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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

comments about baby 'missing out on good stuff' food because he is not weaned yet and BF?

18 replies

Sailawaygirl · 29/03/2024 11:15

I just need to vent and see if anyone else has had this
basically since baby was 2 months old, family (mainly my parents), have made comments about 'when is baby going to eat'. Every time i have said NHS and WHO say 6 months and BF for a year. I said i will be flexible but i am waiting for signs baby is ready for food.

Every time I see them they comment about him 'looking like he wants something' or 'he doesn't know what he is missing'. waving said food in his face and again asking when can he have .....
Most recently the comment 'he is missing out on the good stuff!!' (which was cake) i got a little annoyed and said he is fully breast feed so milk is the good stuff and all he needs right now.

Its only in last 2 weeks that I can see that he is more ready to think about food (5 months this week).
In a way I've been made to feel selfish because i BF and ?they cant feed him. (they have given him bottles of expressed milk)

DH is fully on board with me BF and agrees not quite ready to wean yet.

the comments are really starting to annoy me.

OP posts:
NameName2023 · 29/03/2024 11:22

You are completely right. The guidance is six months minimum. My DC is six months and a bit and I’m not ready to start weaning yet as she can’t sit up properly and therefore I’m waiting for her to fit everything before we start.

Breastfeeding is more than enough at this stage.

FairfaxAikmann · 29/03/2024 11:23

Ask them why they are in such a hurry for baby to grow up?

vanillawaffle · 29/03/2024 11:25

Shut it down. Say you're not trying solids until 6 months as per UN/NHS. Each and every time

Eccentricthesnowman · 29/03/2024 11:26

My FIL was exactly like that until we all got Covid. Luckily the baby didn’t get it as bad and we put it to the fact that the baby is BF. He even said Breastfeeding is great and gives baby a great start!

The word warning they will try it again when your baby is on solids, but not already ready to be eating “tastes” of ice cream and chocolate!

Original poster
Sailawaygirl · 29/03/2024 11:29

he started reaching for a cup this morning (empty) which i helped him to hold and explore in his mouth - and so that lead to more comments about 'cant he just have a little bit of water'
I explained he dosent need much water even when he starts with a little food as he will still get most liquid via BF and most nutrition that way too - they face expression was like 'oh poor thing' ' go on give him a bit'

OP posts:
Original poster
Sailawaygirl · 29/03/2024 11:32

Eccentricthesnowman · 29/03/2024 11:26

My FIL was exactly like that until we all got Covid. Luckily the baby didn’t get it as bad and we put it to the fact that the baby is BF. He even said Breastfeeding is great and gives baby a great start!

The word warning they will try it again when your baby is on solids, but not already ready to be eating “tastes” of ice cream and chocolate!

I'm a bit worried about inappropriate tastes - given multiple cake comments!!!
Its odd cause my mum is a healthy eating person and was really strict with me growing up!!! they thought i was joking when i said it was common to not give sugar until well after 1st birthday

OP posts:
InTheRainOnATrain · 29/03/2024 11:33

How weird of them! The guidance is around 6 months (not minimum 6 months) and there’s a lot of evidence coming out now that early introduction to allergens is beneficial so if it were me then once baby is 5 months old and has the physical readiness like good head control, able to stay seated in the high chair, can bring objects to their mouth and lost the tongue thrust reflex then I would start. But just so odd that they were bringing it up from 2 months, I know guidance used to be younger but it can’t have been quite as young as that when you were a baby, and surely they only need to be told once that it’s changed. And then first weaning foods are usually puréed veggies not cake!

TheOneWithUnagi · 29/03/2024 11:36

You're totally right, in their defence guidance did used to be earlier. I have found the same.. is baby crying because he is hungry, maybe your breast milk isn't enough for him etc.
(Nope babies just cry)
And you're also right babies don't need cake! My baby is 7 months old and we introduced solids at 6 months. His favourite food is broccoli because he hasn't had cake and doesn't need it 🤣

It's great that your husband supports you so just ignore them as hard as it is. You're doing a great job!

