Please support me in my decision to mix feed - Have I really tried everything???

[glimmer]

I am fully BF DS (16 weeks). I have to return to work FT in two weeks time and had planned to express and continue to BF him exclusively. However, I have tried expressing now for 11 weeks and I just cannot get the letdown (supply not a problem). It takes 1h+ total time in several settings to get enough milk for one feed when I am lucky.
I have tried everything: smelling DS, seing DS, letting him drink on other side (works best), watching TV, trying to be zonked out and not think about anything (second best), express morning, daytime, nighttime, after DS feeds, before DS feeds, in between -- it is just not working for me. So I have decided to let the pump in the cupborad for now and enjoy my last two weeks of fully BF.
I plan on coming home for lunch, so that hopefully he will only need one feed in the afternoon on formula. However, since he is often hungry before noon, I fear that DH might give him another bottle before midday. I asked him to makes these feeds as small as possible, so that DS will mostly drink in the evening, morning and night.
I am so sorry that I cant continue to fully BF, but I was just stressing too much about expressing and I want to enjoy my last two weeks of Bf! Any suggestions, what to do to keep my like supply up? Will DS be hungry if I try to fully BF on the weekends?
Am I making the right decision?

I totally know how you feel! I too had problems pumping. It just got so frustrating that I quit. In the time it took me to fully just give up on it, I had then decided to try giving my son formula. But it had been too long of a period and he started rejecting the bottle period, and has never gone back to it. I wish that I wouldn't have been so worried to give him formula once in awhile at the very beginning. I felt like I was doing something wrong. Next time, I will know better. I think that the bottom line is that you want to enjoy the process of feeding your baby, and that he is happy. I don't really know how to keep your supply up. I'm pretty sure that if you fed him every evening/weekends that it would work out. Good luck!

I don't know much about expressing but it sounds as if you've done everything you could and it just isn't going to work out. I think you should give yourself a huge pat on the back for trying so hard and then, as you have already decided, enjoy the time you have left before going back to work.

I don't think you'll need to do anything to keep your supply up if you're feeding at lunchtimes and I'm sure that you will have no problems with fully breastfeeding at weekends.

Oh glimmer, sorry expressing isn't working out for you.

One of the mums on my PN thread is expressing at work, but her DD also gets some formula as well as she can't express enough. AFAIK she feeds normally at night and at weekends.

If I pump I only ever get one let down (that I can feel) as opposed to several during the course of DD feeding, and only ever manage one or two ozs at best. the only time I ever get anything is when my boobs are full. you might find that your boobs will fill up at work as they aren't being fed from, and that you will be able to express something.

I don't think he will be hungry if you don't give him formula at the weekend. He will get all he needs from your milk.

I'm not sure what the implications of mix feeding are at this stage, but if your supply is pretty much regulating itself by now, then hopefully the FFs won't interfere. I'm sure someone with more knowledge will be able to help.

and you shouldn't beat yourself up about this; you have done all you can to try and express and he has had the very best start in life.

come and say hello on the "success" thread

glimmer i never managed to get anywhere with expressing, but luckily got a longer maternity leave than you so was able to leave ds unbf while i was at work. can you express at work?

i really don't know what will happen to your supply, think this is a case for speaking to a trained bfc.

Have you tried expressing in the bath or shower? Warm water is great for let down. I hand express in the shower when I need to express as I dont get on with a pump either and find this much easier.
You could try that?
Is there any advice on kellymom.com?

Thanks for your support - Just what I need!
Hi Daisy thanks for your kind words - must come and say hi on success thread! I often read your posts you are very wise!
Hi Pannacotta - do you hand express or use a hand expressing pump? I have to admit I never expressed in the shower/bath, just straight afterwards. Problem is : I cant really shower at work twice a day (although there is one...), alhough maybe I should just put in in my calender as "meeting" ?! :-)

Oh, meant to also add that I never felt a letdown or leaked. But DS growing nicely along 50 percentile.

me neither with the letdowns and leaks, apart from right at the beginning.

you have the legal right to express + facilities at work. i am thinking that you might have more success expressing a feed which yoru baby would usually take.

glimmer I just hand express, no pump. Appreciate you can't have two showers at work! but you could try expressing first thing in the morning (often the best time to express) when you shower or have a bath. Try putting warm flannels on your breasts first, that can help.
And yes you are legally entitled to express/facilities at work as fishie says.

I've never leaked either except once in the early days.

I'd forgotten about hand expressing; I do seem to have more success there, but never worked out how to collect it without spilling lots, therefore counterproductive. But lol glimmer, your work are obliged to provide you with somewhere comfortable to express; if that's in the shower, then so be it

Did you see I've joined the Knicker Checkers again?

Some info here
www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/pumping_decrease.html

Daisy - congratulations!!!! Dont tell anybody but we are thinking about #2 as well. All the best!

Thanks for all the suggestions! That really helps!
Hand expressing doesnt work at all, but didnt have a Bfc "show" me, only read up on it.
Facilities at work fine.
Well, I do not think it will get easier since I am not trying to pump in addition to fully Bfeeding. I collect the expressed milk over the days and then DH gives DS a bottle of EBM, so that DS get used to the bottle. Then I try to pump the amount DH gave to DS on that day, so that in principle I only needed the extra-milk once IYSWIM. But thanks for to all the advice!

looking at it another way glimmer, he'll be starting solids six weeks after you go back. so demand will all be different anyway.

she'll

nope, right first time!

With my first I went back to work at 6 months and continued to breast feed just of a night, day times she went to formula. Had no problems with this and did it successfully for three months. I would have continued but needed to go into hospital for an op. A colleague has also been doing this for over a year with no problems.

Fishie - good point!
Jane - thanks that is encouraging.

I couldn't let down either my first that I bf (and believe me I had enough milk I engorge very badly!) I learnt with the subsequent I expressed in the early weeks (whilst semi engorged!) loads and stock piled it in the freezer. So I did the formula during day and bf morning, tea time & evening and it worked fine.

You need to do what you need to do, we'll support you whatever. But I don't think you say what type of pump you are using? I have never (3 babies) had any success with a hand pump at all, and have used a double electric pump with great success.

You may have already tried this and it may have made no difference but if you want to carry on, you could probably borrow one from your local NCT to see if you get on with it. I used the Ameda Lactaline which you can pick up on ebay really cheaply now. It works a treat for me.

But as others have said, you can fill in the gaps with other food and water at 6 months anyway so it's not going to be the end of the world.

Good luck with going back to work...

I tried electric pumps and hand pumps and got on best with the avent with the message petal best!

I went back to work when my son was 6 months and I'm still breastfeeding him morning and evening at 17 months. I didn't express at work at all. Like you I never leaked.

glimmer, I never got very much with the pump if I tried to fully bfeed and pump at the same time BUT when I went back to work, I got loads with the pump! I would still keep an open mind, bring the pump to work for the first few days and see how it goes. If you still get feck-all, then maybe put the pump away but I would give it a go first. And if he does have to have a little ( or a lot!) of formula, then so be it, it's not the end of the world. Would also recommend a double electric pump if you can afford one.

Ps best let down for me was DH putting arm round me and whispering in my ear