a bit long and all over the place.

Don’t worry about supply dipping around your period, that is normal. Why does your DH want to introduce more formula? That will only further reduce your supply. The best thing for your supply now is to feed responsively and ideally from the breast.

Unless it’s essential for a reason that benefits you, I’d steer clear of the bottles while you get back on track.

I would not let this be the end of the journey.
if you want to give an EBM bottle you might need to use the haakaa (or a pump) in the morning too.
Personally I would ditch the bottle for a while. Output from a pump doesn’t necessarily indicate the amount that a baby can extract, they are much more efficient. The dip in supply with your period will hopefully be temporary as linked to hormones (my period came much sooner but hasn’t caused any lasting effects on breastfeeding).
In person support might help if you have any local breastfeeding support groups. Or if not then the breastfeeding helpline? Best of luck.

Is it worth looking at starting to wean combined with continuing to bf? Maybe that she is getting hungry and needs more calories than she is getting? Know it's a little earlier than recommended 6 months but maybe a better option than formula. (Fwiw both of my DC started taking solids before 6 months after being EBF and were fine......)

Thank you all for the helpful responses. I feel I can’t see the wood for the trees at the moment. DH wants to give formula bottles because she sleeps longer after one. He says she’s snacking off me. She sleeps a good chunk after ebm bottle when it’s a reasonable amount in it. But she is in habit of waking now and she feeds from me, dozes off but the minute I put her down she cries. She will sleep only when held. It is killing me now. When I have 2 other DC to get out to school following day. DH is now v unsupportive and won’t rock her etc for me cos he thinks we should just give formula.
I had considered weaning, definitely a possibility.

Well babies stomachs are much smaller so snacking isn’t crime of the century in my book. Ideally DH needs to step up with the other kids getting them out to school and let you tend to the baby/rest a little bit more after doing night feeds.

Whatever foods you might use when you start to wean will not be as calorie-dense as breastmilk so they won’t be any more filling, but if you offer the foods after feeds it might fill the baby up a bit.

You mention that the baby wants to be held so not sure if you are co-sleeping safely or if that might buy you a bit of extra sleep?

@Missscarletintheconservatory no we haven’t tried co-sleeping, I just never fancied it but as you say it might save my sanity a bit. On the whole DH is supportive and he does try and let me rest more on days he is wfh but we aren’t on the same page with this at the moment. The tiredness is just getting to everyone 🤪 Thank you for the sensible advice, I’ll look into co-sleeping.