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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

To give up breastfeeding?

24 replies

Nix99 · 07/01/2024 14:38

I'm really struggling feeding DS (7 weeks). He's had a cold for the last 3 weeks (he has been checked out with GP) and is congested and snuffly. During feeds he is pulling off and crying and taking in air so becoming gassy. He will take a bottle of expressed milk and seems happier with this. He's also waking often in the night for feeds and it's almost a fight to get him to stay latched on and get a decent feed.

I'm considering switching to formula but I don't know what to do for the best. I feel bottle feeding would be better for my mental health at this point and I am worried continuing breastfeeding is upsetting him and I worry he's not getting all his nutrition. This said, he was weighed last week and is continuing along the 50th percentile so obviously is getting enough from me.

I fed DD for a year and I think this is feeding in to me feeling so rubbish about potentially stopping with DS because I'll feel like I've failed him and let him down and not done as much for him as I did for her. But on the other hand I would like to breastfeed longer but I'm starting to dread feeds now because they're so difficult. I suspect a lot has to do with his cold but this just doesn't seem to be shifting and I don't know what to do for the best.

Note: although he will take a bottle of expressed breastmilk I don't think I could express all feeds hence why thinking of the formula route.

OP posts:
BeingATwatItsABingThing · 07/01/2024 14:40

It’s absolutely up to you how you feed him. Any reason is good enough.

Your mental health is important and it sounds like bottle feeding is what you want to do to support that.

Echobelly · 07/01/2024 14:45

It sounds like it may be worth stopping - I didn't manage to BF DD successfully, I did eventually with DS and kept feeding for about 10 months. I have no regrets whatsoever about stopping the first time - we were both much happier and I was better able to bond with DD once feeding became less of a chore and more satisfying for us both.

NotARealWookiie · 07/01/2024 18:06

It’s totally up to you. I regret not stopping when I struggled with dd1 age 6 but finding it easy with dd2 (4 weeks) … do what’s right for you now, bu the time they’re at school you won’t know who was formula fed and who was breastfed. I’m a firmly believer in Happy Mum = Happy Baby.

BendingSpoons · 07/01/2024 18:13

It would be better for your body to cut down gradually. Could you mix feed for now and see how it goes? If you do a couple of bfs a day, you could increase them if it improves and continue to reduce if it doesn't.

DuploTrain · 07/01/2024 18:20

The day I decided to stop breastfeeding I felt the biggest wave of relief. I hadn’t realised fully how much it was stressing me out until then.

Maybe start transitioning onto formula and if you feel better with fewer feeds you might want to stick with a combination for a while. Or you might want to carry on and fully swap over to formula.

Wictc · 07/01/2024 18:24

Same, I wish I had stopped sooner. If I have another, I won’t make the same mistake again.

Kittylala · 07/01/2024 18:33

Goto formula. Life is too short. Plus they have to work harder on the breast.

KnickerlessParsons · 07/01/2024 18:52

The day I decided to stop breastfeeding I felt the biggest wave of relief. I hadn’t realised fully how much it was stressing me out until then.

Same.

DH made the decision for me. He went out and bought all the bottle feeding paraphernalia himself without telling me because he couldn't take me and the baby both crying every time she needed feeding.
My relationship with the baby had been rocky until then, but we never looked back when we switched to formula.

DontPutTheKidsThroughIt · 07/01/2024 18:58

You shouldn’t stop cold turkey anyway because you’ll just give yourself mastitis. So why not add a formula feed at 10pm -ideally given by your partner - and use it as a way to get 4-6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. So breastfeed at 8pm you go for a sleep, dad gives a bottle for the next feed and you pick up again during the night. Then see how you feel after a few days of that. You can start dropping more feeds if you feel that would be best or you might find that having that little stress of uninterrupted sleep makes everything else easier to manage and you want to keep the rest as breastfeeds. There’s no right answer there. Either option is good.
You’re doing a great job.

MamaToAliandHar · 07/01/2024 19:02

Do what best for you! I gave up on day 4 with DS2 as it hurt so much and my mental health was declining and I started to dread feeding him. Switched to formula and I felt so much better instantly and started to actually enjoy feeding him and bonding with him.

