Cluster feeding - at my wits end

[charlaw]

Hi all. My baby is exclusively breastfed, at 10 weeks old she still cluster feeds from 7pm onwards, usually till about 1pm. It’s driving me crazy, I feel like my body isn’t my own and she is always hungry. We have tried to get her to take a bottle of my expressed milk for weeks now and haven’t had any luck. I thought that they were meant to grow out of cluster feeding by this point?
Luckily when she does go down she tends to sleep from 1-6ish most nights but I feel like me and DH can’t even enjoy a cuddle anymore on the sofa as she is constantly on me.
she is currently chomping away at my boob and started at about 6pm. I feel so frustrated.
Sorry to rant. Doesn’t anyone have any pearls of wisdom?

It’s not one you are going to like. Offer her a bottle of formula when you want to go to bed. It’s what I ended up doing.

Try a dummy. Often they're sucky babies rather than actually needing the constant milk!

She is only ten weeks, some baby’s still need this. Try to manage your expectations so you won’t be so disappointed every evening. It is a phase and it will pass, promised!

DS cluster fed and slept like that, it stopped at about 3 months. But it was the cluster feeding that was allowing him to sleep 1-6, and once he stopped his sleep got worse. The people I knew that had breast fed babies that didn't cluster feed were waking every 2-3 hours still. So I always saw it as I'd rather he cluster fed and I got the uninterrupted sleep.

I used to sit on the couch watching tv with DH while he fed, and pass him over for cuddles when he was done or put him in a Moses basket next to the couch. It passes so quickly that they are like this, and now I look back on that as one of my favourite times with him as a baby.

It's normal for a baby this age to cluster feed but of course that doesn't make it easy to manage. Mine both did this and I can't say I enjoyed it.

It is so hard, you are doing amazingly. It will pass I promise. You could try doing some breast compressions during those evening feeds and see if that helps at all.

Someone in has suggested a bottle of formula. Each to their own and if that worked for someone and kept them sane then that's great. However, what you feel your baby doesn't actually affect the amount of sleep you get. Many sleep studies agree on this one, that babies wake no matter what you feed them. And actually bf mother's get more sleep overall!

I know you miss your partner, it is one of the hardest things I think at this stage, missing the intimacy of just a cuddle on the sofa without a baby there. It'll come.

Thanks all, I’m feeling better this morning. It’s just frustrating when you want to try to sleep/let DH settle the baby but all she wants is you. She slept 12:30-8:30 last night so I realise it’s likely the cluster feeding that’s making her sleep so well. On the odd occasion she doesn’t cluster feed she wakes up to feed every 2/3 hours in the night.
Each to their own re formula, it is something we’ve considered but as cheesy as it sounds I’m so proud of myself that I’ve managed to navigate breastfeeding I don’t want to give up now. I guess I was just having a moan! I know ill
look back on these days and will miss the closeness.

@charlaw Going through this now at 6 weeks - can I ask what happened in the end?

@charlaw glad you feel better now. Just to say you are not alone. Agree with a couple of other posters that days will get better. When you in the moment hard to see. Also agree don’t feel connection with your partner. My son is 12 week old. I think it’s at 2 months mark I felt he slept more regularly at night. My son still need night time feed. Sometimes 2am 4am or 5:30am if I am lucky. But I changed my mindset which help. Just feed/cuddle/change nappy when he is unsettle. I just rotate these and if still not settle , ask for help from my husband. So far no other particular issue.

besides, not many people say this. You are doing great! Keep it up!