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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

can I just moan and weep a little please? (long and venty, sorry)

13 replies

Monkeybird · 27/03/2008 21:18

I'm (still) having a hard time with DS3. We've been weaning and now I'm just convinced he is getting less interested in bf.

I think he has been under the weather and so has been on nursing strike all week (and has done this lots). We've got by with a mix of EBM, formula and the occasional sleep feed.

Now my supply is really low (gone from two full bottles to two x third of a bottle) in 48 hours, though have been trying to pump when I can but erratic (have two other children, one being a bored 9 year old and the other being ill with another chest infection).

I don't think he is just self-regulating cos he's ill, because every time we offer him a bottle of whatever, he just glugs it down.

We've dropped from 6-7 feeds a day with no food, to with food, about 2 (today he fed at 4am and had a very quick one at 10.30 and then that was it bar water with lunch until I was forced to give him a bottle at bedtime.

He sucks for a couple of minutes and then gives up cos the let down isn't happening.

And when he seems hungry, he just arches away from my breast in disgust and fury...

I'm all over the place also with sleeplessness...

I was really hoping to extend my BF this time, partly so this little one won't get the full force of illness the others have had when he starts at nursery soon, but it just seems as if he's started to give up himself. I think he just prefers the bottle now - much less hassle and wait for him? He doesn't seem to get enough comfort out of BF to keep him going (never has really since I always had a fast letdown and active flow - not any bloody more though!)

He is 7.5 months...

I have tried teething gel and calpol: he does have some little white dots on his gums so that might be a factor but TBH it seems to make little difference to whether he wants to feed or not. Reducing the solid food did not make a significant impact either although maybe I should try for longer... I don't know what is best anymore.

I'm now feeling extremely miserable about it because I know I will not be able to keep expressing all day. And he is not reliable enough at the moment to be able to say, OK we'll keep the morning and bedtime feeds as BF, since he refuses sometimes and not others (though seems more and more frequent).

Ah, I know there is no magic cure but it is making me really sad. He has had strikes before but they have never lasted more than a few days. this is now about a week's worth and showing no signs of changing.

I had to stop earlier than I wanted with my other two; I will be devastated if we have to stop because of something I'm doing wrong; I guess if HE wants to stop, I'll come to terms with it, but it seems so early given he needs milk...

Oh, help.

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/03/2008 21:20

Have either of you had antibiotics recently?

Do you think he might have oral thrush?

Monkeybird · 27/03/2008 21:24

nope, not ABs, vvvqv. I will have a look round his mouth tomorrow but he's still having a bottle and fingerfoods and spoons quite happily, nay, enthusiastically...

OP posts:
Monkeybird · 27/03/2008 21:51

bumping, if only for self-indulgent need for stroke on brow...

OP posts:
gagarin · 27/03/2008 21:57

Oh dear - the pain of baby-led weaning!

But it sounds as though you are doing everything right and he's making his choices for whatever reason.

The last breast feed is a tearful moment....

Monkeybird · 27/03/2008 22:15

Is that it then, gagarin? Is he just telling me enough is enough? Why the bottle though? Does it just make him feel more independent and less 'forced upon' or summat?

I was never as tearful with the others - though I suppose I didn't really know whether it would be the last time - since I was ready to be able to have a bit more time away from him

Any ideas for helping ME get over it...?

OP posts:
gagarin · 27/03/2008 23:14

Well - you may be able to coax him on when he's asleep/very sleepy?

You said no to ABs - menstrual cycle changes can change taste of BM I think so maybe he'll fancy it again in a day or so.

And choosing the bottle isn't a rejection of you (although it feels like it) more an indication that he's separating food from affection? When he wants to eat he wants it quick and whne he wants you he'll still want his cuddles - but not food at the same time?

And no - I'm well past having babies and don't yearn for pregnancy - but would love to breast feed again...how weird am I?

morocco · 27/03/2008 23:20

it's incredibly rare for a baby to truly self wean at such a young age. biologically it would be madness, no bottles in the stone age! kellymom has some info and links here aabout nursing strikes, I liked the idea of baby wearing and just offering in a casual way but lots of times, expressing just beforehand if you think he's cross cos the letdown takes a while. I know, its devastating, I felt like I was being rejected

hang on in there. do you have a drop in you can go to for support in rl?

www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/back-to-breast.html#linksstrike

determination · 28/03/2008 08:15

I experienced nipple confusion with dd1 and it was so extreme that she would not allow me to hold her in the cradle position at all. Maybe there is something that i done that you could do to help with the siruation??

What i did was ditched the bottles. i would feed her using a large feeding syringe (free from chemist) and also the Medela Softcup Advanced Feeder. This meant that her sucking needs were not satisfied and usually when she was really tired or actually sleeping i could get her to latch onto me using a nipple shield.

Then i started a mission to get dd to associate my breasts with a "Happy Feeling". The way i done this was by laying dd on the floor and blowing raspberries on her tummy until she laughed, then i gently and quickly touched her face with my bare breast. We done this nearly every waken hour throughout the day for about 10 days then she started to show loving signs of the breast again. She would happily cuddle into my breast and would let me hold her happily whilst i was clothed or not. Then suddenly whilst playing "Happy Breast Time!" she quickly rooted and latched on - i was on all fours on top of her but managed to stay there until she was finished! I honestly felt like opening the house windows and screaming to let the world know how excited i was.. this was around 2 weeks after we started it. Then we spent about a further week around the house.. sleeping together naked, bathing together and playing together naked!

Before long we were back in full swing and the bottles were long in the bin.. we managed to continue BFing until she was just over 2 and she self weaned as i got pregnant again.

Monkeybird · 28/03/2008 10:10

thanks for all your support and suggestions - I would like to ditch the bottles but I don't think he'd get enough liquid at the moment without them. Will see how today goes and maybe post again later.

OP posts:
moondog · 28/03/2008 10:13

Monkey,as long as he is getting the bottles and formula, then the demand on your breasts is lowered so it is harder for him to get what is there which is less anywaY (MAKE SENSE??)

I would get myself a serious electric pump to build up supply over a few days.If you do offer it,try a cup.

You also need a babymoon i think.

Soprry yuo are struggling.

determination · 28/03/2008 21:16

How has your day been Monkey?

Monkeybird · 29/03/2008 13:53

Hi all

Had a slightly better day yesterday (though not helped AT ALL by a slightly mad trip to IKEA - will be writing about that debacle on my blog later...) but I did chill out a little and got my act together a bit more with expressing...

He's still refusing most breastfeeds but will let me at night. So I've been taking him into bed with me so he doesn't get out of the habit.

And I've been trying to pump at those times when he'd normally feed or as close as possible. Supply does seem still there but think if he does start feeding properly again will need to build up a bit.

Have been giving him a bit less solid food also which seems to help him take more milk, though he's not happy about that (is a full convert to the delights of eating!)

And we've been giving him mostly EBM whenever he normally has a feed, after trying him on the breast.

I suspect chilling out a bit is taking the pressure off him. i've been trying determination's tickling ideas also and that seems to help him a bit (less stressed about being near the boob)

He is deffo under the weather though as eyes are now yucky and green. Suspect he has the virus DS2 had recently. Maybe teething as well. And I am indeed premenstrual so it probably tastes weird.

Really don't want to give up BF or cut down quite so much yet so am resigned to pumping when necessary.

Ho hum.

But thanks everyone, am slightly less depressed again about it...

OP posts:
gagarin · 30/03/2008 23:02

And snoozy night feeds are so sweet!

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