TheUsualChaos · 07/01/2024 19:11

Just give a different viewpoint, I was at my wits end with feeding DD at around 7-8 weeks, in tears every night, nipples cracked and painful. DH offered many times to go out and get formula but I decided to give it one more week and as it turned out we really turned a corner with it and from then on it was lovely.

I think they get really frustrated at this age as tummies are getting bigger to fill and its more of an effort for them than a bottle. But they do catch up and become very efficient at it!

Ultimately you just have to do what's right for you, there really is no right or wrong here.

JaninaDuszejko · 07/01/2024 19:17

He's got a cold, breastfeeding is the best thing for him at the moment, getting all your antibodies to fight it. Keep feeding until he gets over the cold and see how you feel then, don't stop over something that might be temporary.

You are an experienced breastfeeder, he's still learning but you know it will get easier.

abcdefghijkI · 07/01/2024 19:19

This will pass soon, though, OP. Don't give up now. If you're finding it hard right now with your baby being sick, think of how many illnesses you might prevent in the future by breastfeeding him, and how much of a life saver it is when your child is ill and won't eat or drink except for wanting breast milk. At those times it really makes a difference I think.

JoyOdell123 · 07/01/2024 19:20

It’s not worth your mental health. Nothing wrong with giving formula.

rllrsk8 · 07/01/2024 19:49

As much as there's some great advice here, maybe it's worth speaking to a professional advisor? I had a call with someone from La Leche League a few months ago when I was struggling with some aspects of feeding and they had some really practical advice that helped massively and I felt able to continue.

Alloveragain3 · 07/01/2024 19:51

My DD is 8 weeks and this resonates so much.

She had rsv at 3 weeks and really struggled to feed from me as she was so bunged up so we had to start bottle feeding.

I couldn't express enough so we did 50% formula feeds.

She acts like your DS on the breast and it's so frustrating and upsetting. I don't enjoy the feeds, I'm just counting her swallows and willing her not to unlatch!

For now, I've decided to stick out the BF as I fed my DS for 2 years and it was so easy once he was a bit bigger.

I just hope DD's feeding improves soon. I also hope she gets the hang of BFing lying down; I keep trying when I'm knackered and she's having none of it!

In your position, I'd probably stick it out until the cold is gone, to see if things improve.

blackpanth · 07/01/2024 19:51

JaninaDuszejko · 07/01/2024 19:17

He's got a cold, breastfeeding is the best thing for him at the moment, getting all your antibodies to fight it. Keep feeding until he gets over the cold and see how you feel then, don't stop over something that might be temporary.

You are an experienced breastfeeder, he's still learning but you know it will get easier.

Agree with this

kiwiaddict · 07/01/2024 19:53

Don't stress so much about this. If you can you can, if you can't you can't. A happy mum is the most important you know

Towelrail · 07/01/2024 19:54

7 weeks so you've established it well but you're still feeling tired and shit. Give it 2 weeks and I bet it'll be so different.

cheerfulsunday · 07/01/2024 20:28

Totally your prerogative - my only advice is never to quit on a bad day!

Original poster
Nix99 · 08/01/2024 12:13

I think we're going down the expressed bottles route for now because breastfeeding is resulting in him feeding for about a minute before crying and coming off and refusing t( go back on so I'm sure he can't be getting what he needs from that whereas he is taking a bottle of expressed milk fine. Will try the breast again later and see how we get on

OP posts:
shivawn · 08/01/2024 12:42

I'm breastfeeding my 6 week old but my husband gives a bottle of formula in the evening. It gives me a few hours break to go have a rest and really makes a big difference.

I'd give it a go before stopping breastfeeding altogether, only because you sound quite reluctant to stop in your OP.

Original poster
Nix99 · 08/01/2024 14:50

I decided to try again and he's just had a decent feed and come off happy. So much relief. I just hope it's not a one off but at least we can look at possibly combi feeding/ expressing in future without me feeling so much like I've let him down.

OP posts:
Alloveragain3 · 08/01/2024 21:39

That's great @Nix99
My DD had a few iffy days when better from her cold/rsv but then started breastfeeding way better all of a sudden, so hopefully will be the same for you.

We've had a few days where she's struggled recently (especially after her vaccines when she had a slight fever), so I pumped and bottle fed more those days as she does find breastfeeding tougher.

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