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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Just given EBF baby formula

30 replies

Lou1293 · 30/12/2023 20:32

Hi everyone

My DS is 12 weeks and has been EBF since birth. He’s always been really fussy at the breast and this has recently got worse (since I got my first period).

Tonight I decided to give him a bottle of formula and he guzzled it. I now feel terrible and can’t stop crying because I think he must have been so hungry and also because I feel like I’ve failed that I can’t give him what he needs 😓

Not really sure the point of this but just wondering if there’s any advice to try to increase my supply so that I don’t have to give formula? Obviously I will if he needs it but I’d rather EBF.

Thank you 😥😥😥

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 30/12/2023 20:46

Congratulations on new baby. You fed your baby formula not crack cocaine
One bottle feed won’t disrupt your routine. Cut yourself some slack, you’re a new mum it’s a tough gig. You don’t need to be perfect just good enough
supply is maintained by regular breastfeeding,some people recommend fenugreek. Evidence is patchy some reported an increase in breast milk

if you do mix feed offer breast milk first as the formula will fill stomach and decrease amount breast milk taken

honestly, take care and don’t beat yourself up.enjoy your new baby

and if you do mix feed or use formula it’s not the end of the world. Formula is safe, nutritional and made to high safety standards

ShowOfHands · 30/12/2023 20:52

I liked the kellymom website for advice, but there's no substitute for a real life breastfeeding expert. Have you anything locally? Can the health visitor recommend somebody?

To reassure you, the most contented, satiated, replete, full ebf baby will almost certainly guzzle a bottle of formula. It's rarely a sign of hunger. They're programmed to suck/swallow.

Please don't beat yourself up. You're doing tremendously.

Mummyofthewildones · 30/12/2023 20:54

Super normal, don't beat yourself up! Combi feeding was a game changer for me, did it with both DCs. It doesn't mean your baby was starving, it's just easier for them x

ilovetomatoes · 30/12/2023 20:57

I beat myself up so badly with my first for giving him formula. I look back now and can’t believe I let it taint what was such a special time. Be kind to yourself and do whatever you need to do.

Santaisscouringindeedfornewjob · 30/12/2023 20:58

Bottle feeding is easy peasy for them.. Bf takes work!!
Do not be so hard on yourself op.

SpaceChocolatel · 30/12/2023 20:59

They get more, quicker, from a bottle, so they do guzzle it. Both my ebf babies would have the occasional bottle of formula and were the same. Don't stress about it, feed your baby how you want to feed them.

Also, they go through stages of being more, or less fussy. You just have to push on (if you want to).

I used to find oats seemed to lead to increased supply, and pumping once a day for a while boosted my supply too.

Kellymom is a great website.

AnotherOldBag · 30/12/2023 21:01

OP, they all guzzle formula from a bottle. Babies have a reflex so that if anything touches the roof of their mouth they suck on it. The hole in a bottle teat is bigger than the holes in your nipple, so the formula comes out faster. This means that the baby is sucking, by reflex, and formula is pouring into his mouth faster than he's used to so he quickly swallows it, but the teat is still there stimulating his sucking reflex, so he can't help but keep sucking, and he gets into this frantic suck-swallow cycle, whether he's hungry or not, just because of his reflexes.
Is there anything else that makes you think he's not getting enough milk from you and you need to increase your supply?

Icanflyhigh · 30/12/2023 21:05

Give yourself a break sweetheart, 12 weeks EBF is brilliant.
A bottle of formula to top up is like me or you putting cream in our coffee.
You wouldn't do it every time, but once in a while it won't hurt.
Honestly, if formula was bad, it wouldn't be widely available would it.
You have done amazing for 12 weeks EBF and don't ever think different xx

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 30/12/2023 21:08

Here’s an opinion from someone way, way out of the baby stage, who combi fed her first and EBF her second: it doesn’t matter to the baby one bit, whether you breast feed or formula feed. It matters to you, but not to the baby who just wants to be fed.

As for it mattering to you: let it go. Don’t spoil these precious newborn days and weeks using your limited supply of energy on guilt or sadness or anything other than enjoying your baby. This time flies by and you never get it back (with this baby). It really is far, far, far more important to be happy as a new mum than to worry over your child being fed this way rather than that. Just feed him and focus on all the rest.

AnotherOldBag · 30/12/2023 21:09

Also, I get your feelings of having failed. I gave my ebf baby a bottle of formula around the same age and also felt horrendous. But he's just turned 4 and stopped breastfeeding a couple months ago! That bottle had absolutely no detrimental effect whatsoever. At the time, it feels rubbish, but I promise you haven't done anything wrong!

A couple of questions that might help clarify what's going on for you and baby:
Is the breastfeeding painful for you?
How many wet and dirty nappies is baby making each day?
Are you typically feeding baby on demand, or to a schedule?
How often does he usually feed in a day, and for how long?

Do you ever feel engorged?
Do you express any milk?
Have there ever been concerns around his weight gain?

Mystro202 · 30/12/2023 21:14

Well done on the 12 weeks of ebf- that isn't easy! I combi fed all of mine, youngest is 4 months and it really takes the pressure off me when she has a bottle or two each day.

