More help needed - milky supply, formula vs breast issues... You name it, I've got it!

[angel1976]

Hi ladies,

I feel like I am dominating these boards but any helpful insight would really help... Some of you might know my full story and some might not so here's the short version: DS is now 3 weeks + 3 days. He was diagnosed with TT (sorted out yesterday). I've been bf-ing him since we came back from the hospital, last night I gave him 2 oz of EBM around midnight just to make sure he's had enough and he woke up quite a few times in the night to feed (which was fine as I was warned by the bf counsellor that he could do this once he found his 'freed' tongue!). I continued bf-ing him through today but was 'aware' that despite feeding lots, he doesn't seem truly satisfied. I literally sat on the sofa the whole day today so he could feed as and when he liked. My breasts were rock-hard last night and by this afternoon, they were soft and floppy. And he was on them like a demon!

Anyway, half an hour ago, he began his hysterical hungry cry and we have had to give him 3 oz of formula as I haven't expressed at all since coming back from the hospital. I truly think I might have 'supply' issues though I know this is a contentious issue. I am frankly quite sick and concerned at DS getting so hysterical. Surely this is not good for him? I intend to go the the baby cafe where I got loads of help last week tomorrow so I can have a discussion with the bf counsellor but I know what she will, just keep feeding him bf exclusively and he will be fine. But my point is HE IS NOT despite the TT being sorted out. He is obviously still hungry despite nursing on my breasts ALL DAY. My thoughts at the moment are these: I don't want DS to get hysterical like that anymore, it's not helping him and it's not helping me. I want to bond with him, not get upset everytime he gets hysterically hungry. I would still like to bf but to remove the stress, I want to do mixed feeding - maybe 3 oz of formula in the morning and another 3 oz at night? I would make sure he nurses first before giving him the bottle. Tell me if you think this is a good or bad idea. Or should I consider giving up bf completely... I was FF (and so were loads of my friends, we were from 'that' generation!) and I turned out alright. Surely at some point, it is more important for me to enjoy my son than worry about bf??? The HV I had was very nice and said that bf is great and the best start you can give to your child but it's only ONE thing in being a parent. Thoughts please... Thanks!

Ax

Hi Angel. I'm not sure what the experts will say, but it does take a couple of days of feeding like a demon for your supply to catch up. Is there any way you could co-sleep with him tonight and feed all night if need be to help stimulate your supply?

They do have a growth spurt at this age - it could just be coincidental and not an indication of your supply.

When he is hungry you can just put him to the breast - you don't have to wait for them to 'refill' or give EBM or formula. When my dd was going through growth spurts she would feed, come off for a half hour or so + then want feeding again. It settled down eventually!

Mixed feeding can work for some but there can be negative consequences for your supply.

HTH

I too think he is likely to be feeding very very intensively to build up your supply (which might well currently be on the low side due to the difficulties you have had), and it will get better and this too shall pass. The TT was only sorted yesterday - it may well take a few days for things to adjust - but it will.

Introducing formula top-ups at this stage in the bf game is rarely helpful - mixed feeding, especially when started this early, often leads quite quickly to complete ff. I know it's horrid to hear him crying - I persevered through 3.5 weeks of breast refusal from my ds1, so I do know how horrid it is -, but if you can, I really would give the bf time. I speak as one who certainly reaped the rewards from sticking at it during a very difficult start.

angel, I posted on one of your threads last week. I'm so glad that DSs tonue tie has been sorted and I hope that things really take off for you now.

I have no expereince of mixed feeding, so hopefully tiktok et al will be along shortly to advise you, but I would also say this could just be a growth spurt and co-incident with all else that is happening. I know when my DD had this at just over three weeks I was convinced that she had sucked me dry and that there was noting left. Every time she unlatched she would be content for about five minutes and then would start rooting again.

i would hate to see you giving up on the BFing just yet. Give him time to sort himself out after the tongue tie issue and see where you are then.

