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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

totally in need of some advice...wits end

21 replies

NewMamaMia · 28/03/2008 21:37

Hi everyone...
I am in dire need of some advice if anyone found themselves in a similar situation.

My ds is nearly 11 weeks old, and things are taking their toll. In general.he is a very alert baby, but without going into long rambling details, he has had a few problems with silent reflux, extremely bad wind, and being a big baby(born at 9lb 12)he has always had a big appetite.
However, he is still demand feeding every hour, hour and half or 2 hours depending.I think he is snacking because he is putting on weight but not so much to justify eating constantly.

Ive resorted to making his dreamfeed a formula one, and on some occassions he has lasted 4hours(rarely however!!!)

I dont want to winge, but im just so tired and dont have the opportunities to sleep in the day(if i can get him to sleep in the first place that is!with an hour and a half schedule there isnt much leeway!!)

He cries with hunger on the dot it seems and i just need some advice on how to maybe gradually make the time between feed longer without having to leave him crying?Are there any ideas out there?I would be so very grateful

OP posts:
AnotherFineMess · 28/03/2008 21:41

HI NMM, my sympathies.

I'm really not an expert at all, so please take this with a pinch of salt, but is he definitely draining 1st boob before you offer 2nd? I got into a bit of a snacking cycle because I was switching too quickly and he wasn't getting nough creamy hind-milk. I tried keeping him on the 1st side for longer and it resolved itself after a while.

SenoraPostrophe · 28/03/2008 21:48

has he actually been diagnosed with reflux?

Only dd used to get wind a while after feeding, but she'd cry as if she was hungry. the thing that helped the most was giving her a dummy, rocking her, and spacing her feeds a little in the mornings (she wasn't as bad in the afternoons).

also yes, make sure he is getting his hind milk.

I also wonder if you shouldn't perhaps drop the dreamfeed all together. if time between feeds is a problem, surely you don't need to wake him for extra ones?

finally, if spacing his feeds doesn't help with the reflux, is feeding every hour or two really such a bad thing for a few months? maybe if you relax about it a bit it won't seem as bad.

AliciaJohns · 28/03/2008 21:48

Some people would disagree with this, but have you tried a dummy?? I initially didn't want ds to have one but like you by this point I was exhausted and it worked for us. We weaned him off it as soon as he could suck his fingers so it didn't create a dependancy. It may help your lo to go a bit longer between feeds and then hopefully you can get a bit of rest!

berolina · 28/03/2008 21:49

oh dear

I can't really advise you on getting him to go longer, because in all probability he is doing what he needs.'Snacking' is entirely physiologically normal for babies of this age.

Can you co-sleep? I am co-sleeping with ds2 (does not sleep in the day either, unless in the sling) and it really makes a difference to the night's sleep I get. Check out Unicef guidelines on safe bedsharing.

Put him in a sling (it would be unusual for him then not to fall asleep) and go for a walk, to a cafe, just do something for a (restful) change of scene.

And most importantly: this too shall pass. Maybe not as soon as you hope - my ds2's feeding patterns are still frequent at 6mo - but eventually.

taliac · 28/03/2008 21:51

Re you getting enough sleep - are you able to express so as to get someone else to take a feed in order for you to get a few clear hours of sleep? Sometimes its easier to work these things out when you've had some rest!

StarlightMcKenzie · 28/03/2008 21:56

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Original poster
NewMamaMia · 28/03/2008 22:03

wow!thank you all for replying!

and in reference to the questions~i feed only on the one boob so as to make sure the hind milk is used and yes i do kinda eel drained but my other boob doesnt feel full enough to use~should i perhaps switch it half way?would he have more then? oh and he has a dummy already since about a month old as he would scream for hours wanting to suck something and i thought a dummy would be better than his thumb,i express at 11pm-12am depending when he wants his food so as not to diminish my supply and yeah.

i guess i will just have to hold you all to your promises and hold out for it to pass~its just so hard. Feeling bit down and i dont think that helps.
But thank you all for your kind words and assurances.xx

OP posts:
AnotherFineMess · 28/03/2008 22:07

Well done for all your hard work nmm. I'm sure it will all be worth it when it passes and you settle into a lovely easy stage. In the meantime, sod the housework, sleep whenever possible and give yourself a treat for getting through this wobble.

