EBF and desperate to stop - please help!

[Lou2423]

Hi, I EBF my 16 week old and this last month my mental health has taken a dive because of it. I’m desperate to stop but he refuses any and all bottles, including expressed milk and formula.

I’ve tried other people giving it to him, different temps, being walked around trying to feed and nothing works

I think I’m on the verge of PND and the only way I see out is to stop bfing but my baby won’t let me :(

please help!

My baby also point blank refuses bottles, cups, syringe, etc. so I EBF. So I cannot help on that front, I'm sure someone more capable than me will come along. But I just wanted to say you're not alone.

I have had bad PND almost from birth, and since starting medication (sertraline) when he was almost 3 months old, my mental health has improved immeasurably. I feel almost like my old self again and have finally started to bond with my baby.

What is it about BFing that you think it causing PND?
As far as I understand breast feeding can help with PND due to the happy hormones that are released as you BF. Obviously everyone is different so in your case it may well be making things worse, but for me it has been part of what has helped me to bond with my baby now all the intrusive thoughts have finally started to fade since starting the medication.

Thank you, although it’s rubbish at least its not just my baby

I feel like ebf is taking more from me then anything, I know becoming a mum would change my life and I was ready for it - I wasn’t ready for being 4 months in and unable to have a haircut or leave my house past 5pm because the baby needs me and needs feeding. He also rarely settles for anyone else so the nights are fully on me, my partner tries but my baby just refuses him at night so I am exhausted. I’m at the point where I need to share the load, I need to be able to leave the baby with his dad or grandparents and do something for me for a couple of hours, I’m just so tired

Really hard at that age to stop, I think unfortunately when you do EBF you do have to accept that the first year your life does completely revolve around baby. Once I got my head round that and accepted it I felt a lot better. I also as previous poster did suffered with PND but bf wasn’t the cause it actually helped in a way. My little one stopped breastfeeding at 13 months pretty easily was on his terms really . You will find it easier once you introduce solids at 6 months the relentlessness of it becomes less.

That's exactly how I felt for the first 3-4 months until I started medication and it kicked in. After having the baby I felt like my life was over. I didn't know how I would keep going month after month with my life being nothing but him, and every day I cried for my old life back and my baby to not exist. This was the PND talking, and as soon as I got that under control everything else became so much easier. Now I am out almost every day doing things I love.

I still go to bed at 7pm with baby. we cosleep and he feeds whilst I sleep. But now my days are filled with happiness rather than resentment towards him.

Do reach out to your perinatal mental health team and/or doctor, health visitor, etc. The support I have had has been brilliant (unlike the midwifery care I had during pregnancy/after birth).

With the haircut, can you book an appointment day for 9 am and leave DH with LO. Give him feeds before you go and leave a cup or bottle, you'll probably have more success with a cup. LO should be ok if DH walks him around for an hour or two.

Sorry meant to add do absolutely call one of the Breastfeeding Helplines. A BFC will be able to help you to come up with a plan to stop BFing.

When you've tried a cup so far, will LO take any at all?

Is your baby fairly 'easy' overall? I took mine everywhere at that age, including to the hairdresser!

I’m 6 weeks into ebf and have been trying to introduce a bottle a day. Sometimes she takes it and sometimes she screams the house down. My hv said to keep trying.

i find she’s more likely to take it in the mornings when she’s quite hungry.

sometimes I feel like she’ll never get there with bottles but I’m just going to keep trying as there’s noway I can ebf forever.

good luck.

I don’t know if it’s the BFing or a mix of everything but at the moment it feels like stopping EBF will solve it but I doubt it will

I will reach out - I keep putting it off because some days I feel fine but on the days I don’t it’s awful so I definitely need to just pluck up some he courage the make the call!

We’ve done this before, where my OH drives him around whilst I had some lunch but the anxiety I felt and the stress of the constant ‘are you almost done’ texts makes it not with it at all

I will give them a call!

I’ve tried out of a cup before, and he just spits the milk out/lets it dribble out

He is such a lovely easy baby, and I’d be happy to take him no problem I just wanted the hour or two to relax haha

We did it in the first 6 weeks and he did take it so I didn’t try again and I’m so annoyed at myself! Well done for doing it every day xx