Struggling to stop breastfeeding 11 month old

[doingitalllagain]

Really struggling to stop breastfeeding. He is taking forever (40 mins+) to get down for a nap without boob, would take less than 5 if I just fed him and at night I have no choice, the only way he will go back to sleep when he wakes at night is with boob. Otherwise he will scream and scream and scream and I have to give in as we have another child who will be woken. My eldest was combi fed from 4 months old and I feel like I've fucked up exclusively breastfeeding for this long as I don't know how to stop now. Ideally I want to be totally done in the next 2/3 weeks.

I’m watching this thread with interest as I’ve posted a similar one.

My DD settles a lot more quickly when DH soothes her. Just gets frustrated with me if I don’t BF.

Mine won’t go down for a nap during the day either unless I BF or car journey or walk in pushchair. I’m trying to wean too so just do car or pushchair during the day now for naps.

I’m still feeding to sleep, but when she wakes up tonight I’m going to offer water and might even offer a snack. this could form a bad habit but at least when I’m back at work me or DH can do snack rather than it being all down to me with BF.

I don’t know if any of the above is good advice exactly - it’s what I’m doing in a similar situation!

Are you offering an alternative milk the times you’re not offering breast milk?
I’d personally sort out the sleep association first before weaning as they still need milk and it seems pointless doing formula for one month before cows milk could be given, but you could be strict and drop the pre-nap and overnight feeds. It’s much easier if you can get someone else to do this though while they get the hang of it.
I EBF my first for 15 months,2nd for 6 months and current for 11 months and counting and it’s not an ebf baby thing as my first was like it but my second weren’t because I didn’t offer milk as the default, but if you’ve nursed for every sleep then that’s the only way they know how to go to sleep.

I weaned off boob at about 10 months and i swapped to pumping for a few days and giving her a bottle then slowly decreasing it to a mix of my milk and formula. Depends how well your little one takes to a bottle though but its the only way i could get mine to go off aswell. Shes now slowly wanting less milk and happy with just being rocked and having her dummy.

I BF all three of my mine and I found they didn't wean until I was absolutely determined in my mind I was done and ready to stop.
I first made sure to institute a rock solid bedtime routine, with lights dimmed and all curtains closed with a quiet house (you can watch TV etc in another room once the baby is asleep) to help the child's brain get the signal it's night. A warm bath, into PJS and book etc. This should be less than an hour. Once that was in place I braced myself and my husband I told the baby a story about how at night the sun goes to sleep, the animals go to sleep, the insects go too sleep etc etc and that also whatever you are calling BFing goes to sleep too. If he or she wakes up under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will you give him/her the boob. I found this only worked when I had the determination of steel. It was like the baby just knew I meant it because each time I thought it would go on for days with hysteria but it didn't. You must stay calm and matter of fact, so must your DH, don't engage and just be adamant it's not happening. I know this sounds simplistic but it worked for me every time, but only if I meant it. If my heart wasn't really in it I just would.cave fast. It's down to YOU being ready. My babies were older than yours too so theoretically the behavior was even more ingrained.
You can't cave and know just because your baby is crying/screaming they are actually fine. They are safe and warm at home. You are not hurting them or rejecting them.
Once you eliminate any wake up feeds you can move to eliminating the last feed at night as well.

When I stopped breastfeeding my 3rd at 1 year old I was very rigid in my times for feeding in the couple of weeks leading up to stopping (though I’d very much fed on demand most of the time) and fed 10 mins per side morning and evening then reduced the feed by 1 min each day. It meant watching the clock but worked much better than with my eldest when I just stopped more abruptly