IvyIvyIvy · 30/12/2023 21:20

I used a haakaa breast pump on the other breast at the same time as feeding, when you have a let down anyway so it's the easiest way to collect. It's just a suction one so no pumping but it really helps build up your milk production. You then would also have a stash in the fridge or freezer to feed baby later if you think they need a top up, but you'll soon be producing more than your baby is drinking if you do this consistently.

IvyIvyIvy · 30/12/2023 21:22

Also to add that I did one bottle of formula for the first three weeks and then built up my supply enough using the haakaa to ebf after that. Sometimes formula is just helpful to give yourself time to catch-up and rest.

sickbucket67 · 30/12/2023 21:24

He chugged it because it’s easier to drink from a bottle. A 12 week old will be feeding often to build up your supply, not because they are not getting enough

get it out of your head that you were starving your baby, because it’s just plain wrong

Bobbybobbins · 30/12/2023 21:27

Try not to stress about it. I started combo feeding my very hungry DS2. I stopped then wished I'd kept it up as then refused a bitter when I tried to wean him off bfeeding at 7 months.

lochmaree · 30/12/2023 21:49

AnotherOldBag · 30/12/2023 21:01

OP, they all guzzle formula from a bottle. Babies have a reflex so that if anything touches the roof of their mouth they suck on it. The hole in a bottle teat is bigger than the holes in your nipple, so the formula comes out faster. This means that the baby is sucking, by reflex, and formula is pouring into his mouth faster than he's used to so he quickly swallows it, but the teat is still there stimulating his sucking reflex, so he can't help but keep sucking, and he gets into this frantic suck-swallow cycle, whether he's hungry or not, just because of his reflexes.
Is there anything else that makes you think he's not getting enough milk from you and you need to increase your supply?

all of this, and also if you do want to keep giving bottles then you can try paced feeding as it allows the baby to regulate a bit easier.

MeMyselfandCake · 30/12/2023 22:14

I ended up combi feeding my first cos my milk supply just wasn't enough. This continued until DS was almost 5 months then I just formula fed as he refused to breastfeed. I felt guilty that my son must've been starving in his first couple of weeks, he lost a lot of weight and was given a feeding plan of top up feeds after every breastfeed. Don't beat yourself up, not every woman has an endless milk supply.

Original poster
Lou1293 · 30/12/2023 22:51

Thank you everyone for your comments. He had a nap after the bottle and woke up so, so happy and has had a BF which made me realise that actually if he’s happy then I’m happy - BF or formula. I’m currently going through a divorce with his dad and I think this evening the floodgates opened and with feeding issues it all just got a bit too much.

We’ll have a couple of days with lots of skin to skin, I’ll start using the haaka again but you’ve all made me realise it really doesn’t bloody matter - as long as he’s fed.

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 30/12/2023 23:01

Yes! Baby wants and needs you, mode of feeding is irrelevant. What matters is you two.
Take care of yourself and give that adorable baby a hug
Feed your baby and don’t sweat it. Look after yourself

Lostsoul123 · 30/12/2023 23:08

Pleased you are feeling better OP. 💐 I beat myself up about turning to formula only to realise it really doesn't make too much of a difference in the long term- my 3 year old is healthy as they come and was predominately formula fed! Whatever is best for mum and baby ❤️

Islandermummy · 30/12/2023 23:11

I only got to 4 weeks EBF. You've tried really hard and done really well. Your baby has had loads of benefit from what you've done so far.

Don't feel sad: if your baby has had wet nappies and gained weight then he's been fed enough. IMO, the whole way breastfeeding works is designed to be efficient, and so kind of relies on baby being a bit hungry and then demanding more (hence cluster feeding). It's supply and demand so that mums in nature (where food is scarce) don't waste energy overproducing. That's why it's hard for a lot of people!

I also feel the pro-breastfeeding pressure can be way OTT. Yes, it's vital to support women who want to breastfeed. But it makes me sad that any woman feels she has failed.

You sound like wonderful caring mum. Well done

Garman · 30/12/2023 23:13

Did you do paced bottle feeding? Otherwise they will guzzle it because it falls into their mouths.

LaurieStrode · 30/12/2023 23:16

Raincloudsonasunnyday · 30/12/2023 21:08

Here’s an opinion from someone way, way out of the baby stage, who combi fed her first and EBF her second: it doesn’t matter to the baby one bit, whether you breast feed or formula feed. It matters to you, but not to the baby who just wants to be fed.

As for it mattering to you: let it go. Don’t spoil these precious newborn days and weeks using your limited supply of energy on guilt or sadness or anything other than enjoying your baby. This time flies by and you never get it back (with this baby). It really is far, far, far more important to be happy as a new mum than to worry over your child being fed this way rather than that. Just feed him and focus on all the rest.

Agree.
For what it's worth I never had a drop of breast milk and at 60 am happy, successful, recorded as having a high IQ (154) and (knock on wood!!!!) no ill health ever other than the typical colds and flu. And I imagine that today's formula is better than what there was in 1963.

Baby doesn't care and it won't affect outcomes. Do what's easiest for you and for him.

TurkeyTwizlers · 30/12/2023 23:21

My milk dried up so I had to BF, I cried after the first one. It’s hormones messing with your mind.

A bottle or the odd one might help you BF overall. Maybe you need a short break to rest or let your supply catch up a minute. I now know lots of people who have mixed fed, given the very odd bottle when it’s needed. It doesn’t have to be 100% one way or another.