Baby will not sleep after evening bottle

[Hopefulhoney6]

I have a three week old baby - breastfeeds like a dream and usually falls asleep quite easily after the breastfeed (I do tend to put him down drowsy or asleep!).
DH has started doing the first bottle of the evening whenever baby wakes up (so 10pm to 11:30pm at the moment) of expressed milk.
However, after this baby just will not go down in his cot. He doesn’t cry, but he just goes down wide awake and makes noises, when we know he should be sleeping.
Only way to get him to sleep is a quick 10 min go on the breast to get him drowsy and then put him down. But sometimes this is now at say midnight / 1am after a while of restlessness.

It seems to me he just likes the comfort of the breast to fall asleep. But really keen for DH to do this feed so I can sleep.
Any tips to help settle/sleep after a bottle?

Honestly, if your 3 week old is feeding well and falls asleep easy with the breast just do that? Don't make issues where there doesn't need to be one. Go to bed early, and feed baby in your bed when they wake up and pop back in the crib or co sleep. Sleep in the day with the baby if you need more sleep? DH can have the baby at weekends when they're awake to let you nap too.

Ah he’s still tiny, he doesn’t realise he’s not part of you yet which is why he settles so well at the breast - you are his very safest place atm!

It is hard going, but I think you just need to lower your expectations for a few weeks yet. As he gets older he’ll recognise you as a separate entity and will be more obliged to take a bottle. But for the time being I’d just bf to sleep.

Google the 4th trimester as it explains soooo much when they’re this little.

I have found the same! I saw a thing on Instagram that some women mark their expressed milk as am/pm am milk pumped at night will have more of the sleepy hormone. I personally haven’t noticed though!! I think it’s that they obviously suck a lot longer on boob than on bottle so it’s the suckling that sends them off as much as the milk.

same in the middle of night it’s a quick 30-45 mins for me but If partner gives bottle it’s up to 2 hours 🤷‍♀️

We have given up doing it as a bedtime thing and do it between 6-8pm

Likewise at 4 weeks. The aim of DH giving the bottle is for me to go to sleep but having to wait up to boob baby defeats the point.
It's because babies don't just nurse for food, they nurse for comfort/warmth/safety in mum's arms. Our babies need help getting to sleep at this age and they like what they know.
Like @Tryingtohelp12 we're now tending to do the bottle earlier about 8pm which will eventually be useful when I want to go out for dinner or swim in an evening. I'll be trying hard to work on independent sleeping skills from 6 months rather than solely feeding to sleep anyway.

I'd just leave him to fall asleep on his own, as long as he isn't crying.

Thanks all. Very helpful!! I know I probably do have high expectations (not helped by a couple of books me and DH have read that say “introduce a bottle early and let your newborn self settle”!!). But he’s a tiny human so I think patience and remembering he wants to be close to me is key. And maybe trying the bottle at different times if I want to persevere.