SenoraPostrophe · 28/03/2008 22:12

you're still giving one boob per feed!

yes, do start offering the other one when he starts to seem less interested in the first (it may be after 10 mins, may be half an hour at 11 weeks. prob best to give it at least 15 mins if you can).

you never know, it might work wonders!

callmeovercautious · 28/03/2008 22:13

Unless he has fallen asleep offer the other side. You may feel there is not enough but your supply will pick up in a matter of days.

Well done for keeping going TBH I would drop the FF dream feed now and grit your teeth, you are so close to 12 weeks when even the worst feeders (and I count DD in that) calm down a little.

If dream feed really help try expressing and see if that has the same effect. It did with DD. She was a 45 minute sleeper so I empathise completely x

StarlightMcKenzie · 28/03/2008 22:15

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maygirl · 28/03/2008 22:20

Congratulations NMM.
My baby was the same, every 2 hours or less night and day. I hadn't been offering both sides, as I had read (baby whisperer!) should only feed one breast per feed. When I realised this advice wasn't great I started offering both, and kept offering the same one if it seemed there was any milk left in it. If he stopped sucking/falling asleep would do breast compressions and he'd start drinking again in his sleep. At night before I went to bed would feed him for ages, then change nappy and feed again with breast compressions until he was fast asleep, would take no more and i couldn't express anything out by hand! I had also been timing from the end of a feed till the start of the next, which was about 2 hrs, so felt bad when I heard other mums talking about their babies going 3-4 hrs. But they were timing from the start of a feed. So as he was feeding for about 1hr, he had actually been lasting 3 hrs, from the start of one feed to the start of the next, but for weeks I'd been thinking it was only 2. Of course the feeding frequency and the lack of sleep was the same, but I felt a bit better knowing he wasn't so different from other babies!! I didn't have much of a clue in the early days!!

It will start to get better

maygirl · 28/03/2008 22:25

Just seen your reply, looks exactly like what happened with us, one sided feeding. Forgot to put it made a huge difference to how long he could go once he was getting 2 (or 3 or 4 during a growth spurt!). It was a revelation!

Original poster
NewMamaMia · 29/03/2008 12:56

again a big thank you all!!!
after yet another night of no sleep im definitely ready to try anything!!! ...i know this is sad to admit but im quite looking forward to trying both boobs as soon as the little rascal wakes up!!
fingers crossed it may help xxx

OP posts:
maygirl · 29/03/2008 13:50

Let us know how it goes!! I think I carried on offering every 2 hrs or so (both sides) during the day if we were at home, in the hope of getting the longer stretch at night. He went from 7pm till about 10.30 the first time he'd been getting both sides all day. Before that had been feeding constantly all evening and crying, mum and mum-in law kept saying he had colic. I remember feeling really refreshed after an evening to myself, although missed the cuddles a bit

I felt excited too on our first day of the 2 boobs, and couldn't believe it when he was settled upstairs in his cot and there was not a peep at the 2 hr mark!!

Fingers crossed for you

Martha200 · 29/03/2008 15:03

Two boobs does make a difference
Don't get hung up on the hindmilk thing because it can all be told in the colour of poo! Scrambled eggish/yellow, thumbs up.. green stools I think relates to lack of this milk as well or the possibilty that baby is sensitive to something e.g if you were on medication.

StarlightMcKenzie · 29/03/2008 19:45

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callmeovercautious · 29/03/2008 22:36

Gosh reading all this makes me remember the growth spurts! Don't be afraid to swap him over if you think he needs it. At the worst point DD would chop and change several times until she got the let down she was looking for. Things really do get easier. I hope tonight is better for you x

Original poster
NewMamaMia · 30/03/2008 20:41

so heres my update!!!
Didnt quite go to plan(nothing ever does eh!! )as after the first feed of both boobs he wouldnt take anything at all for five hours(not through lack of trying i might add!!!)he was hungry but i think he went through a stage of nipple confusion!i resorted to having to give the bottle but with expressed milk in it and his next feed i put some expressed milk on the nipple and that did the trick after a while and he didnt reject me anymore!!phew!was really upsetting actually!

so im dropping the ff for now, and although he was with us most of the night, he is more of a 3hr schedule now yay!result!more shut eye!!thank you all!two boobs is amazing!!xx

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StarlightMcKenzie · 30/03/2008 22:17

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moondog · 30/03/2008 22:19

Brill!

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