In the meantime a babymoon with just you and him and some snacks and drinks to hand will be a wonderful way of helping to get things back on track.

It is soooo hard, physically and emotionally at this age, but it will get better.

hth xx

sorry meant to add that I just kept on feeeding her (as advised by lots of MNers), and the next day I woke up to boobs like barrage balloons again .

I will do all you have suggested but surely when DS is creaming blue murder in hunger, I can't just leave him to it??? I just feel like bf is so stressful from day one and surely all the stress outweighs all the benefits at the moment. I really can't stand to see DS screaming in hunger, it brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it!

angel when he is like that, does he calm down when you put him to the breast, or is he coming off frustrated because he isn't getting anything?

and sorry if I sounded flippant with my earlier comment . I had my share of troubles (mainly thrush and recurrent blocked ducts) and remember all to well how despondent it can make you feel

Hi angel
I read your last thread, glad the tt has been sorted.
I had a nightmare with DS after a stay in hospital (me) where I hadn't been able to express. DS was about 17 weeks, so I realise he was older. My supply dropped and the next couple of days were a nightmare. It really was just a case of feed feed feed, keep switching sides and do everything as calmly as possible and in a darkish room. I know, easy for me to say
It did get better though - I think by the 3rd day things were normal.

It is horrible watching them cry though, you have my total sympathy. Just re-read my last post and it seemed a bit flippant.
As you know, the problem with giving any formula is that your supply won't ever catch up. There's a chance it might end bf. It might not - plenty of people mix feed successfully, but for many others it means they stop bf before they intended to.
Not trying to influence your decision, but that IMO is the main issue.

please dont mix feed unless your happy for it to be the potential beginning of the end of your breastfeeding.

i speak from current, sad experience

xxx

Message withdrawn

Hi all,

Thanks. Am feeding DS now... Feeling slightly better after some kip... Thank goodness for hubbies! Will take each day as it comes but just feels like an uphill battle I'm never going to win... Thanks for all your empathy...

Ax

lackaDAISYcal, at his hysterical stage, he will take the breast for a few minutes, calm down a little before screwing up his face and crying and coming off it!

Message withdrawn

does that sound like it could be slow let down? Could you express a tiny bit before feeding?

angel, i hope you had a good night and things are looking a bit brighter this morning. I tried posting again last night, but MN had crashed/was getting maintenace done or something.

anyway, was going to suggest try expressing a little by hand, but SPB got there first

The other thing I was going to suggest was is it definately hunger? DD used to think she was hungry when she was just very windy, and we used to struggle to get wind out of her when she was tiny. I used to give her a finger to suck on, if it was wind she would be quite content with that, but she was very quick to let me know if it was actual hunger.

Let us know how things are going today.

I know you probably don't want to be reminded of this but the benefits of exclusive breastfeeding are really signficant, and last for years. It must be horrible to see your baby hungry, but as long as he's not dehydrated it's not going to harm him to have a few of these episodes. And it's meant to upset you - nature has made babies sound like foghorns so we FEED THEM all the time in an attempt to make the noise stop! Sorry - I know that's cold comfort but what you need right now is reassurance that if you keep going you will be ok - you just have to ride it out and that your baby will come to no harm.

Three weeks is 'the long dark night of the soul' for the struggling breastfeeding mum. Trust me - it will ease up. But if you keep giving supplements you might end up complicating your feeding issues even more by damaging your supply.

I think what you probably need more than anything else is reassurance that you are doing ok and that your baby is fine, if a bit hungry now and then while you get your supply sorted out.

Is there a baby cafe near you or a breastfeeding support group that you could go to?

Sorry you are having a rough time.
Introducing formula will only make things worse 9unless you want to omve over to formula completely).
The more formula you give,the less milk you will make.
Milk is made by the bay stimulating the breast by sucking.
The more he sucks,the more milk you will make.

That is essentially all you need to know about milk supply.