Original poster
Sailawaygirl · 29/03/2024 11:40

InTheRainOnATrain · 29/03/2024 11:33

How weird of them! The guidance is around 6 months (not minimum 6 months) and there’s a lot of evidence coming out now that early introduction to allergens is beneficial so if it were me then once baby is 5 months old and has the physical readiness like good head control, able to stay seated in the high chair, can bring objects to their mouth and lost the tongue thrust reflex then I would start. But just so odd that they were bringing it up from 2 months, I know guidance used to be younger but it can’t have been quite as young as that when you were a baby, and surely they only need to be told once that it’s changed. And then first weaning foods are usually puréed veggies not cake!

thanks - yes me and DH have said we will try with a bit of puree in next two weeks. Baby has only just been able to sit in Bumbo seat this week and we are going to get him used to high chair next week. So he was nowhere near safe for foods until very recently and its baby steps. hes getting used to playing with fork and holding cups, sits with us at meals.
I feel ok about starting to wean but there comments cut me a lot more than they should

OP posts:
Caluse · 29/03/2024 12:04

If your baby is nearly 6 months then you can skip purees, they were only invented due to early/premature weaning. At six months you baby can eat what you eat.

yikesanotherbooboo · 29/03/2024 12:13

Don't bother with purées and there is no need to push the feeding, it can be a bit of a faff.Wait until your baby is ready .The 6 months guidance was well established when my DC 3 was a baby 22 years ago. It isn't new news.

Original poster
Sailawaygirl · 29/03/2024 12:21

I feel most comfortable going with a bit of puree / mashed veg or yoghurt for first tastes . Even if I just get baby to explore putting his hand in it and licking off fingers. It feels to big a jump to just present him with banana or soft carrot stick.
But hoping to do a combination of Blw and some spoon fed foods.
I'm not going to buy baby puree ect

OP posts:
NameName2023 · 29/03/2024 15:26

I have my first DC a mix of purée and actual veg when we started weaning. He definitely preferred the purée and it was much easier being out and about giving pouches. They’re not ideal but honestly, don’t beat yourself up about giving purée and/or pouches.

I’m going to start DC2 weaning in the next week or so, using a veg led approach but I have no qualms about giving purée. I really recommend ‘How to wean your baby’ book as it was really helpful around introducing them to food and ideas/plans around allergens etc.

SummerBump23 · 08/04/2024 02:07

Solitarity OP! My MIL was exactly the same and made multiple comments quite literally telling me I was selfish for EBF and not letting her help feed my baby and she even tried to start weaning DS at 4 months without my permission! Unbelievable.

DS was (and still is) thriving on breast milk and even though he showed signs of being ready for food early (say 5 months). I still waited till he was 6.5 months old (we got sick so delayed the start).
Now in our case despite DS trying to grab my food since he was 5 months old and seeming really keen to start weaning he hasn’t taken to food that well, so even though he may have looked like he was ‘desperate for food’ in the words of my MIL, he isn’t keen at all 😅.
Once you start weaning you’ll be feeding your little one for the rest of his adult life, so enjoy EBF while you still can!

calligraphee · 08/04/2024 02:19

Have you tried saying something like 'please could you stop making comments about food and feeding, I find it upsetting. I want to follow the current health advice - I appreciate advice used to be different but I would like your support to follow the current guidance.'?

I think you need to give them a proper explanation of why this is something they should stop doing. If they don't listen, you have a problem but at least you will know where you stand

Isitbedtimeyet3 · 08/04/2024 02:23

Sailawaygirl · 29/03/2024 11:29

he started reaching for a cup this morning (empty) which i helped him to hold and explore in his mouth - and so that lead to more comments about 'cant he just have a little bit of water'
I explained he dosent need much water even when he starts with a little food as he will still get most liquid via BF and most nutrition that way too - they face expression was like 'oh poor thing' ' go on give him a bit'

This would really piss me off. I would put them in their place firmly

SeaToSki · 08/04/2024 02:29

I might try an eye roll and “oh my god, he only has about 80 more years to eat whatever foods he want, he is SO missing out on not having a taste of carrots this week”. See if that gets them to pipe down for a bit
sometimes you have to stand up to people to get them to realize how crazy they sound.

PeopleAreWeird · 08/04/2024 03:21

Hell no!!!

His 4 months old

And Cake! They need to give their heads a wobble !!!

Absolutely no Gluten before 6 months !

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